Ian says:
then ill be done.
Ian sent 4/21/2008 10:06 AM:
thne ill loook at the damn logs now.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
You talk to me.
Ian says:
i rather see the chat logs.
Ian says:
brb.
Alexis says:
Yea thanks, i've been honest but w/e.
Ian says:
oo i see.
Alexis says:
You sure seem to want to protect them when i always told you who said shyt about you.
Ian says:
i used to always tell you.
Alexis says:
And why not now?
Ian says:
cause its true?
Alexis says:
Its not true.
Ian says:
why let someone just trying to help me be flamed?
Alexis says:
Because im tired of people lieing and I love you and I trust you no matter what people said in the past.
Ian says:
then wth, unless someone created chat logs of you saying some really fakwed up shyt, its true..
Alexis says:
Oh? and what did it say?
Alexis says:
Because I haven't said shit.
Ian says:
k.
Ian says:
kinda odd how im looking at it now T_T
Alexis says:
You tell me what it says that I said?
Ian says:
it is you saying it..
Ian says:
its a chat log ffs
Alexis says:
Tell me what it says.
Alexis says:
Because I haven't said anything.
Ian says:
you already know T_T
Alexis says:
No I dont.
Ian says:
meh.
Ian says:
lets break up please.
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
please.
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
please.
Alexis says:
No, no begging will let me break up with you.
Alexis says:
I've been honest this whole god damn time
Alexis says:
What would you like me to do?
Alexis says:
Come there now and never go online to prove my trust?
Ian says:
nope.
Ian says:
i want to break up. you asked what i want you to do, just walk away thats what i want.
Alexis says:
Its not gonna happen.
Ian says:
then w.e sorry.
Alexis says:
No you're talking this shyt out with me.
Alexis says:
ANd you're telling me what I appearntly said.
Ian says:
im done though.
Alexis says:
No you're not.
Alexis says:
You're talking to me and you're not done.
Ian says:
ok..?
Alexis says:
I'm tired of people saying bs and im tired of them doing this shit.
Alexis says:
I tell you everything I do and you should know betterr than that.
Ian says:
w.e maybe its cause its true, it wouldnt continue and continue, this is just like rika >>
Alexis says:
Its not true..
Alexis says:
And im not rika ffs.
Alexis says:
I'm Alexis, big difference.
Ian says:
no meaning i feel like chewie atm
Alexis says:
Dear I haven't cheated on you or anything so WTF?
Ian says:
ppl are always telling him rika did this or that when she supposedly talk s to no one but him
Ian says:
and i know what that situation is all about, this situation mirriors that one.
Alexis says:
But its not.
Alexis says:
You're hiding one who is saying it, two what the chat logs say, and most of all yout ake some one else's word above mine.
Ian says:
no..
Ian says:
i said im sick of it
Ian says:
thats all
Ian says:
i never said you are or arnt
Ian says:
i said you should talk to toher ppl
Ian says:
but you dont have to lie to me about it ffs.
Alexis says:
I dont want to and im not doing anything wrong.
Alexis says:
I'm not lieing ffs.
Ian says:
meh ok hun, i guess your like the only person in the world that keeps msn open 24/7 just to have it open.
Alexis says:
:/
Ian says:
just for kicks
Ian says:
see
Ian says:
im not an idiot
Alexis says:
You're not an idiot.
Alexis says:
No one ever msns me.
Alexis says:
I never msn them unless its something important, which there never is.
Alexis says:
SO i feel like ive just been called a liar, multiple times today.
Ian says:
then break up wioht me.
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
please.
Alexis says:
No i will not.
Ian says:
meh
Ian says:
w.e
Alexis says:
No you talk
Ian says:
its just weird to me.
Alexis says:
I asked you last night if something was wrong and you said no
Ian says:
actually its like the weirdest thing so far.
Alexis says:
Well whatever was said, because I have no idea what was said. Its not true.
Ian says:
no meaning, i told you why my guy friend would say your always on.
Ian says:
and hes right.
Ian says:
makes no sense.
Ian says:
ppl dont keep msn for kicks
Alexis says:
I dont talk to anyone else though
Ian says:
meh
Ian says:
OOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Alexis says:
When people do happen to msn me I do answer.
Alexis says:
-_-
Ian says:
im an idiot roflmao
Alexis says:
Wtf?
Alexis says:
I never said you were.
Ian says:
thats why you always have it on.
Alexis says:
And never implied that you were either.
Alexis says:
To talk to people that never talk to me?
Ian says:
then why? just to have it on? OO
Alexis says:
Dear
Alexis says:
I leave it on because I do, no reason. If you feel better I shut it off, fine.
Ian says:
well last time i talked to zad during a server dt i said i took a nap cause zad said you were in a group chat and i didnt want to bother you.
Ian says:
ppl tell me shyt.
Ian says:
ppl i trust
Ian says:
with ppl i dont trust
Alexis says:
I left any group chats people send me to -_-
Ian says:
heh ok
Ian says:
i guess zad is lying to me too?
Alexis says:
I auto leave group chats..so I have no idea.
Alexis says:
AS soon as im invited i open them and close them.
Ian says:
why not just reject if tahst teh case oO
Alexis says:
You cant reject them
Alexis says:
They force you in D:
Ian says:
meh ok..
Alexis says:
You want me to show?
Ian says:
nopes
Alexis says:
Obviously you're not believeing me.
Ian says:
thers a reason you have it open 24/7. i guess one day ill know why or i wont.
Alexis says:
There is no damn reason. I leave it open as its a force of habit from when i first got internet, and before I played MMOs and long long before I met anyone from fiesta.
Ian says:
lulz ok.
Alexis says:
See you wont trust me because of what people say.
Ian says:
no it makes alot of sense
Ian says:
like too much.
Alexis says:
Well its a lie.
Ian says:
im kinda person i listen to reason.
Ian says:
and his point is just.
Ian says:
and still rather valid imo.
Alexis says:
It is not valid.
Ian says:
still makes no sense to me.
Ian says:
yeah it is.
Ian says:
cause i always felt weird about it.
Ian says:
then when someone else has the same opnion
Ian says:
it becomes more valid.
Alexis says:
Well you shouldn't, ill start turning it off if thats what it means. Good god, I haven't talked to anyone unless they msn me. And thats so god damn rare.
Ian says:
okies.
Ian says:
still werid.
Alexis says:
Shouldnt be.
Ian says:
dont turn it off.
Alexis says:
No it obviously bothers you.
Ian says:
idc if you talk to other ppl ffs.
Ian says:
i just dont get why you lie about it or w,e
Alexis says:
I'm not lieing.
Ian says:
maybe if you just tekk me you talk to toher ppl ill start talking to my friends again too and we can both be happy.
Alexis says:
I dont though, I tell you the only times they talk to me and you're not even listening.
Ian says:
nope
Ian says:
im stubborn
Alexis says:
Yea and so am I xD
Ian says:
always have a problem too.
Alexis says:
Nope
Ian says:
so yeah.
Ian says:
lets just break up, i like other girls and you like other guys so w.e
Alexis says:
Excuse me?
Alexis says:
I dont like anyone else
Ian says:
according to other ppl i should say.
Alexis says:
So we're not breaking up.
Alexis says:
ANd other people are wrong.
Ian says:
w.e
Alexis says:
No stop that
Ian says:
i dunno anymore.
Alexis says:
You should know
Ian says:
idk anything when im like this.
Alexis says:
You sure know that you appearntly like other girls.
Ian says:
im a totally diffrent person, no?
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
sure i like and flirt with like 3 other girls every day.
Alexis says:
I doubt that.
Ian says:
you just acted like i do, so why would you doubt it. even though it was sarcasim.
Alexis says:
You said you appearntly liked other girls
Alexis says:
And i dont say you do
Alexis says:
I dont think and know you dont.
Ian says:
i was just saying that from when the moron in lumy siad i have another girl.
Alexis says:
He was an idiot :/
Ian says:
thats why i said i like other girl and you like other guys.
Alexis says:
Well we dont. And I know so that I only like and love you.
Alexis says:
And explain to me something?
Ian says:
yeah?
Alexis says:
Why you're display picture currently two girls?
Ian says:
lol was showing someone something T_T
Alexis says:
xD Was just curious m'love
Ian says:
sorry.
Alexis says:
Dont be sorry.
Ian says:
why not?
Ian says:
you seem upset about it?
Alexis says:
Why be sorry for having a different display picture?
Alexis says:
Nope.
Ian says:
your quiet now..
Alexis says:
What am I to say? I have the dream I had of you repeating over and over again in my mind..
Ian says:
?
Alexis says:
Basically was like, ended up on a boat thing across the ocean for like 51 days -_- and I didnt get to say goodbye or anything and for some reason my tongue and lip got pierced. And like when I finally got in contact with you, you were upset.
Alexis says:
So you tell me why I have crazy dreams -_-
Ian says:
im always upset.
Ian says:
listen to your own good advice
Ian says:
and break up
Alexis says:
My own advice wtf?
Alexis says:
You're not always upset.
Alexis says:
You dont get that i love you and I wont break up with you, do you?
Ian says:
im always upset.
Ian says:
every day.
Alexis says:
Not to me you are.
Alexis says:
So no you're not.
Ian says:
D:
Ian says:
yes..
Alexis says:
No..
Ian says:
i always am.
Ian says:
im always non stop in a bad mood.
Ian says:
constantly.
Ian says:
all day long.
Ian says:
every day.
Alexis says:
Then appearntly when you seem happy you're not.
Alexis says:
I swore you were happy a lot but I guess im wrong.
Ian says:
not usually.
Ian says:
can we be friends?
Ian says:
please?
Alexis says:
No.
Alexis says:
We're not breaking up -_-
Ian says:
im not happy with it anymore.
Ian says:
we or atleast i feel like im making a mistake here.
Alexis says:
How do you feel you're making a mistake
Ian says:
becuase i just do cant really put it into words cause i suck at expressing my feelings though words.
Ian says:
its just a mistake.
Ian says:
whole damn thing.
Alexis says:
So everything was for nothing because you wont try to explain?
Ian says:
guess so.
Ian says:
can we be firends?
Alexis says:
Stop that.
Alexis says:
You're going to explain to me.
Ian says:
imma keep asking till you get sick of it or just say yes.
Alexis says:
Neither will happen.
Ian says:
then
Ian says:
i think
Ian says:
we should just be firneds
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
so..
Alexis says:
You're not willing to explain why you think everything was a mistake.
Ian says:
im going to have to break up with you.
Ian says:
sorry.
Ian says:
you wont listen to reason.
Alexis says:
No you're not stop that
Alexis says:
Or did I forget that what you said something like "i dont know what i'd do without you."
Ian says:
i dont know.
Ian says:
ill figutre it out though.
Alexis says:
Too bad its not gonna happen.
Ian says:
then you can finally be happy and carefree like you used to be before i fawked you all up in the head wiht my wierd little problems all day every day.
Ian says:
^ all truth
Alexis says:
Wtf?
Ian says:
we should break up/
Alexis says:
That is not the truth.
Alexis says:
I am happy and carefree. And we're not breaking up, you're little "problems" are not problems and they didnt fawk with my head.
Ian says:
2 seconds gotta pee
Alexis says:
k.
Ian says:
sorry
Alexis says:
wb and dont be sorry.
Ian says:
your like silent D:
Alexis says:
I gotta pee and i've been ignoring it since i've woke up to talk to you and be with you.
Ian says:
then go do what you have to baby :3
Ian says:
ill wait
Alexis says:
No because you're obviously not happy.
Ian says:
yes i am, please go pee then come talk to me.
Alexis says:
Then ill brb, love you.
Ian says:
kk love you
Alexis says:
Back sorry, bathroom is even colder than it is right here :/
Ian says:
brb too D:
Ian says:
need food D:
Alexis says:
^^ kk eat a lot m'love <3333333
Ian says:
love you.
Alexis says:
love you lots
Ian says:
hmm ily more
Alexis says:
No i love you more :3
Alexis says:
lol my cat is crawling all over me
Ian says:
oO
Ian says:
i want to crawl all over you.
Alexis says:
xD You can soon.
Alexis says:
Mmm so quiet?
Ian says:
sorry im horny D:
Alexis says:
xD its k
Ian says:
now your quiet you bish then take like 3 min to respnd with 2 words and a face xD
Alexis says:
xD Thank you i know im a bish :3
Ian says:
huh oO
Ian says:
didnt call you a bush...
Ian says:
bish
Alexis says:
Im teasing xD
Ian says:
you just busy on msn as always
Alexis says:
No..
Ian says:
u let you go
Alexis says:
-_- No stop that.
Ian says:
meh you dont see to be talkign still.
Ian says:
so ye id say your busy
Alexis says:
You know what im doing?
Alexis says:
Im looking at my hands and thinking.
Alexis says:
Because you're not talkative and everytime i talk you seem to be busy too
Ian says:
im never to busy for you all i had to do was eat, ill starve from now on
Alexis says:
No, you eat.
Ian says:
already did
Ian says:
your all short and quiet though
Alexis says:
Im not trying be short or quiet.
Ian says:
all you have to say is your busy and ill go till later is what i mean.
Ian says:
meh not tyring but are.
Alexis says:
But im not busy..
Ian says:
imma just go.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
Yous tay
Alexis says:
stay*
Ian says:
im honry for some reason T_T
Alexis says:
Probably thought about something ;p
Ian says:
huh?
Alexis says:
I mean, you're probably honry causeee you thought about something o:
Alexis says:
xD if that makes sense
Ian says:
what somethig? :
Ian says:
Alexis says:
Me? ;p
Ian says:
D:
Alexis says:
I dont know xD
Ian says:
kk cya.
Alexis says:
Dear...
Alexis says:
When you're quiet what am I to think?
Ian says:
your not talking like you usually do...
Ian says:
usually youll say a few other thigns or somethign i dunno what ytou wanted me to say back to that
Ian says:
gah im sick of not thinking just
Ian says:
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Ian says:
lets breaj up
Alexis says:
...
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
now
Ian says:
sorry not working abd wont every woker
Alexis says:
Yea it will as soon as I stop being stupid and think you're upset with me.
Ian says:
w.e
Ian says:
just for reals w.e
Alexis says:
No, no w.e.
Alexis says:
No stop that.
Ian says:
pleasE?
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
im seriously begging you just lets break the fawjk up./
Alexis says:
No ._.
Ian says:
if not i swear you'll never see or hear from me again.
Alexis says:
...
Alexis says:
You tell me something RIGHT now
Alexis says:
Would you exactly feel happy if someone you love tells you all morning "Lets break up." When there is no good reason to? I'm trying to be happy and IM TRYING to talk normally like I do.
Alexis says:
And threatening to me just so you can run away from a problem we need to work out doesnt do anything.
Ian says:
cya \
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
You wait and talk to me
Ian says:
done talking want to be single ok.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
You're talking
Alexis says:
and you're not being single.
Ian says:
if you wont let me go ill just go on my own.
Ian says:
then im going on my won.
Alexis says:
Stop
Alexis says:
You talk to me now
Ian says:
sorry im deleteing this msn and cloud as soon as i can.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
You stop that
Alexis says:
You talk to me now
Alexis says:
Please
Ian says:
no i dont want to be wiht you anymore.
Alexis says:
Why?
Alexis says:
because im quiet for once?
Ian says:
why dont you get it?
Alexis says:
I obviously dont get it because I love you and I swore I knew that you love me too.
Ian says:
GUESS I LED
Alexis says:
No you didn't.
Ian says:
can i go now?
Alexis says:
No
Ian says:
ok your forcing me to go a way i dont want to go.
Alexis says:
:/
Alexis says:
Is it so bad
Ian says:
but i have to cause you wont let me go.
Alexis says:
that i love you so much I cant let you go?
Alexis says:
Is it that really damn bad?
Ian says:
anyways cya. well in my dreams i guess.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
You wait and you talk to me
Alexis says:
Now.
Ian says:
no
Alexis says:
Yes
Alexis says:
Please
Ian says:
sorry im thorough
Alexis says:
No you're not
Alexis says:
Stop that
Ian says:
yes i am.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
Stop
Ian says:
you dont know whats going on in my head.
Alexis says:
Then tell me
Ian says:
once i give up its hard to go on
Ian says:
so no
Ian says:
i do give up and im not trying any,pre
Alexis says:
So yes, you are going on and yes you're being me and yes you're not breaking up with me.
Ian says:
anymore
Alexis says:
Why?
Alexis says:
I try pretty damn hard ot make you happy and content
Alexis says:
I see you as perfect and you just want to run away from it.
Alexis says:
And dont you dare, delete cloud.
Ian says:
meh
Alexis says:
No mehs.
Ian says:
i dont trust it is all my gut tells me somethign werid is going on
Alexis says:
Nothing weird is going on ;/
Alexis says:
You know everything.
Ian says:
and i wont let my gaurd down enough to be happy with you ever again.
Ian says:
so find another guy.
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
ok?..
Ian says:
then wth be unhappy with me forever,
Ian says:
ok?
Ian says:
sound good?
Ian says:
thats what itll be
Alexis says:
You know what sounds funny?
Ian says:
24-7 of this
Alexis says:
That you were so happy just a moment ago.
Ian says:
no i wasnt
Alexis says:
Then why fake it?
Ian says:
havent been
Ian says:
becuase just w.e
Alexis says:
Tell me.
Ian says:
i wanted you to be happy no matter, what.
Ian says:
but why bother.
Ian says:
sick of it.
Alexis says:
Sick of what?
Ian says:
the whole mother fawking thing
Ian says:
us
Alexis says:
Why?
Alexis says:
Cause
Ian says:
the whlel thinf
Alexis says:
People say bs
Ian says:
thing
Ian says:
no
Alexis says:
Then what
Ian says:
we just dont work well.
Ian says:
and all the bs is getting old yes.
Alexis says:
Wow then I must be in a whole motherfucking new world
Alexis says:
because I swore to god we were perfect for each other.
Alexis says:
And you've said so many times your self.
Ian says:
lets just be firends.
Alexis says:
Stop that.
Ian says:
friends
Ian says:
i dont like us anymore.
Ian says:
and havent for some time.
Ian says:
so why stay toghter?
Alexis says:
Because im a stubborn bish.
Ian says:
can we be firends?
Ian says:
please..
Alexis says:
Ffs i dont want to break up.
Ian says:
well i am anyways.
Ian says:
sorry,
Alexis says:
No you're not
Alexis says:
Stop that
Ian says:
w.e
Alexis says:
No w.es.
Ian says:
yes i am.
Alexis says:
No you're not D:
Ian says:
omfg then i have no choice but to disappeaer.
Alexis says:
No you dont
Alexis says:
You listen to me now
Ian says:
yes
Ian says:
ok what?
Alexis says:
Why dissapear? You're so sick of us then wtf am I obviously doing wrong?
Alexis says:
I try to make YOU happy because IM Happy when im with YOu
Alexis says:
I dont get it, you say you love me, and you say you're happy with me and when I ask whats wrong you say nothing.
Ian says:
your not doing anything wrong, idk why i feel like this but i do, i cant change it.
Ian says:
i tried and tried
Ian says:
but no i can change it.
Ian says:
im sorry.
Ian says:
but i wont be miserable.
Ian says:
it will only bring both of us down.
Alexis says:
You sure sounded happy on the phone the other day too.
Ian says:
cause i cant continue to live for only trying to make you happy when im so damn sad.
Alexis says:
Then wtf can i do to make you happy?
Ian says:
be my firend
Alexis says:
How the hell does that make ANY sense?
Alexis says:
You remember what it was like before being with me?
Ian says:
cuase im nto happy in the relationshop, no more relationship= me happier? :/
Alexis says:
I dont see that happening.
Ian says:
it will.
Ian says:
promise.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
You told me
Alexis says:
That you're the happiest you've ever been when with me.
Ian says:
becuase i wanted you to be happy even after i stoped felling all the feelings.
Alexis says:
Then i suck and I deserve to cry like I am already.
Ian says:
but after so much its too hard to continue going on.
Ian says:
so yeah today is when its gone too long.
Alexis says:
You've tryed to break up with many times because you wanted me to be happy
Ian says:
sorry talk to zad or somethign hell make you feel betetr but im going.
Alexis says:
but i know myself better than people think.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
Im not talking to anyone but you.
Alexis says:
And will not.
Alexis says:
You're going to fucking talk to me and its going to be now.
Ian says:
ffs what do i gotta say to make you go? im cheating on you -.-
Alexis says:
Dont believe it.
Ian says:
tell you what?
Alexis says:
Nothing you will tell will do that.
Ian says:
ok yeah i was cheating on you with batty
Ian says:
so meh.
Alexis says:
Rofl no you weren't.
Ian says:
kk..
Ian says:
ask her?
Alexis says:
I think I know you better than that.
Alexis says:
I dont know who the fuck batty is
Alexis says:
And im not going to ask her as I already know you didnt.
Ian says:
batmans lover
Alexis says:
You probably just asked her to say so.
Alexis says:
So no im not going to ask,a nd im not going to believe such bs.
Ian says:
lmao ok then.
Ian says:
atleast i feel better now.
Alexis says:
Yea you keep trying to get me to break up with you and its not gonna happen.
Alexis says:
Why feel better?
Ian says:
cause i finally admitted what ive done wrong and felt so bad for..
Ian says:
and your not even upset.
Alexis says:
And you dont have the guts to say it to me on the phone?
Ian says:
i do.
Alexis says:
Really?
Alexis says:
I dont see it.
Ian says:
we arnt on the pone/
Alexis says:
Options: You call or I call.
Ian says:
phone is dead, but seriously ask her. im not kidding.
Alexis says:
Why?
Ian says:
i never meant to hrut anymoe.
Ian says:
thats just me..
Alexis says:
I dont believe it and even if she tells me so im not gonna believe it.
Ian says:
oO
Ian says:
ok then..
Alexis says:
im weird yea i know.
Alexis says:
But i dont believe it and Im not going to ask.
Ian says:
then i dunno what to say anymore..
Ian says:
its true though :/
Alexis says:
It is not.
Ian says:
ok w.e
Ian says:
why youthink i stayed up till 3 the other night when you left at 12?
Alexis says:
I dont know maybe you were upset?
Ian says:
and woke so early?
Ian says:
no cause i wanted time to be with her.
Alexis says:
Still wont believe it.
Ian says:
umm ok then..
Ian says:
im confused now..
Ian says:
i never been called a liar when im being so honest..
Alexis says:
Maybe its because i love you and I wont believe it.
Ian says:
sorry but you should.
Alexis says:
Then whats so much better about batty since you insist its true.
Ian says:
lets be frieds ok.
Alexis says:
Stop that.
Ian says:
i want to go out with someone else ffs, why couldnt you make it a lil easier T_T
Ian says:
can we be firends or nothing?
Alexis says:
I dont wanna break up though
Ian says:
wth
Ian says:
even knowing i rather be with another girl you wont break up?..
Alexis says:
Yea..
Ian says:
so we will?
Alexis says:
No we will not break up.
Ian says:
then i'll just cheat on you T.T
Ian says:
so wth..
Alexis says:
Yep, just like you deleted me from friends list and left guild.
Ian says:
?
Alexis says:
Ingame.
Ian says:
meaning? i dont get what the point of saying that was.
Alexis says:
No point.
Alexis says:
i just know how i feel.
Ian says:
?
Ian says:
so we can break up now? or i mean idc about much else here.
Alexis says:
I cant accept what you say, that you cheat on me and are going to. i don't believe it. I love you too much and we're not breaking up. I find it a little impossible to cheat on me when you're almost always with me.
Alexis says:
You're the only thing I get up in the morning for, and im happy when im with you.
Ian says:
wow ok..
Ian says:
then let me walk all over you idc.
Ian says:
we can stay toghter.
Ian says:
its a sweet deal for me that way.
Alexis says:
Yea and hows that?
Alexis says:
That i know this isnt true.
Alexis says:
That I know you're doing it so "ill be happy"
Ian says:
its like your lletting me be iwth you and another girl at the same time.
Alexis says:
You fucking think i want you to>
Ian says:
your letting me.
Ian says:
didnt say you wanted it
Alexis says:
I asked you a question earlier and you avoided it.
Ian says:
whats that??
Alexis says:
Whats so much better about batty since you insist.
Ian says:
shes fun again.
Alexis says:
Dont believe it.
Ian says:
ok lmao.
Alexis says:
I know one thing.
Alexis says:
You are, readding me to friends list, and you are rejoining guild.
Ian says:
k
Ian says:
w.e
Alexis says:
No w.e
Alexis says:
You got stuff to explain and you are rejoining.
Ian says:
what do i need to explaain?
Alexis says:
A lot.
Ian says:
lol if your busy ill go.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
Im not busy im crying.
Ian says:
wth i didnt want to make you cry i wanted to make you break up wiht me.
Alexis says:
Still not going to happen.
Ian says:
wtf..
Alexis says:
Yea im weird.
Alexis says:
You explain to me why everytime you said you were gonna come out it was delayed?
Ian says:
because stuff came up? T_T
Alexis says:
Even more reasont o believe you cheated on me.
Alexis says:
not*
Ian says:
huh?...
Alexis says:
You said you cheated on me with batty, i dont believe it and you just gave me more reason why.
Ian says:
then why ask why i havent came yet?
Ian says:
i mean makes no sense
Alexis says:
Just curious.
Ian says:
how is that relevant?
Alexis says:
I dont know.
Alexis says:
Maybe because if "batty" is more "fun" then you wouldnt come at all.
Ian says:
huh?
Ian says:
im so fucking lost
Alexis says:
I guess i dont make sense cause im crying.
Alexis says:
You said you cheated on me with batty, which means you wouldn't want to come see me you'd want to see her.
Ian says:
so you finally believe me
Alexis says:
No i dont.
Ian says:
then huh?
Alexis says:
I know what I see and I know what I hear and I know that is not true.
Ian says:
well atleast now i know you think im a flake.
Alexis says:
Dont understand the word "Flake"
Ian says:
what you hear?
Alexis says:
I've heard nothing.
Ian says:
meaning why did you ask why i ahvent made it our yet?
Alexis says:
Was curious.
Ian says:
so randomly
Ian says:
but wht
Ian says:
why
Alexis says:
Came to thought so i asked..?
Ian says:
meh i dont understand still
Ian says:
sorry
Alexis says:
I was just thinking about things and it came up. I was wondering thats all..
Ian says:
meaning your upset about it
Alexis says:
No.
Ian says:
yeah.
Alexis says:
If I was upset i'd tell you.
Ian says:
the way you said it so suddnely and the way you staed it leads me to believe otherwise.
Alexis says:
What im upset about is you trying to get me to break up with you when I know you didn't do anything -_-
Ian says:
well now im upset cause i know you are.
Ian says:
i know you well.
Ian says:
when you ask ? like that somehting is wrong.
Alexis says:
Nothing is wrong.
Alexis says:
I told you what was wrong.
Ian says:
then why did you ask so suddenyl, when it had nothing to do with the situation, i just told you i liked another girl.
Ian says:
and thats all on your mind.
Ian says:
just makes no sense
Alexis says:
Sorry just dont believe you like another girl.
Ian says:
now you dont even answer my ?
Alexis says:
I asked it because i was curious
Alexis says:
I thought maybe because you liked another girl that would mean you didnt want to come out.
Alexis says:
But i dont think you like another girl so idk
Ian says:
kk..
Ian says:
you thought i was lying to you T_T
Ian says:
and now your busy
Alexis says:
No
Ian says:
so go talk to whoever,
Alexis says:
Im crying my fucking eyes out?
Alexis says:
Im not talking to anyone else ffs
Alexis says:
You know what im thinking of doing?
Alexis says:
But I will not let myself do?
Ian says:
what ?
Alexis says:
taking a knife and fucking slashing my wrists.
Ian says:
you fucking better not ive been lying sorry..
Ian says:
i jsut
Ian says:
want you to be wiht someone else
Ian says:
not me.
Ian says:
please
Ian says:
just end it.
Alexis says:
I dont want ot be with anyone else you dont understand that
Ian says:
please
Alexis says:
Begging wont work.
Ian says:
break up with me.
Ian says:
then ill keep being just like this till you hate me.
Alexis says:
Cant hate someone you love and see perfectly.
Ian says:
how the fawk did you know i was just trying to get you to break up with me?
Alexis says:
Took a guess because I know you better than you think i do.
Ian says:
meh i still made you cry.
Ian says:
i do everyhting wrong.
Alexis says:
No you stop that
Ian says:
you creid no?
Alexis says:
A lot of reasons I cry.
Ian says:
so you still did, and this time the reasons are me and my stupid shyt.
Alexis says:
Nope.
Alexis says:
Just thought about the past and it got me to cry.
Ian says:
past?
Alexis says:
Everything when I was younger.
Ian says:
why?
Ian says:
think of that now?
Alexis says:
I dont know I just did.
Alexis says:
And then I wonder why I dont have a good memory.
Ian says:
ok?..
Ian says:
i let you go.
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
Sorry ill just stop thinking.
Ian says:
wanna go to bed,
Alexis says:
Not really.
Alexis says:
Sometimes I just I get fucking weird and think of the past for no reason >.
Ian says:
no..
Ian says:
i meant
Ian says:
i want to go to bed.
Alexis says:
Why?
Ian says:
idk
Alexis says:
Then no reason you should go to bed.
Ian says:
i failed at getting oyu to hate me.
Alexis says:
Trying will never work. I know you too well.
Ian says:
how can you not be upset at me now?
Alexis says:
Because I know it wasn't true right from the start. I know better than that and im just not upset with you.
Ian says:
dunno
Alexis says:
The more I think the more im tempted to use a knife now. I promised you and myself I wouldn't.
Ian says:
what baby?
Alexis says:
Wouldnt ever harm myself.
Ian says:
why do you want to i mean..
Alexis says:
Things of the past getting to me and making me sad when im happy.
Ian says:
see cause i suck.
Alexis says:
No, you make me happy and it doesn't even happen until today.
Alexis says:
Before I was with you it would happen every day.
Alexis says:
Every fucking wakeing moment -_-
Ian says:
see i pushed oyu to it though, man im an idiot..
Ian says:
i go
Alexis says:
No
Alexis says:
Stop that please
Ian says:
someone else makin g yuou calm
Alexis says:
Im not talking to anyone else
Alexis says:
Im sitting here looking at my hands when I dont see your comments or trying to put into words that wont be like "SLAKJSLKDJALSKD"
Ian says:
whats wrong with you baby?
Alexis says:
For one, you're not an idiot. For two, I pushed my self to think about that shit.
Alexis says:
My brain is all fucked because i cryed because i thought of the stupid shit my parents and grandparents did to me.
Ian says:
tell me? :/
Ian says:
k..
Alexis says:
Dear..
Alexis says:
Its a lot of shit.
Alexis says:
And i've told you what I could as i rememebred but now I remember a whole lot.
Ian says:
then talk to me about it?
Ian says:
ffs
Alexis says:
Dear.
Ian says:
ill let you go do what your doing or whoever
Alexis says:
Wtf no
Alexis says:
Jesus christ
Alexis says:
im not talking to anyone else
Alexis says:
im sitting here trying to put it into words that aren't just jibberish and actually make more sense than what i keep almost putting
Alexis says:
Would you fucking be so easy and relaxed knowing as a child the same grandparents who bought you glasses so you can see, would come out when you were like 6 or some shit. And you'd be playing on this pretty rad playset or w/e it was to me back then. And they'd chase me through it and get me to the point i cry and scream cause I dont want to go with them and my grandmother here and grandfather
Alexis says:
whose dead could do nothing? And they'd drag me the fuck to their car and make me go with them. And for so fucking long I used to run and hide everytime ANYONE show'd up.
Ian says:
i dont understand babe...
Ian says:
i suck
Ian says:
alot :/
Alexis says:
No you dont suck
Alexis says:
They basically every so called family member has made me scared of something.
Alexis says:
And made me fucking cry and all this stupid shit that should have never happened.
Ian says:
what shyt?
Alexis says:
Just like leaving me in a bar when i was an infant for three days
Alexis says:
No food or anything
Ian says:
why dont you tell me instead of bieng so vauge if not i wont understand, sorry im stupid.
Ian says:
just the way i am.
Alexis says:
You're not stupid im trying to be specific
Alexis says:
I dont fucking remember it but everyone tells me my mom after she had me sometime. She took m e around to bars.
Alexis says:
Bars/taverns/w.e.
Alexis says:
Anyways one time she got high and shit and just left me there, alone, three days in a bar. And everyone was all looking for me and ends up 15 minutes after my dad found me, there was a drug bust.
Alexis says:
Just..I know i make no sense but im trying.
Ian says:
i suck
Alexis says:
No you dont suck.
Ian says:
i have no clue what to say..
Alexis says:
Its just
Alexis says:
Things like i've tryed to tell you has happened every time up until i was like 12 when my grandmother got custody and then it changed into new things such as punishment=spanking with a belt.
Ian says:
your fine now though :/
Ian says:
my past has suck a way bigger dick then your and i got over it.
Alexis says:
I know.
Ian says:
cause i have you and thats all i need.
Ian says:
i cant change your past but i want to make everything in the future perfect and help you get over all the pain in the past.
Ian says:
im really sorry about everything today. i was way out of line wiht oyu and had no right, but i feel like im hurting you all the time.
Ian says:
i only want you to be happy. so i thought that was best, and all i ddi was amke things worse.
Ian says:
and probs just lost a little of everything a had with you.
Ian says:
i always said id never do anything to hurt you but today i aim to hurt you to get you to break up wiht me.
Ian says:
im just no good for you.
Ian says:
sorry i meade the wrong choice.
Ian says:
like always.
Alexis says:
Stop
Ian says:
its just
Ian says:
hard to feel like i deserve you
Ian says:
when your the best girl i ever met and known in my whole life/
Ian says:
but yet.
Ian says:
i always seem to do some stupid shyt.
Ian says:
i dont deserve your love,
Ian says:
your love is the wamrest most happy feeling i ever had, and i dont return that feeling.
Ian says:
i always have some stupid problem
Ian says:
always
Ian says:
every damn day
Ian says:
im so selfish
Ian says:
thats why i did what i did.
Alexis says:
My past hasn't came up once until now that i've been with you. Nor have I had suicidial thoughts since i've been with you. I really try to forget my past because the present and future is perfect. Thing is, you haven't done stupid shit. But..you dont always have some stupid problem, you deserve my love and so much damn more. ._.
Ian says:
even though it dosent make it right, atleast you know why now.
Ian says:
i guess. we should just be friends though.
Alexis says:
No.
Alexis says:
First, we're not ever breaking up. Second, dont try it again.
Ian says:
wow
Ian says:
brb
Ian says:
sorry
Alexis says:
:/
Ian says:
i wont take long ppl need to stfu so i can talk to you.
Alexis says:
Its okay m'love, I love you.
Ian says:
sorry all this shyt around house makes me nervous then i dont know what to say cause i freeze up
Ian says:
brb.
Alexis says:
Dont be sorry, just try and take care of it, i love you.
Ian says:
love you..
Alexis says:
wb m'love
Alexis says:
Its just, you haven't lost any of me.
Ian says:
i think i have
Alexis says:
I know you haven't.
Ian says:
then why do i feel like i hurt you alot today?
Ian says:
cause
Ian says:
i know i did.
Alexis says:
Thing is you didn't.
Ian says:
i think so though so yeah..
Alexis says:
I don't know im weird but..you didn't.
Ian says:
see
Ian says:
you know
Ian says:
that alomst any other person would have been
Ian says:
so
Ian says:
yeah i did do wrong.
Alexis says:
But the fact is
Alexis says:
You didn't hurt me or lose any pieces fo me.
Alexis says:
of*
Ian says:
i was still stupid can we atleast aggre on that much?> T_T
Alexis says:
No cause you weren't stupid D:
Ian says:
yes i was..
Ian says:
wtf
Alexis says:
You just made a wrong choice.
Ian says:
a stupid one too.
Ian says:
baby
Ian says:
you mean the world to me T_T so dont tell me it wasnt stupid cause it was.
Alexis says:
Mmm fine D: ill admit this one time it was a stupid thing to do. But you didn't hurt me nor did you lose any pieces of me.
Ian says:
hard to beleiev.
Alexis says:
Hard to believe or not, its true.
Ian says:
meh w.e
Alexis says:
Yea use w.e. I try to tell you the truth and you wont seem to accept it.
Ian says:
cause its so hard to believe?
Alexis says:
It seems hard to believe that im so perfect but i accept it
Ian says:
i told you i wasnt happy anymore with us ffs.
Ian says:
how is that ok?
Alexis says:
Because you were just saying it so i would break up with you.
Ian says:
and that makes it right how??
Alexis says:
Its not right, it was stupid to do.
Alexis says:
But the fact is im not hurt nor have you lost any pieces of me.
Ian says:
see so you admit i hurt you finally.
Ian says:
no -.-
Ian says:
why wont you admit it? :/
Alexis says:
If you hurt me i'd still be crying instead of being happy.
Alexis says:
And i wont admit it cause its not true. I know im stubborn as an ox ;p
Ian says:
meh..
Ian says:
i cant and wont forgive myslef for being so stupid.
Ian says:
and now i know your upset i ahvetn came to see you yet too.
Ian says:
hard not to feel like shyt atm.
Alexis says:
:/ Did i not explain myself well enough?
Alexis says:
Im not upset.
Ian says:
not my fault im not 18 D:
Alexis says:
Not my fault im not 18 either xD
Ian says:
you make me feel so bad for not being with you when i cant control it.
Alexis says:
I dont want you to feel bad, I understand why you cant come yet. And i'm not upset. I try to overthink ever thing and I give off the wrong impression
Ian says:
no
Ian says:
the way you asked it so suddenyl with everyhting else going on made me know your upset about it.
Alexis says:
Im not upset though :/
Ian says:
i ran out of stones talking to you though D:
Alexis says:
Sorry
Ian says:
even making shiny stuff wont make me feel better D:
Alexis says:
Then this will? ;3
Alexis says:
-kisses-Mine <3
Ian says:
nah
Alexis says:
Mmm dear
Ian says:
you dont get how hard i am on myself every time i do somehting like this i never forget or forgive.
Alexis says:
No..I know how hard on yourself that you are. I dont want you to be but I cant change it nor do i want it to change. You're perfect the way you are.
Ian says:
no im not.
Alexis says:
Yea you are in my eyes.
Ian says:
k :/
Ian says:
then
Alexis says:
Dear I love you for who you are you know that
Ian says:
i perfectly made you cry feel unwanted and hurt?
Ian says:
and ffs
Alexis says:
ffs?
Ian says:
i made you feel like i wanted another girl more then you.
Ian says:
there is no other girl for me.
Ian says:
i dont even notice other girls anymore.
Ian says:
just wow..
Alexis says:
Dear
Ian says:
the more i think abotu it the more i wish i would just die,
Alexis says:
No D;
Alexis says:
Dear
Alexis says:
I didn't cry because of you. I explained why I cryed. If I felt hurt i'd explain to you as best as i could why. And unwanted i never feel that.
Alexis says:
That is why im stubborn I know you well enough that I knew you didn't want another girl.
Ian says:
grr yo dont get it.
Ian says:
it hurts alot that i said the things i said, your my everything. and id die if to protect you.
Ian says:
and yet i let myself do things to hurt you.
Ian says:
i just feel so unworthy of you now. i thogut i was doing the right thing.
Ian says:
but al i did was make thigns worse.
Ian says:
dont know how i ever got the stupid idea to do what i did in the first place, but all i can say is sorry.
Ian says:
and
Ian says:
sorry isnt good enough.
Alexis says:
But you should know better than that.
Alexis says:
I know what I feel and I know what I think and and hurt.
Alexis says:
I dont hurt, i dont feel bad, thoughts that I wanted to slash my wrists have left. Why? Because of you. You're everything to me and I know you better than that and thats why it didn't hurt me when all the stupid shit went on. I just kept trying and getting you to stop doing things that you thought was the best when it wasnt.
Ian says:
but i know im not best for you.
Ian says:
i know what im cpable of
Ian says:
i know
Ian says:
that every damn day
Ian says:
for the past week ive made both morning and night hellish or atleast uncomfortable with my stupid shyt.
Ian says:
so yeah it all got to me when i was being a pr!ck for no reason this morning.
Ian says:
then
Ian says:
i realized ill neevr stop.
Ian says:
so i did what i thought was ebst for you.
Alexis says:
You dont see it do you m'dear?
Ian says:
maybe if your not with me you wont have to deal with my childish games.
Ian says:
and
Ian says:
im not playing games, but what else could they be ffs?
Ian says:
i should be here for you with a smile on my face every moment of every day.
Ian says:
and to be honest i get upset over nothign all the time.
Alexis says:
Dear
Ian says:
you deserve so much better. like when i get told you've been doing this or that or w.e
Ian says:
i know its not true becuase of who its coming form (twinks guy friend) but it still makes me think of how it would feel, i lost girls that have almost killed me emotionly, and i never even came close to lovin them they wya i love you.
Ian says:
and all those feeligns make me scared.
Ian says:
so ill be a man and admit it.
Ian says:
i dont have trust issues with you. im scared of my own downfall, and i use the bad feelings an excuse to reassure myself your mine at your expense
Ian says:
see im no good.
Ian says:
meaning.
Ian says:
when im told this shyt.
Ian says:
its not that i dont belieev you.
Ian says:
i get the feelig in my heart of what it would be like to lose you and get scared. then i push you away cause i dont want to be hurt.
Ian says:
and
Ian says:
that in turn hurts you.
Ian says:
atleast now you know the way i am i guess.
Alexis says:
Dear..
Alexis says:
You dont get it
Ian says:
guess not, but i wanted you to know its not that i dont trust you. i dont trust myself.
Ian says:
i dont
Ian says:
trust myself to be good enough to keep the girl that makes my world spin, your my heart and my soul.
Ian says:
love you alot D:
Alexis says:
I knew all of this far before you explained it to me, in my heart. I accept you as you are, and see you as perfect as you are. I know I have a lot of flaws for example, but you accept them. Dont you? You also know I love you, a lot.
Ian says:
mm
Ian says:
i wasnt trying to make excuses
Ian says:
i was trying to make you understand.
Ian says:
i fail guess.
Alexis says:
I never said you were making excuses.
Alexis says:
I understood this a long time ago before you tryed to explain.
Alexis says:
But the fact is you explained exactly as I knew it my heart.
Alexis says:
So you do not fail.
Ian says:
love oyu :/
Alexis says:
I love you a lot m'love
Ian says:
but i feel like im losing you with al my shyt.
Alexis says:
Honestly? You're not loseing me.
Ian says:
guess
Alexis says:
I know so and you should know this
Ian says:
-sigh-
Alexis says:
I know im stuborn and i know i suck xD
Ian says:
no...
Alexis says:
The point is im telling you as best as I can everything I feel and know
Alexis says:
And if I dont explain it well enough i'd rather know so I can try again.
Ian says:
mm
Ian says:
i feel like im losing you i dunno.
Ian says:
like umm
Ian says:
today has hurt our bond alot.
Alexis says:
Dear. You are not loseing me, I promise you that. Only thing that has happened today was stupid things that shouldn't have happened.
Alexis says:
But you know what they did instead
Alexis says:
?*
Alexis says:
Mmm..instead atleast to me, it brought us closer, did it not>
Ian says:
?
Ian says:
i just dont get it is all..
Ian says:
sometimes i dont nkow what to say back and i feel stupid :/
Alexis says:
Dont feel stupid.
Alexis says:
I know i dont make perfect sense all the time xD
Alexis says:
I try to make sense, thats why I try to word it in a way that seems to make sense to me.
Alexis says:
And thats why I ask if you dont understand to just say you dont and ill try again until you do understand.
Ian says:
i feel closer to you like we kinda umm
Ian says:
i guess everythign we get through only makes us stronger, but it was more then that. i finally feel like im doing ok again i guess is the only way i can think to say it :/
Ian says:
gawd i suck with my own words and typing them..
Alexis says:
No you dont suck and you dont suck at typing either.
Alexis says:
You do a much better job at explaining things to me than I ever can.
Ian says:
:/
Alexis says:
Ffs i hate shes talking to me and telling me to do things when I jsut want to be with you
Alexis says:
Ill brb so she just shuts up. I love you dear <3333
Ian says:
me too but i gotta do a couple thing or ill get my shyt taken from me T_T
Alexis says:
Then do them while I try to put the trash out? xD
Ian says:
been too busy and not carin cause i wanted to make eveyrhting right.
Ian says:
i was being an idiot and im so sorry.
Alexis says:
No, no more sorrys.
Ian says:
uhhhh yeah im sorry -.-
Alexis says:
I know that, but did I not say I wasnt hurt or anything?
Ian says:
i could lost the best thing that ever happened to me today, your so special to me baby. i want to protect you from times like this, not to be the on the bring them to you D:
Alexis says:
You know or atleast should know me well enough that no matter what happens I wont let us break up. Not through thick and not through thin.
Alexis says:
Its just
Alexis says:
I know how much we mean to each other. And I know if I want to do something and my grandmother says no. There will be another fight and I will win those. Last time she told me she couldnt do anything it ended up her saying sorry and that I could do whatever I wanted as long as she knew where I was.
Ian says:
i want a hug D:
Alexis says:
I want to give joo a hug :3
Ian says:
this sucks dick, why is it that the girl of my dreams has to be so damn far, i cant stop crying just i wana be with you
Alexis says:
But its not so bad, please dont cry. You'll be with me soon and ill give you all the hugs you want :3.
Alexis says:
Mmm I know you're upset..and theres not much I can do to calm you down and it makes me feel bad. But you should go and do the things they asked so you dont get things taken away. So you can relax when its done and they'll be like "K im a ho and ill gtfo now."
Ian says:
k D:
Alexis says:
And ill hurry and do mine and then we'll have forever and ever to be together :3
Ian says:
ill be gone about 30 min babe..
Alexis says:
Its alright dear I have a lot of things to do but im not gonna do them all just a few of them
Ian says:
love you :3
Alexis says:
I love you a lot m'love :3
Ian says:
i'll brb too <3
Alexis says:
Kk m'love <3333333 see you in a bit ^^ brb
Ian says:
love you alot D:
Alexis says:
Love you lots <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 brb though :3