The Hive Mind's [elite] [raiding] [crew] (a pair of level 7 and 8 mortals, and a level 1 mortal with search) decide to hit Newbie's Help to educate them. Some of you may have already known about this crack team of raiders, as they hit the EOG and taunted them a bit, before taking mercy on them, and generously leaving behind some resources for the Gangstas to use to replenish their depleted stock. Regardless, the Hive Mind was shocked, simply shocked, to find what lay behind the supposedly benevolent doors of Newbies Help.
The following is a transcript of the events that befell our bewildered raiders when they got through the Newbies Help ward.
# Gatecrasher said, "...WHERE THE HELL ARE THE NEWBIES?"
# René Magritte said, "Ceci n'est pas une raid!"
# René Magritte said, "We came to give the newbies stuff... what an anticlimax"
# Gatecrasher said, "if this was a real raid you'd be dead :<"
# Gatecrasher said, "maybe."
# Gatecrasher said, "this is how real newbies raid dammit :<"
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, "I actually came to offer my assistance, but it appears there isn't anyone to assist"
# René Magritte gave Small Bottle of Gunpowder to No One of Importance. (17,47 House (Southton) : Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:19:42 +0000)
# René Magritte gave Rifle Magazine to No One of Importance. (17,47 House (Southton) : Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:19:51 +0000)
# Gatecrasher said, "I see no newbies from your faction, so in lieu of this, I'll give you some destroyed daggers to give to them when they come home."
# Gatecrasher gave Dagger (destroyed) to No One of Importance.
# Gatecrasher gave Dagger (broken) to No One of Importance.
# René Magritte said, "Pretend to be a newbie... It'll make us feel better"
# Gatecrasher gave Batch of Mushrooms to No One of Importance.
# Gatecrasher said, "and a mushroom. For good luck."
# Gatecrasher said, "ooh. Yeah pretend to be a member of this faction. Better yet, if you could just... temporarily join them, so I could give you something..."
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "So, have you thought of renaming yourself to "Help! where are the newbies?""
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Or possibly "What newbies? Help!"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Or maybe "Newbies, help us""
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Given that you don't have a leg to stand on, here have a crutch"
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, "help how do I join the Hive Mind? is that a sort of newbie ish question you are looking for?"
# Gatecrasher said, "how 'bout "HELP my scheme of pretending to help nonexistent newbies has been discovered" :<"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "No inventory space? I'll just have to hit you with it to get the feeling across."
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "How did that feel, eh?"
# Sabin Rene Figaro pretends to try and fix a knife without repair item "why is it still worn?"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "That's the sound of harsh reality in handy supplementary appendage form"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Sabin, stop suplexing that knife"
# Gatecrasher said, "the pointy end does NOT go that way :("
# Sabin Rene Figaro looks down in shame "sorry"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Martial arts are not the solution to all of life's problems"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky strikes a heroic teaching pose
# René Magritte gave Quiver of Arrows to No One of Importance. (17,47 House (Southton) : Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:26:33 +0000)
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, "really? but it helps in so many situations!"
# Sabin Rene Figaro looks in awe at the heroic teacher pose
# Gatecrasher said, "truly, it is a sad day in the nexus, when a self proclaimed philanthropist is surpassed in teaching by a mere mortal. Also, I'm out of AP so I'm going to go eat a grilled chese sandwich."
# Vic Vega has maxed out!
# René Magritte said, "Maybe the purpose of our raid should have been to come in here and pretend to be newbies"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Excellent idea!"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky dons a false beard and a pair of dark glasses
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "So, zis nexus ov vitch you speek"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "It be very dangerous, yah?"
# Sabin Rene Figaro has requested an invitation to join The Hive Mind. You may view and read your mail by clicking "Faction Mail," above.
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Viz ze APs and ze MPs and ze RPs and suchlike"
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, ".me looks at a pistol "which end do the bullets ome out?""
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, "whats this thing called MO?"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky removes the beard and glasses and resumes the heroic teacher pose
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Sabin! you must learn this through experimentation"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Point the pistol in one direction, fire it and then try the other way afterwards"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "And I think Mo is one of the waitresses down at the Raw Style"
# Sabin Rene Figaro points the gun towards him and looks down the barrel "ok ill just pull this cresent shaped thing" he pulls the trigger and there is a click sound " ooh nothing happened, does this thing need ammo or something?"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "I'd try the knife again, we'll save pistols for another lesson"
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, "where is the raw style is that a restaurant? the only restaurant I've seen so far is a place called captain cluckys, ran into a really hot bartender the other day, was that Mo?"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Possibly, I'm sort of hazy on these things"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "Best to try out that knife next time you see her, though"
# Sabin Rene Figaro said, "ok but I sittl have problems with actually hitting people with my knife, I find flailing my arms wildly in their general direction works better, I'm pretty tired now I guess the advocate won't mind me sleeping here"
# Your faction has a new member, Sabin Rene Figaro.
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "I think it might hurt his newbie helping credentials still further if he killed you"
# Nikolai Invanovich Lobachevsky said, "And they're already looking fairly shady"
# Sabin Rene Figaro snores
Yes. As you can see, though No One of Importance claims to be a big hearted, benign, benevolent benefactor, who beatifically, beneficently bestows boon and bounty upon those of broken and bloody build, brought about by the beasts of the nexus, he is, in fact, no more than a bamboozling, bluffing, blackmailing bastard, a braggadocio, full of bravado and bullshit, a bully, a blackguard always bragging, though his beliefs are baloney, bilking us of our hard earned bills.
other unused B words!
Bad
a bum
beat him
burn him
apply a brick to his head
beggars
bad
baldfaced
buffoon
the birds and the bees
not the bourgeois
Blahblah something about embezzeling tax funds and oh the humanity
somethingsomething As you can see, there are no newbies here. He takes our donations, pleads for aid, and at the end of it all...HE KEEPS IT ALL FOR HIMSELF.
All the funds he appropriated for his advertising campaign. Yes, the ads splashed around the nexus. Where did those funds come from? Where did they go? INTO HIS POCKET.
someone finish this D: