....

Martin
i think i have the right to tell you my last thought's.

I have told you all my stories, my past, my fears, my life, and my past frights with men/guys,
I have Shared stories with you, i have never told anyone, but yet all i tried too make out of this was a friendship, but yet you didn't want to be apart of that, because the thought's of me, have left your mind, and your heart also, i was not "obsessive" over you martin, i was trying to make a friendship, i wanted to know how you were, if your ok, how life is treating you, and im sorry if i did that a bit to often, but what else can i do, i looked at you as a friend, but you didn't want that and yet you never told me that to begin with, i was there for you  when Ashley hurt you, you talked to me about it, and i was there for you ever second, even though i didn't know you personally but i knew i didn't have too, because your were a good person, and i knew we could have a good friendship, i felt comfertable talking to you about, my personal life, about my fears, and you helped me and guided me threw them, and get over them threw time, and do you know why i would want to make such a friendship with you? because your not like the other guys, you liked me for who i was, and respected that, but now i know that , it wouldn't last long, that it was just a "thing" martin im not over exagerating, but you helped me gain my trust for men, and you also helped me lose it in such time, you may not have though you hurt me, but you did, you were that person that i wanted to be close to, have a goodfriendship with , be priceless, but you didnt want that and you didnt warn me, you just thought blocking me out of your life would make everything better?
Which it didn't make anything better, I wrote you a song, i put words you said to me in it, the truth and, the distance, but that wasn't good enough in case you thought of it as an "obsession" you had my heart and you took care of it for a while, but than you got sick of it, because it felt for you, because i cared for you, you taught me that " i love you " are just three words, with no meaning anymore, i said those words to you, not because it was just a feeling because it was a feeling i have never felt before, never explored never experienced and when i said them, it felt like they were the perfect word's to say to you, and you appreciated them for a while, but than what? it meant nothing after words, of course i knew everything would change threw time, Martin i wasnt obsessed i cared for you, and i made you smile when i was with you, and the tears that fell down my face were, because we just too young to understand, you said words to me . and you dont know the meaning, you made me feel like, you probably didn't think i would feel, but you did martin, and it wasn't me, you said things to me that i wouldn't think someone would say to me at this age, i did something to you that i shouldn't have,
I have feeling's martin but apparently too you they meant nothing to you, and i lost feeling's for you just what you wanted, are you happy, ive cried over you so many times, now i know you werent worth i tears. your a good person martin, but now what i think of you is nothing, you sure have your moments, but im done with this, just me thinking about you before, would end up sad, and i would want things to work, but its not going to, and i wasn't good enough for you, but theres someone who i know makes me feel good, and he makes me feel great about myself , and i know he wouldn't abandon my heart like you did, but yet i have no trust for him, because i cant,
because of you, look at this song one more time listen to the lyrics one more time read them over, and maybe you can feel the passion i felt


- baby you my better half your the one that makes me laugh, even thought it talk a while, your the one that makes me smile, And i cant help but want you! and i cant help but need you ! and i cant help but fall for you and i cant help but ..love you,

i know that we live in two different worlds but im willing to wait for you,

and i know that the distance is harsh but ill always be here for you,

and i know this might not work but remember that this is for you,

- baby your my better half, your the one that makes me laugh, even though it takes a while your the one that makes me smile, and i can't help but want you, and i cant help but need you, and i cant hel[ but fall for you, and i cant help but love you,

remember when we had our laughs, when we stared into eachothers eyes,

we both promised each other that between there would be no lies,

when i was with you everything was ' all right ' the tears running down my face are the only things i wanna fight,

- Baby your my better half your the one that makes me laugh, even though it takes a while, your the one that makes me smile, and i cant help but want you, and i cant help but need you !. and i cant help but fall for you, and i cant help but ... love you,

Baby your the only one, baby your my number one,

i hate that the passion is gone, but the love is still there,

I guess we have to go our seperate ways, but i hope you will always remember , what i will never forget,

- Baby your my better half, your the one that makes me laugh, even though it takes a while, your the one that makes me smile, and i cant help but want you, and i cant help but need you, and i cant help but fall for you, and i cant help....but...love you.


Those werent just words, they were from my heart, but i know that song from the top of my heart, and im trying to forget it, i used time and thought to write this for you, it made me feel better, but it went to loss because your probably forgot about it, and earased it from your mind, like you erased me from your mind,

But im going to do the same, because i relized you werent worth my tears yet werent worth my thoughts, my pain the heartbreak,"

Please dont e-mail me back, because i dont want to cry anymore, i dont want you to be apart of my life, you have caused enough grief for me,
and i think i have caused enough for you,

Those are my last words to you, You might care or might not, but i dont care anymore,