Disgust, and the tangled mess of reasoning which follows closely behind. Somehow, it all ties into my current train of thought. The effects it has to let life just happen to you, indiscriminately. To be curious, as to how it might happen that ones life be led in such a manner. One which consists entirely of carefully chosen paths. Acting in a manner pertaining to and/or as a direct result of those very choices. To only, end up just cruising a while, to later, themselves find their lives in such disarray. An unfulfilling, mere shadow of what they had planned.
Not individually, but on a national and global scale.
-- Blindly led to conclusions.. standardized choices.. be all that you can be, be whatever you want to be.
From birth, we're herded into schools. Demoralized, stripped of social and even gender identity. A new standard is born. The first of many to come. So subtly, procedure is dictated. These same practices applied all aspects of human interaction.
In Geometry, I was taught quadtratic equation. Not because of its implications on modern man. Nor was there mention of its relevence to my own existance.. much less was I taught how it might even be applicable, in even a parallel or altered reality. But, that if I didnt memorize it. I'd fail the test. I was discouraged to understand and encouraged to "memorize the damn equation". Why would you wish to learn? When you're never permitted to walk on fresh ground. To possess the ability, rather, the knowledge, to pass standardized tests. To be only qualified to perform meanial, repetetious tasks. Only to come to a predestined conclusion. To relive anothers reality as a... consequence.
they don't even try to hide it anymore. Holland turned its educational system upside down in... 2002? Admitted outright they needed more laborers and less thinkers. Barred teachers from teaching, just let them supervise as the students self-taught, made the tests harder and the pass marks higher. Failure was the goal.
Instead of valuing art. Appreciating personal communication. how do you do it? Smalltalk, polite chatting to strangers regarding the weather, fake smiles and feigned interest. I understand it to some extent. How the system can numb people to original thought. But, even those who turn to philosophy? You're no philosopher unless you quote another philosopher. Original thought is a mortal sin.
The golden fucking proportion.
-- repetetious task, inevitably become mindless ones.. regardless of complexity
-- irrelevence to, and ignoring mankinds instinct & urge, to further itself.. we've the most brilliant, educated people today that there ever were.. no philosiphers, theorists... no abstract advancement that has any direct implications on the people
-- ALL importance is lost.. and procedure is dictated.
-- Note to self! No mention, much less attack on religion.. people cease to listen when ya do that.
So, where does this defeatism mentality begin? Schools? Common american parenting practices? Possibly the very morals and values passed from parent to offspring? Could we blame capitalism itself? Consumerism? The intermingling of the two? It certainly includes all of these things. But, for purposes of analyzation. It needs to be much broader than that, much more.. personal.
-- Almost a revolutionary defeatism, as its self sustaining.. protects that which is most destructive.
-- a woman pushing her child down the street in a buggy, iPod in one ear, bluetooth in the other, talking to her friend while her child looks up confused, under the impression it is being talked to.
for those who can afford it. you'd think the majority of the poor would go "hey, hold on, maybe this isn't all it's cracked up to be" at some point. this woman will pay taxes and she will go to church and she will ignore her family and her children will pray to both money and jesus.. neither of which were ever listening
seriously, you would think that. instead it has some sort of strangle hold on them. instead they will strive toward this disconnect. toward the car or the iphone.
--- it's truly remarkable how close we can all be and yet how far we honestly all are. there's so much glass between everybody. you try to get close to anyone, and it's cold, and uncomfortable..
.. again a standard interaction.. a basis for control.. takes years to emerge from, and when ya do.. its terrify, cuz its no longer a standard as ya used to
---------------------
7/28/07
- 300 spartans running forward, to die.. 10,000 persians running away to live..
To say my current train of thought, might run entirely out of control. Beyond that, of the collectives scope of comprehension. Would this be arrogance? not at all. Realism. Would my unwillingness to face the harshest of winters, in my underwear be cowardess? Not at all, realism. That would just be stupid, right? so many similar things are mangled, to a point that they are now, unrecognizable.. I cant help but feeel, I truely do stand alone here. in the sense that, I do truely embrace all around me. I dont value myself, as much as i value my morals. my conviction, my experience.
I cant help but feel a deep disgust for the simplicity of common socialist, comsumerist mentality.
some stand out, actively.. portray themselves as noncomformists, to be set apart from the masses.. But, only in return for the acceptance of the nonconformist groups themselves. when was focus shifted from moral & personal conviction, strength.. to comsumeristic needs, the social status they provide.. when was importance lost, and a disconnect sought as a replacment.
to say say even love, has become little more than abstract notion. To seek a mates as companions in life, as opposed to in emotion. To look to them for consolation, not inspiration. To provide material as substition for security. Does no one appreciate the union? The union of the proverbial.. soul..
everything is taken in the light it is presented. it is insulting to look deeper, as it might imply one wishes for more. interaction is little more than harmless, or held, only on terms, that will forever remain harmless. For fear? In its own way I'm sure. For fear, of not what could be.. but, what is inevitable. This defeatist mentality runs deep in americans. To admit defeat, before making an effort. To fear drawing close to another, because its cold and uncomfortable.
They are purely social implications of.. well, yes society. People often forget, society does dictate taboo. Society dictates what we embrace, and what we consider a source of disgust. What is accepted, and what is unacceptable in terms of behavior. And, behaviors dictate the levels of our interaction, obviously. How are these links, so apparent.. yet, continually overlooked? it's certainly to do with thought processes, social, religious & moral limits on thought itself. It's wrong to question your god, your government.. even, the experts.
In Geometry, I was taught quadtratic equation. Not because of its implications on modern man. Nor was there mention of its relevence to my own existance.. much less was I taught how it might be applicable in even a parallel or altered reality. But, that if I didnt memorize it. I'd fail the test. I was discouraged to understand and encouraged to "memorize the damn equation". Why would you wish to learn? When you're never permitted to walk on fresh ground. To possess only the ability, rather, the knowledge, to pass standardized tests. To only be qualified to perform meanial, repetetious tasks. Only to come to a predestined conclusion. To relive anothers reality as a... consequence.
When has a standard, ever been enough? ..and, for whom? We all dream of our futures, and the great things they will possess. Few consider, that they are within reach? Or, are they? Were they ever? As they say, you only get the right answers, when you ask the right questions.
What we want, might differ from person to person. But, why is that? We only wish for what we embrace. Clouded mentalities lead only to cloudy conclusions, or standard mentalities lead only to.. standard conclusions. You spend your lives, striving for a mutual.. middleground. A pleasant, compromise. Complacency. The golden fucking proportion.
he who dreams of material, will mindless obey the rules of society, social interaction. To stay in the running, for a chance at that next rung up the corporate ladder. One step closer to his material.. consolation. That which he's given up so much, to earn.
a woman pushing her child down the street in a buggy, iPod in one ear, bluetooth in the other, talking to her friend while her child looks up confused, under the impression it is being talked to. This disconnect.
Atleast, for those who can afford it.
You would think the majority of the poor would, at some point, quietly say to themselves.. "hey, hold on, maybe this isn't all it's cracked up to be". Seriously, you would think that. instead it has some sort of strangle hold on them. Instead, they will strive toward this disconnect. toward the car or the iphone. Instead, this woman will pay taxes, She will go to church. She will ignore her family, and her children will pray to both money and jesus.. neither of which were ever listening.
He who appreciates life, will provide it with all thats necessary to sustain it. He will nuture it. He who loves life, will take it, mercilessly, in order to protect it.