A lowly freshman once was I,
Taking classes, getting by,
Until that dreaded fateful day,
When I would have to choose my way.
This choice deserved deliberation,
And would decide my true vocation,
But opportunity I did waste,
And made my decision in great haste:
English! I'll major in English!
No math for me,
Just plain literacy,
Oh why did I choose English?
My adviser asked if I was sure,
if maybe my quick choice was poor,
And I replied straight away,
Here on out, from this day,
English! I'll major in English!
A twenty page essay
due by this Tuesday!
Oh why did I choose English?
My family was not overjoyed,
Shamed I could not be employed,
With steady work, or firm career,
But my choice to me was clear
Analyze poems, stanzas and lines,
Write about symbolism and rhymes:
English! I'll major in English!
Someone's got to read Shakespeare,
It might as well be me!
Oh why did I choose English?
They all laughed and said I'd fail,
And never get high on any payscale,
I turned my back on family and friends,
in the long and bitter end,
Though it turned out that they were right
And I ended up a sorry sight,
Barely making enough to get by,
At night it makes me want to cry.
English! I majored in English!
Can't do jack shit
with this stupid degree!
Could think of better ways
to spend my money!
Oh why did I choose English?