Dear Miss Davis,
I don't know how to make it any more obvious than I've tried to, but I'm sorry.
I've got to say sorry for all the times I let you down and didn't help you get back up.
I'd brush off anything you said with a 'I'm here if you need me.' not a 'How can I help make it better?'
I missed out the very point of it each time: you.
I'd used you and abused you many times when we spoke. If I wanted an answer from someone, I'd get you to do it because you're a better person than me.
I lied to you about DJkay, about my once romantic love of you, about how I didn't pleasure myself.
You knew (or pretty much guessed), yet you just hid it and forgave me each time I said I'd done something wrong to you.
Each time I was thankful, but I didn't think to change my ways to stop it happenning again.
You forgave and forgave, until you could forgive no more.
There was once a time I would be by your side and we'd have great fun together.
Those days went when Natasha came back. I fell back in love, and her likewise.
Until that point, you'd been the most significant person after my family.
Back in the days when Natasha broke up with me because of how far away we were from each other, you were there.
You were always there, to speak caring, compassionate words and reasure me things would work out.
You'd help me through, and if you couldn't, you'd say you couldn't on your own.
You were always truthful, and always tried to make me laugh.
No matter what, you were there for me.
I tried to be a worthy friend in return, but I failed each time deep down.
As much as I showed myself to be a good friend, I think you already knew I wasn't.
You hid it, and it was no fault of your own.
I spoke to you like shit sometimes, and got defensive over things I shouldn't have had a word on; like your piercings.
I didn't listen to your advise or how you knew people better than you let on, and how you knew how to handle them; like when Natasha split with me, and how Kevin acted.
Most of all, I disrespected your love by talking about you to my girlfriend behind your back.
As much as we were in the same convo, you were Be Right Back, and you didn't see.
Both of us (mainly me) didn't tell you about it when you got back, when we should have.
Lauren, as much as I can't repair all the scars I left on you, I want you to know I'm sorry.
From the very bottom of my heart.
I'm sorry.
That's as clear and truthful as I can be.
You go through enough shit each day, at school, at home, on the internet.
The last thing you need is one of your 'best friends' abusing you.
Why should you regard me as a best friend at all if I act like this?
You shouldn't.
I forgot about you when I changed my life, even though you helped me more than anyone to change it.
I want to learn from my mistakes and change how I act towards you.
For you.
Only you.
Right now you're the only thing I want to concentrate on.
We've been through alot together, and I don't want to lose you because of things I could have easily corrected.
That is a promise I make as God is my witness, and He may strike me down if I'm not honest with this.
Maybe this letter can at least let you blame all this shit on me, not Nat too.
Please. She didn't mean it. I'm serious.
I started the topic, therefore I accept the blame.
All of it.
I know I can't use those words to explain how much I regard you since I messed up our relationship, Lauren, so...
I care alot about you.
You shouldn't have to, and you don't have forgive me, just know that I'm sorry.
- King