(8:19:09 PM) digimaster_13: or i hope it might help at least
(8:20:34 PM) digimaster_13: i need to be more focused
(8:20:40 PM) Matt: yea you really do
(8:21:05 PM) digimaster_13: i have at least 4 different things on my mind right now
(8:21:10 PM) digimaster_13: and they are heavy
(8:21:25 PM) Matt: care to share?
(8:21:35 PM) Matt: im to tired to provide sympathy but i can listen
(8:21:41 PM) digimaster_13: lol
(8:21:46 PM) digimaster_13: you mean read
(8:21:53 PM) Matt: yeat there you go
(8:21:54 PM) Matt: read
(8:22:27 PM) digimaster_13: deca, UIL, schoolwork, and if you knew me since 8th grade then i could explain the last one
(8:22:45 PM) Matt: ive known you since 8th....
(8:22:56 PM) Matt: ive known you since 3rd......
(8:23:05 PM) digimaster_13: i never talked to you in 8th, you knew who i was
(8:23:11 PM) Matt: i suppose thats true
(8:23:27 PM) Matt: hmm why are you stressing deca so much
(8:23:47 PM) digimaster_13: to me, deca is really important
(8:24:05 PM) digimaster_13: thats the one thing i have at this point where im am of some use
(8:24:12 PM) digimaster_13: i don't wanna lose that
(8:24:25 PM) Matt: sigh dont worry about it your going to do fine
(8:24:46 PM) Matt: as for UIL, all of us suck right now because we have been studying for deca
(8:24:57 PM) Matt: and for schoolwork, it will get easier once everything is over
(8:24:59 PM) digimaster_13: that's why im of little use for UIL
(8:25:17 PM) digimaster_13: latley i've been feeling unnessesary
(8:25:39 PM) Matt: hmm i cant imagine why that would
(8:25:40 PM) Matt: be
(8:25:45 PM) Matt: i depend on you for deca
(8:25:49 PM) Matt: without you, we would suck
(8:25:55 PM) digimaster_13: thats it, only deca
(8:26:02 PM) digimaster_13: and thats almost over
(8:26:09 PM) Matt: after that and we study for UIL, you will be needed there
(8:26:16 PM) Matt: plus youve got a sophomore class to run
(8:26:21 PM) digimaster_13: even if i wasn't there j would have been leading you
(8:26:29 PM) digimaster_13: i hate that job
(8:26:44 PM) Matt: maybe you just need to find some things that last all year where you know you will be needed
(8:27:01 PM) digimaster_13: no
(8:27:16 PM) digimaster_13: these clubs and programs are never permanent
(8:27:23 PM) digimaster_13: and neew people always enter
(8:27:27 PM) Matt: hmm you have a point
(8:27:49 PM) digimaster_13: therefore it would be foolish to place a feeling of nessecity in it
(8:28:25 PM) digimaster_13: the only way to find purpous that lasts, you would have to be nessesary to people
(8:28:39 PM) Matt: hmmm but you are necessary
(8:28:59 PM) Matt: all of us have people that rely on us, in some way
(8:29:08 PM) Matt: maybe you just need to think about who those people are in your life
(8:29:15 PM) digimaster_13: i have
(8:29:21 PM) digimaster_13: concluded nothing
(8:29:47 PM) digimaster_13: if i am nessasary than i don't feel it and whoever that is hasn't made it known
(8:29:59 PM) Matt: hmmm me and jay depend on you, without you life would be boring
(8:30:04 PM) Matt: school would be boring
(8:30:12 PM) Matt: no competition
(8:30:22 PM) digimaster_13: competition between you and j
(8:30:29 PM) digimaster_13: i have let my studies slip
(8:30:49 PM) digimaster_13: i won't be too much of a competeter in school for too long
(8:31:05 PM) digimaster_13: j has already passed me in math, but i no longer care
(8:31:16 PM) digimaster_13: i don't find happiness in beating yall anymore
(8:31:32 PM) Matt: what do you find happiness in
(8:32:33 PM) digimaster_13: i ask myself that everyday
(8:32:53 PM) Matt: well if you cant answer that question, then you need to find things
(8:32:57 PM) Matt: it seems like your just at a point
(8:33:09 PM) Matt: where you are trying to understand yourself and what you want out life
(8:33:31 PM) Matt: out of*
(8:33:35 PM) digimaster_13: hmmmm..
(8:33:45 PM) Matt: so yes things are going to seem sort of bleak and possibly unnecessary
(8:34:01 PM) Matt: but you will find what you want soon enough
(8:34:04 PM) digimaster_13: you can't understand
(8:34:10 PM) Matt: i can try
(8:34:36 PM) digimaster_13: it's of no help if you don't understand
(8:34:48 PM) digimaster_13: and i knew you wouldn't
(8:35:10 PM) Matt: you cant expect anyone to understand unless you give them the chance
(8:35:24 PM) Matt: if you want people to understand, you arent doing yourself any favors by keeping it all to yourself
(8:35:48 PM) digimaster_13: yes i am
(8:35:55 PM) digimaster_13: that's how i've come this far
(8:36:11 PM) Matt: and thats why you so often look depressed
(8:36:31 PM) digimaster_13: yes, but at least i don't see life falsly as other people
(8:37:05 PM) Matt: hmmm im not saying people dont see life falsely
(8:37:11 PM) Matt: but most of them seem to be enjoying life
(8:37:30 PM) Matt: i mean these are the last years before we have to make our own way in life, whats so wrong with trying to enjoy ourselves every way possible
(8:38:14 PM) digimaster_13: im making my path now, not living in a "false hope time" were most people see it as a time to do whatever
(8:39:14 PM) Matt: then maybe thats your problem, your getting ahead of yourself
(8:39:34 PM) Matt: you dont see yourself as necessary because the things you are looking for are in your life past high school or college
(8:39:40 PM) Matt: and you arent going to find them where you are now
(8:39:59 PM) digimaster_13: i don't want anything past high/collage
(8:40:13 PM) digimaster_13: i just want real purpose
(8:40:25 PM) digimaster_13: soething that everyone else seems to posses
(8:40:48 PM) Matt: thats what everyone wants
(8:40:57 PM) Matt: but your trying to build your own path
(8:41:03 PM) Matt: and thats hard to do at the place you are now
(8:41:13 PM) Matt: where we are now, we are expected to follow the path in front of us
(8:41:16 PM) Matt: not make our own
(8:41:29 PM) digimaster_13: i don't care whats expected
(8:41:38 PM) Matt: i know you dont
(8:41:39 PM) digimaster_13: i hate to be expected of anything
(8:41:51 PM) Matt: and thats sort of the root of your problems it seems
(8:42:15 PM) Matt: you want to be necessary but all the things you want to do are out of reach because your on a path you cant step off of at the moment