THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Alaska Airlines.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked
John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed
her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to
see your ticket not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store but she couldn't find one big
enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any
bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as
I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got
stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you
not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury, illness,
Or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and
snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with
your other hand.'