Incarceration
And in the reaches (reaches could be better)
of an impossibly timeless paradise
I grope
I grasp(say something else) (you can remove this line entirely if you cant think of something better)
I poke
[grope, poke, grapple/strangle] change the order to separate the 'g's. id go with strangle]
The iridescence of sin (i like this so much)
And cast away the possibility
of meeting the confluence.
Intangibility hijacks control (nice overall effect, word it better, hijack and intangibility are good play with them)
My senses are inebriated (senses = inebriated not nice, hastily put together, but inebriated is nice, say something with it which does not exude haste)
I see my body spiral down
as helpless as an armed warrior (this is nice)
I see my soul glide over (no glide, how about a synonym of dissipate/melt/liquidate, not these words please)
I am somewhere in between
or perhaps nowhere at all
in limbo
in jeopardy
in solitude.
Pain
bursts afresh
the wound reopens to keep its heart on display
exquisitely happy in its freedom
the flesh revolts indignantly
for it is instinct
to self-preserve.
(these two paras are simply brilliant)
Perversity in this sense (the previous para style was good, i think its too radical a theme shift here, makes the paras look as parts uncontributing to the overall effect)
is reserved for the perverts
and the fools. (fool could be better)
I partake in the perverse pleasure (i like this)
or pain
and find redemption in its very twinge. (say something other than redemption) (this para contributes very well to the feel of the poem, nice work)
Helpless
In the most inaccessible portions of my mind
I reach into those recesses (no those, say something else)
and find the beast in its lair - waiting for me (dont say beast, lair is nice, just talk about a dangerous lair and leave it up to the reader to put a beast there without you saying)
ready to devour me (see the comment for chew line)
swallow me in entirety (no eternity, bad)
chew on my limbs (again too simple, with these kind of lines of yours i snap out of the ambiance that the other lines create so nicely)
[this addition means you probably exhausted your creative energy for now]
(these two paras are nice but could be worded more mystically)
Attempted extinction
fails
I forget how autonomous memory is.
(could expand this para, it is jumping up and down to say more)
(this para is the only one in this poem to which enough thought has been given)
A threat to my sense of self
my identity
and thus arises a crisis.
(again this is brilliant)
overall all the paragraphs tie in with each other very well. more careful selection of phrases will make it more effective.