This is not how I want to talk to you but you confuse me so much when we speak I don't know what to say.
I do love you. but that is not everything. I would be putting myself in so much danger coming to live with you and I honestly don't think I can do it. I would let you down, I couldn't afford it and I am too scared.
I do hate it here but I feel I have so much to learn by being single and pulling myself out of this mess without a helping hand. I have learnt so much about myself these few months and managing to get my own place is something I have never achieved. I do love you Craig, I know you will hate me for this but if it is meant to be it is meant to be. and we have had so many problems I just don't think it could work. I still want to be your friend...please don't try to change my mind cause it hurts so much to hear you say you want me. I want you too so much. I try and say I am yours and that I will move to be with you and this massive pain in my chest blocks the words. I know I have to figure out why that is and I will think about it. Please just give me a bit of space to think. Try not to hate me. Just let me think about stuff. ok? rachel