Untitled

(11/14/2007 8:04:46 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe entered the room.
(11/14/2007 8:04:46 PM) Ashraf Ali entered the room.
(11/14/2007 8:04:46 PM) R U N its maisa entered the room.
(11/14/2007 8:04:49 PM) Ashraf Ali: hi
(11/14/2007 8:04:50 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: hiii
(11/14/2007 8:05:00 PM) Ashraf Ali: unortunately
(11/14/2007 8:05:01 PM) R U N its maisa: que paso?
(11/14/2007 8:05:04 PM) Ashraf Ali: give me 5 mins
(11/14/2007 8:05:07 PM) Ashraf Ali: sorry
(11/14/2007 8:05:07 PM) R U N its maisa: okay
(11/14/2007 8:05:08 PM) Ashraf Ali: o.0
(11/14/2007 8:05:16 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: dammit
(11/14/2007 8:05:23 PM) R U N its maisa: ??
(11/14/2007 8:05:31 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: LE PRI PRI IS PRESSED FOR TIME
(11/14/2007 8:06:44 PM) Ashraf Ali: ok
(11/14/2007 8:06:47 PM) Ashraf Ali: here
(11/14/2007 8:07:01 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: alright so
(11/14/2007 8:07:02 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: ashraf
(11/14/2007 8:07:09 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: it took me a very long while
(11/14/2007 8:07:10 PM) Ashraf Ali: yes?
(11/14/2007 8:07:18 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: to deliberate on whether or not i would tell anyone
(11/14/2007 8:07:29 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: because i did end up talking to him abt it
(11/14/2007 8:07:31 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and i promised
(11/14/2007 8:07:39 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: but i knew i was keeping a secret for no reason
(11/14/2007 8:07:43 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and i said that to him
(11/14/2007 8:07:57 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: because if anything, i should have gone and told them straight away
(11/14/2007 8:08:04 PM) Ashraf Ali: but do you think you were justified and if so, why?
(11/14/2007 8:08:06 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: cuz man thats A BIG LIEto tell
(11/14/2007 8:08:24 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: friendship is founded upon the basis of trust, no? all "good friendships" anyway
(11/14/2007 8:08:52 PM) Ashraf Ali: true
(11/14/2007 8:09:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: the trhing is
(11/14/2007 8:09:07 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and the things he said to me... he was trying to respect samimas wishes
(11/14/2007 8:09:09 PM) Ashraf Ali: he had a trust with samima as well
(11/14/2007 8:09:18 PM) Ashraf Ali: she didn't want anyone to know
(11/14/2007 8:09:21 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: but man, why would you stay with a girl tht tells you to straight up lie to your best friends?
(11/14/2007 8:09:57 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: put on such a big act?
(11/14/2007 8:10:00 PM) Ashraf Ali: she didn't say to lie
(11/14/2007 8:10:04 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: well he did
(11/14/2007 8:10:08 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: thats what he did
(11/14/2007 8:10:09 PM) Ashraf Ali: and ttechnically he wasn't lying
(11/14/2007 8:10:14 PM) Ashraf Ali: see samima DID ay no
(11/14/2007 8:10:24 PM) Ashraf Ali: he hadt o convince herto say yes
(11/14/2007 8:10:26 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and i cant believe he expected us to just forget about it in a couple of days
(11/14/2007 8:10:35 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: thats doesnt NULLIFY ad amn thing
(11/14/2007 8:10:45 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: it doesnt matter when she said yes, she SAID IT and he LIED abt it
(11/14/2007 8:10:58 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: dude i was so pissed. we were all like wtf how cud she REJECT HIM?
(11/14/2007 8:11:06 PM) Ashraf Ali: no she didn't say yes
(11/14/2007 8:11:11 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: how could he let us think that about her? that she would be so cruel as to actually do that?
(11/14/2007 8:11:20 PM) Ashraf Ali: she didn't say yes!
(11/14/2007 8:11:27 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: SHE DID
(11/14/2007 8:11:29 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: EVENTUALLY
(11/14/2007 8:11:32 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: but she still did
(11/14/2007 8:11:43 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: just cuz she didnt say it striagth up doesnt mean that she didnt say it at all!
(11/14/2007 8:11:58 PM) Ashraf Ali: the thing is
(11/14/2007 8:12:15 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: i know. they calle dit quits later for "religious reasons"
(11/14/2007 8:12:16 PM) Ashraf Ali: everything was just build up and we don't know the entire story
(11/14/2007 8:12:24 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: he told me
(11/14/2007 8:12:27 PM) Ashraf Ali: not relgious reasons
(11/14/2007 8:12:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: im sorry I would type faster but im ewating
(11/14/2007 8:12:38 PM) Ashraf Ali: so o.0
(11/14/2007 8:12:40 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: but how could he leave out that detail?
(11/14/2007 8:12:47 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: all of the time and energy and emotion we all wasted
(11/14/2007 8:12:55 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: trying to eliminate a pain that wasnt there for him!
(11/14/2007 8:13:33 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: "i didnt BEG you guys to come and make me feel better. i wasn't all emo"
(11/14/2007 8:13:43 PM) Ashraf Ali: o.0
(11/14/2007 8:14:07 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: cuz he was keeping stonefaced. and avoiding. adn we thoguht he was doing that for a different reason, not to cover up a lie
(11/14/2007 8:14:51 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and he actually thought the reasons for lying were plausible!
(11/14/2007 8:15:00 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: "if you guys knew, it would be all over the whole school"
(11/14/2007 8:15:03 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: are you shittign me?
(11/14/2007 8:15:24 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: he obviously doenst have enough faith in us at ALL if he thinks we wont shut up abt something that means THAT much to him
(11/14/2007 8:15:49 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: so theres a trust issue twice over
(11/14/2007 8:16:07 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and i always thought that the building blocks of friendship were founded upon TRUST
(11/14/2007 8:16:37 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: maisas heart broke for him. neharahs went out to him. ahsan had this blind faith in him that tauhid would NEVER lie to him.
(11/14/2007 8:16:49 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: thats what he said "tauhid NEVER lies to me. he tells me everything."
(11/14/2007 8:16:49 PM) Ashraf Ali: ah so it's a matter of trsut
(11/14/2007 8:16:53 PM) Ashraf Ali: absolutley nothing else
(11/14/2007 8:17:00 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: what did you think it was?
(11/14/2007 8:17:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: the fact that why is it that you can't trust your own friends
(11/14/2007 8:17:05 PM) Ashraf Ali: I have no idea
(11/14/2007 8:17:10 PM) Ashraf Ali: see when me and tauhid made up
(11/14/2007 8:17:13 PM) Ashraf Ali: I forgot everything bad
(11/14/2007 8:17:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: and thought of everything good
(11/14/2007 8:17:21 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: thats it. he can do that to people.
(11/14/2007 8:17:34 PM) Ashraf Ali: btw
(11/14/2007 8:17:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: before we continue
(11/14/2007 8:17:36 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: he can make you oblivous to the past, momentarliy at least
(11/14/2007 8:17:45 PM) Ashraf Ali: you give permission for me to read any part of this message to tauhid?
(11/14/2007 8:18:04 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: this message is a repition of a journal entry that was given to ahsan
(11/14/2007 8:18:14 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: if he doesnt read this, he will read that
(11/14/2007 8:18:16 PM) Ashraf Ali: ah therefore I accept that as yes
(11/14/2007 8:18:27 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: oh yeah i should have said that straigth up
(11/14/2007 8:18:28 PM) Ashraf Ali: okay, see I think this is how its going to go.
(11/14/2007 8:18:28 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: lolz
(11/14/2007 8:18:41 PM) Ashraf Ali: If we present the idea of trust to him.
(11/14/2007 8:18:53 PM) Ashraf Ali: Then, it will all lead to an I don't know.
(11/14/2007 8:18:57 PM) Ashraf Ali: And that's the root of the problem.
(11/14/2007 8:19:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: If you understand what I Mean
(11/14/2007 8:19:01 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: listen ashraf
(11/14/2007 8:19:06 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: the reason why this bothers me SO MUCH
(11/14/2007 8:19:09 PM) ***Ashraf Ali listening
(11/14/2007 8:19:12 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: is because its not just him thats wrong
(11/14/2007 8:19:25 PM) Ashraf Ali: then what is it?
(11/14/2007 8:19:38 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: i am wrong times a thousand. i have betrayed your trust by confronting him, i have betrayed his trust by telling everyone and i am guilty of not trusting him as well
(11/14/2007 8:19:57 PM) Ashraf Ali: however
(11/14/2007 8:19:58 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: i havent trusted him since the day he broke my trust by tellign ahsan that i used to like him
(11/14/2007 8:20:03 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: that was a big thing for me
(11/14/2007 8:20:05 PM) Ashraf Ali: o.0
(11/14/2007 8:20:10 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and im sure samima is a big thing for him
(11/14/2007 8:20:14 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: and he knows that
(11/14/2007 8:20:30 PM) Ashraf Ali: you know what's funny? I never knew that you liked Ahsan until you told me yourself in such an indirect manner.
(11/14/2007 8:20:32 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: so he likes to use it against me "just like theres things that you dont tell me, there are thigns that i dont tell you"
(11/14/2007 8:20:33 PM) Ashraf Ali: How random.
(11/14/2007 8:20:48 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: wha-HAT?
(11/14/2007 8:20:56 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe: wait you know right NOW
(11/14/2007 8:21:08 PM) Ashraf Ali: actually one time you told me face to face when we were talking near the ghetto truck
(11/14/2007 8:21:11 PM) Ashraf Ali: it was about a week ago.
(11/14/2007 8:21:13 PM) Ashraf Ali: but yeah you told me
(11/14/2007 8:21:19 PM) Ashraf Ali: sorry o.0
(11/14/2007 8:22:06 PM) R U N its maisa: i'm here, by the way
(11/14/2007 8:22:10 PM) Ashraf Ali: I understand.
(11/14/2007 8:22:15 PM) Ashraf Ali: That's awesome Maisa, you rock ^_^
(11/14/2007 8:22:35 PM) Ashraf Ali: give me a minute
(11/14/2007 8:22:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: sorry
(11/14/2007 8:22:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: o.0
(11/14/2007 8:23:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: okay mom is gone, she was talking to me
(11/14/2007 8:23:24 PM) Ashraf Ali: Anyways, look.
(11/14/2007 8:23:30 PM) Ashraf Ali: This is the situation.
(11/14/2007 8:23:33 PM) Ashraf Ali: I'm going to break it down.
(11/14/2007 8:23:52 PM) R U N its maisa: okay
(11/14/2007 8:24:11 PM) Ashraf Ali: Tauhid is angry at Priyanka because she told people about his little secret. He feels that she has no justification and he felt that he could trust her but yeah.
(11/14/2007 8:24:22 PM) R U N its maisa: mmhm
(11/14/2007 8:24:50 PM) Ashraf Ali: Priyanka is angry at Tauhid because its more like, two things. One, why would you tell Ashraf and Hasibul, and not us? Why is it that you don't trust us?
(11/14/2007 8:25:02 PM) Ashraf Ali: Do you think that we are that shameful or that stupid enough to tell others?
(11/14/2007 8:25:07 PM) Ashraf Ali: Do you think we are not good friends?
(11/14/2007 8:25:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: How can you ASSUME that we are gossipers who tell the entire school?
(11/14/2007 8:25:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: It hurts us, it hurts us bad.
(11/14/2007 8:25:34 PM) Ashraf Ali: And Priyanka is also mad because he told Ahsan that she liked him.
(11/14/2007 8:25:40 PM) Ashraf Ali: Which is a major deal because that was meant to be a secret.
(11/14/2007 8:25:42 PM) R U N its maisa: mmhm.
(11/14/2007 8:25:45 PM) Ashraf Ali: It was a trust think.
(11/14/2007 8:25:51 PM) Ashraf Ali: So how could Tauhid betray her like that.
(11/14/2007 8:26:06 PM) Ashraf Ali: While Priyanka did do a fault in betraying my trust and tauhid's trust.
(11/14/2007 8:26:13 PM) Ashraf Ali: The major underlying issue reroutes to Tauhid.
(11/14/2007 8:26:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: As to why did you do it first.
(11/14/2007 8:26:20 PM) R U N its maisa: ashraf, tauhid is dead to me.
(11/14/2007 8:26:26 PM) R U N its maisa: i hope you understand that
(11/14/2007 8:26:49 PM) Ashraf Ali: yeah, at once, I thought you guys could fall in love, and get married like an old hindi tale but I realized that is NEVER going to happen, and I respect that
(11/14/2007 8:26:51 PM) Ashraf Ali: :P
(11/14/2007 8:27:06 PM) SkArr3d4Lyfe left the room.
(11/14/2007 8:27:13 PM) Ashraf Ali: So the basic thing is, Tauhid betrayed Priyanka, so Priyanka betrayed Tauhid.
(11/14/2007 8:27:25 PM) Ashraf Ali: Tauhid can't remember the past, therefore he is constantly questioning WTF did I do.
(11/14/2007 8:27:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: And simply enough, in the end, its really rerouted to both sides and both at fault.
(11/14/2007 8:27:57 PM) Ashraf Ali: I think the problem is, why the fuck is it that Tauhid can't trust us with anything and everything? Does he honestly think we are to tell others?
(11/14/2007 8:28:12 PM) Ashraf Ali: I mean for instance, remember in Lehman when I revealed that I thought I was gay at one point.
(11/14/2007 8:28:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: Now why would I say that to you guys?
(11/14/2007 8:28:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: Because I trust you beyond reason.
(11/14/2007 8:28:29 PM) Ashraf Ali: I would trust my heart and soul with each one of you
(11/14/2007 8:28:50 PM) R U N its maisa: i know.
(11/14/2007 8:28:54 PM) Ashraf Ali: So why is it that he can't do the same with the friends he calls "his closest?"
(11/14/2007 8:29:06 PM) Ashraf Ali: That is what is bugging you in the end.
(11/14/2007 8:29:08 PM) R U N its maisa: that's the question that's been resounding in my head for so long now
(11/14/2007 8:29:18 PM) Ashraf Ali: And how can you be with a person that causes you to LIE to your friends.
(11/14/2007 8:29:30 PM) Ashraf Ali: That you have to keep secrets so big, you can't even tell your friends.
(11/14/2007 8:29:49 PM) Ashraf Ali: I think what he needs to make a decision right now is, what are his true friends? Who are his best friends that he can tell everything to without shame.
(11/14/2007 8:29:56 PM) Ashraf Ali: Because at this point, it seems like its not us at all.
(11/14/2007 8:30:07 PM) Ashraf Ali: It seems like he rather hide more and more and share the rest with Samima.
(11/14/2007 8:30:18 PM) Ashraf Ali: And another issue is, why is it that he is telling Samima everything that WE discuss?
(11/14/2007 8:30:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: I understand that he trusts her to a huge extent, but to betray US and tell her everything is a disservice to us.
(11/14/2007 8:30:42 PM) Ashraf Ali: And a disrespect to your friends.
(11/14/2007 8:31:00 PM) Ashraf Ali: So then both sides and neither sides have justification in betraying each other's trust.
(11/14/2007 8:31:06 PM) R U N its maisa: he doesnt need to make that decision - who are his true friends. because none of us want him back even if he wants us.
(11/14/2007 8:31:28 PM) Ashraf Ali: You guys don't want him back ever?
(11/14/2007 8:31:32 PM) Ashraf Ali: Even if he changed?
(11/14/2007 8:32:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: Answer please.
(11/14/2007 8:32:03 PM) R U N its maisa: ...changed?
(11/14/2007 8:32:10 PM) R U N its maisa: does he know the meaning of the word?
(11/14/2007 8:32:12 PM) Ashraf Ali: o.0
(11/14/2007 8:32:30 PM) R U N its maisa: ashraf, you don't understand how much he has hurt me.
(11/14/2007 8:32:59 PM) Ashraf Ali: Honestly at this point, you are right, I don't
(11/14/2007 8:32:59 PM) R U N its maisa: i was cumulatively hurt by him worse than i was when marc died.
(11/14/2007 8:33:31 PM) Ashraf Ali: Okay Maisa, I need to be totally honest with you.
(11/14/2007 8:33:34 PM) Ashraf Ali: Like beyond reason.
(11/14/2007 8:33:39 PM) R U N its maisa: sure.
(11/14/2007 8:34:09 PM) Ashraf Ali: Look, in the beginning of sophomore year, remember when I bugged you about having bf's and stuff. LIke I tried to make conversation but I failed so badly. And you were really down everytime I said that.
(11/14/2007 8:34:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: So then, I asked Tauhid as to why she was always like that when I brought the topic up.
(11/14/2007 8:34:40 PM) Ashraf Ali: THen he told me about the guy that you liked and everything, and how he died of tuberculosis.
(11/14/2007 8:34:55 PM) Ashraf Ali: And He also told me aobut the other guy where you were ready to confess your love, but he moved away.
(11/14/2007 8:35:00 PM) R U N its maisa: he died of pneumonia.
(11/14/2007 8:35:07 PM) R U N its maisa: uhm
(11/14/2007 8:35:09 PM) R U N its maisa: what
(11/14/2007 8:35:10 PM) Ashraf Ali: well, he said tuberculosis.
(11/14/2007 8:35:12 PM) Ashraf Ali: He is weird.
(11/14/2007 8:35:19 PM) R U N its maisa: that second part is not true
(11/14/2007 8:35:24 PM) Ashraf Ali: Something like that.
(11/14/2007 8:35:25 PM) R U N its maisa: where the hell did you get that from
(11/14/2007 8:35:29 PM) Ashraf Ali: one sec.
(11/14/2007 8:35:34 PM) R U N its maisa: okay
(11/14/2007 8:35:38 PM) Ashraf Ali: it was like this guy liked you a lot.
(11/14/2007 8:35:44 PM) R U N its maisa: oh yeah
(11/14/2007 8:35:46 PM) Ashraf Ali: but you didn't accept it or what not, you didn't know what to do.
(11/14/2007 8:35:56 PM) Ashraf Ali: And then, he moved away just about when you were ready to face it.
(11/14/2007 8:36:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: That you like dhim or what not.
(11/14/2007 8:36:06 PM) Ashraf Ali: That's what I remember from such a long time ago.
(11/14/2007 8:36:07 PM) R U N its maisa: i didnt like him
(11/14/2007 8:36:11 PM) Ashraf Ali: Ah okay.
(11/14/2007 8:36:16 PM) Ashraf Ali: I know its not word for word.
(11/14/2007 8:36:19 PM) Ashraf Ali: But yeah Tauhid told me.
(11/14/2007 8:36:21 PM) R U N its maisa: it's okay
(11/14/2007 8:36:29 PM) Ashraf Ali: He said to me that if Maisa ever found out, I would be dead.
(11/14/2007 8:36:31 PM) R U N its maisa: but it definitely was not tuberculosis
(11/14/2007 8:36:40 PM) Ashraf Ali: So that's why I kept this secret.
(11/14/2007 8:36:43 PM) Ashraf Ali: I always knew about this.
(11/14/2007 8:36:46 PM) Ashraf Ali: And I just kept it inside.
(11/14/2007 8:36:55 PM) Ashraf Ali: And it really just sucked the life out of me that you experienced something like that.
(11/14/2007 8:37:00 PM) Ashraf Ali: I could never imagine something like that.
(11/14/2007 8:37:04 PM) Ashraf Ali: I would be dead cold.
(11/14/2007 8:37:32 PM) R U N its maisa: dead cold. haha. pneumonia.
(11/14/2007 8:37:45 PM) R U N its maisa: i can't believe he told you.
(11/14/2007 8:37:54 PM) R U N its maisa: i mean, there's nothing wrong with you knowing
(11/14/2007 8:37:56 PM) R U N its maisa: i don't mind it now
(11/14/2007 8:38:15 PM) R U N its maisa: but why couldnt he have let me know?
(11/14/2007 8:38:24 PM) Ashraf Ali: because I was such a new friend to your group.
(11/14/2007 8:38:37 PM) Ashraf Ali: You would have been like, wtf why does he know about my history, wtf is wrong with you.
(11/14/2007 8:38:47 PM) Ashraf Ali: Why do I feel like Tauhid does what I used to do.
(11/14/2007 8:38:58 PM) R U N its maisa: wow
(11/14/2007 8:39:00 PM) R U N its maisa: let me tell you something
(11/14/2007 8:39:02 PM) Ashraf Ali: LIke I bottle up secrets from others and then I tell people because I can't keep it under wraps.
(11/14/2007 8:39:25 PM) R U N its maisa: when i found out that tauhid told samima about neharah and ahsan, even though they didnt want anyone to know
(11/14/2007 8:39:26 PM) Ashraf Ali: I'm ready to listen.
(11/14/2007 8:39:35 PM) R U N its maisa: i asked him why he'd do that
(11/14/2007 8:39:41 PM) R U N its maisa: hold on
(11/14/2007 8:39:45 PM) R U N its maisa: i have the conversation
(11/14/2007 8:40:18 PM) Ashraf Ali: okay.
(11/14/2007 8:40:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: use pastebin.ca
(11/14/2007 8:40:24 PM) Ashraf Ali: if it doesn't fit
(11/14/2007 8:40:46 PM) R U N its maisa: untitled000T000: ahsan, i believe, trusts samima as much as i dountitled000T000: so i dont understand why your getting all fired up for.
(11/14/2007 8:41:08 PM) R U N its maisa: R U N its maisa: i'm not heated. really. it matters because maybe one day you'll tell her something about me that i would have preferred her, or anyone, not knowing.
(11/14/2007 8:41:21 PM) R U N its maisa: you may trust her with the world, but that doesnt mean i have to as well. i don't know her so she doesnt have to mean anything to me. i'm not calling her an untrustworthy person,
(11/14/2007 8:41:28 PM) R U N its maisa:  because i'm sure she's not, but let others make that decision.
(11/14/2007 8:41:36 PM) R U N its maisa: untitled000T000: Is that what your afraid of?R U N its maisa: yes.untitled000T000: You sure trust me a whole lot dont you?
(11/14/2007 8:41:51 PM) R U N its maisa: R U N its maisa: you said yourself that you tell her everything. so why should that not include things about me?untitled000T000: I tell priyanka and ahsan and neharah everything
(11/14/2007 8:41:59 PM) R U N its maisa: untitled000T000: why dont you ask them if i told them about you "secrets"
(11/14/2007 8:42:41 PM) R U N its maisa: so what do you think about that
(11/14/2007 8:43:11 PM) Ashraf Ali: the last bit was really assholish of him.
(11/14/2007 8:43:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: and I don't blame you for being insecure.
(11/14/2007 8:43:23 PM) Ashraf Ali: So yeah, I understand totally.
(11/14/2007 8:44:00 PM) Ashraf Ali: The final arena is trust.
(11/14/2007 8:44:03 PM) Ashraf Ali: That is all it is.
(11/14/2007 8:44:09 PM) R U N its maisa: he expects me to trust him
(11/14/2007 8:44:27 PM) Ashraf Ali: He betrayed or maybe betrayed behind your back, your trust and priyanka's trust.
(11/14/2007 8:44:34 PM) Ashraf Ali: And his attitude on the subject is just cocky.
(11/14/2007 8:44:42 PM) R U N its maisa: he betrayed everyone's trust, ashraf
(11/14/2007 8:44:45 PM) Ashraf Ali: And thus, you are angry at him for toying around with trust.
(11/14/2007 8:44:59 PM) R U N its maisa: i am angry with him for everything
(11/14/2007 8:45:04 PM) Ashraf Ali: I understand, but he didn't betray mine because he doesn't know my darkest secrets so yeah.
(11/14/2007 8:45:16 PM) Ashraf Ali: But even at that, I doubt he would betray mine.
(11/14/2007 8:45:28 PM) Ashraf Ali: Because if he did, he would understand the reprucussions.
(11/14/2007 8:45:30 PM) R U N its maisa: angry for making me sooo happy sometimes, and then making me feel like this other times
(11/14/2007 8:45:37 PM) R U N its maisa: i know.
(11/14/2007 8:46:07 PM) Ashraf Ali: see the thing is, the little happiness is good (I've seen it, its really sweet ^_^) but then the crashing burn comes and then the anger builds until you just can't take it anymore.
(11/14/2007 8:46:27 PM) Ashraf Ali: Tell me something, did I get the concept and stories right? About tauhid and priyanka whatnot?
(11/14/2007 8:46:34 PM) R U N its maisa: yeah you got the gist of it
(11/14/2007 8:46:37 PM) R U N its maisa: but we felt the real thing
(11/14/2007 8:47:09 PM) Ashraf Ali: I'm sorry, I hope I never hurt you guys.
(11/14/2007 8:47:19 PM) R U N its maisa: i hope not
(11/14/2007 8:47:27 PM) Ashraf Ali: See the thing is, what scared me the most is when Neharah was like, I can't tell you anything because you can't keep a secret.
(11/14/2007 8:47:33 PM) Ashraf Ali: It really got to me so that's why I tried my hardest to change.
(11/14/2007 8:47:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: And I think its working.
(11/14/2007 8:47:44 PM) Ashraf Ali: I have kept secrets when people want me to.
(11/14/2007 8:47:49 PM) Ashraf Ali: And I have locked my lips.
(11/14/2007 8:47:54 PM) R U N its maisa: good. i'm proud of you
(11/14/2007 8:47:57 PM) Ashraf Ali: so yes, I know that I am trying my hardest to fix myself.
(11/14/2007 8:48:03 PM) R U N its maisa: tauhid, i want him out.
(11/14/2007 8:48:11 PM) Ashraf Ali: The thing I still don't believe is that when Tauhid says he is changing himself, he really isn't.
(11/14/2007 8:48:15 PM) Ashraf Ali: He is stuck on old models.
(11/14/2007 8:48:25 PM) Ashraf Ali: But I can't hate him or disrespect him or anything because two things.
(11/14/2007 8:48:32 PM) Ashraf Ali: He is my older brother and he is my friend.
(11/14/2007 8:48:39 PM) Ashraf Ali: And he hasn't done me any wrong.
(11/14/2007 8:48:45 PM) Ashraf Ali: So yes, but I understand what he did to you.
(11/14/2007 8:49:21 PM) Ashraf Ali: I might not know what it feels like, but I understand.
(11/14/2007 8:49:37 PM) Ashraf Ali: I won't be sharing the hatred with you as I stated but I hope that this can be fixed.
(11/14/2007 8:49:42 PM) Ashraf Ali: I know you guys gave up on him.
(11/14/2007 8:49:49 PM) Ashraf Ali: but I still believe that heads can be turned and something can be changed.
(11/14/2007 8:49:57 PM) R U N its maisa: you really think so
(11/14/2007 8:49:59 PM) R U N its maisa: huh
(11/14/2007 8:50:04 PM) R U N its maisa: wow. that's a reach.
(11/14/2007 8:50:07 PM) Ashraf Ali: I am quite the optimistic person.
(11/14/2007 8:50:12 PM) Ashraf Ali: I always have bene.
(11/14/2007 8:50:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: I can't just look at the negative.
(11/14/2007 8:50:34 PM) Ashraf Ali: See I know I might not get into a good college because I can't take the SATs.
(11/14/2007 8:50:37 PM) R U N its maisa: but when there are so many negatives, it's hard to miss them
(11/14/2007 8:50:40 PM) Ashraf Ali: But I know that I will get somewhere.
(11/14/2007 8:50:50 PM) Ashraf Ali: Well of course
(11/14/2007 8:50:53 PM) Ashraf Ali: Negatives are everywhere.
(11/14/2007 8:50:55 PM) R U N its maisa: that's being optimistic
(11/14/2007 8:51:01 PM) R U N its maisa: you can't do that with tauhid
(11/14/2007 8:51:02 PM) Ashraf Ali: So I emphasize the goodness of everything.
(11/14/2007 8:51:03 PM) R U N its maisa: not anymore
(11/14/2007 8:51:11 PM) R U N its maisa: don't you realize that that's what we've BEEN doing?
(11/14/2007 8:51:21 PM) Ashraf Ali: yeah, but there is a limit for all.
(11/14/2007 8:51:33 PM) Ashraf Ali: so I TOTALLY understand your limit was pushed.
(11/14/2007 8:52:03 PM) R U N its maisa: ashraf, it has come to the point where i want to cause intense and sever physical pain to him
(11/14/2007 8:52:23 PM) R U N its maisa: i want to inflict the pain upon him this time
(11/14/2007 8:53:07 PM) R U N its maisa: severe*
(11/14/2007 8:53:43 PM) Ashraf Ali: I totally understand.
(11/14/2007 8:53:46 PM) Ashraf Ali: And you have full justification.
(11/14/2007 8:54:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: But I still have hope that you guys will find forgiveness and Tauhid will reach a point of fixing this issue
(11/14/2007 8:54:09 PM) Ashraf Ali: Fixing his issues, whatever they me
(11/14/2007 8:54:10 PM) R U N its maisa: why doesnt he realize how much he hurt me?
(11/14/2007 8:54:21 PM) R U N its maisa: ashraf, don't give me this bs
(11/14/2007 8:54:26 PM) R U N its maisa: no forgiveness this time
(11/14/2007 8:54:37 PM) R U N its maisa: the longest i have ever gone without talking to him before has been 3 days
(11/14/2007 8:54:41 PM) R U N its maisa: and then there was forgiveness
(11/14/2007 8:54:43 PM) R U N its maisa: this time
(11/14/2007 8:54:45 PM) R U N its maisa: it's been 3 weeks
(11/14/2007 8:54:49 PM) R U N its maisa: no forgiveness here.
(11/14/2007 8:54:55 PM) Ashraf Ali: See what confuses me is when I tell him that Priyanka and Maisa are hurt by you, he says, why, I can never answer him.
(11/14/2007 8:55:01 PM) Ashraf Ali: I got Priyanka's side of the story.
(11/14/2007 8:55:14 PM) Ashraf Ali: But Its harder to get it out of you, no offense.
(11/14/2007 8:55:34 PM) R U N its maisa: it's because it's different with the two of us
(11/14/2007 8:55:52 PM) Ashraf Ali: Ah
(11/14/2007 8:55:55 PM) Ashraf Ali: Do you mind telling me though?
(11/14/2007 8:56:41 PM) R U N its maisa: i was talking to neharah the other day about freshmen year. we were thinking about how during those few months in the beginning, she and i were just "baby friends" and we talked about how far we came from there
(11/14/2007 8:57:03 PM) R U N its maisa: you know, baby friends. like, still having to watch what we say
(11/14/2007 8:57:10 PM) R U N its maisa: in order not to leave a bad impression
(11/14/2007 8:57:15 PM) Ashraf Ali: ah.
(11/14/2007 8:57:18 PM) R U N its maisa: not being able to fully be ourselves
(11/14/2007 8:57:25 PM) R U N its maisa: tauhid and i have never been "baby friends"
(11/14/2007 8:57:47 PM) R U N its maisa: we werent friends one day, and the next day we were best friends
(11/14/2007 8:57:52 PM) R U N its maisa: we never had awkward silences
(11/14/2007 8:57:54 PM) Ashraf Ali: that's a good thing right?
(11/14/2007 8:58:09 PM) R U N its maisa: it is. we always had something to talk about
(11/14/2007 8:58:22 PM) R U N its maisa: he broke it off with ellora because they never talked
(11/14/2007 8:58:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: awesome, love it so much.
(11/14/2007 8:58:33 PM) R U N its maisa: he had a hard time with samima at first because they never talked
(11/14/2007 8:58:34 PM) Ashraf Ali: WTF, SO IT WASN"T GAY STUPID RELIGIOUS REASONS?
(11/14/2007 8:58:35 PM) Ashraf Ali: o.0
(11/14/2007 8:58:42 PM) R U N its maisa: that was never the case with us
(11/14/2007 8:58:42 PM) Ashraf Ali: does ellora know this?
(11/14/2007 8:58:45 PM) R U N its maisa: yeah she knows
(11/14/2007 8:58:48 PM) Ashraf Ali: ah
(11/14/2007 8:58:58 PM) R U N its maisa: so now what i'm wonder is
(11/14/2007 8:59:16 PM) R U N its maisa: how such a friendship could be broken so easily. why has it been so easily for me to let him go for these past 3 weeks?
(11/14/2007 8:59:31 PM) R U N its maisa: because i was letting go of what he has become
(11/14/2007 8:59:34 PM) R U N its maisa: not what he was
(11/14/2007 8:59:42 PM) R U N its maisa: what he was completely evaporated
(11/14/2007 8:59:57 PM) R U N its maisa: and this was what we were left with
(11/14/2007 8:59:58 PM) R U N its maisa: and honestly
(11/14/2007 9:00:01 PM) R U N its maisa: i feel bad for samima
(11/14/2007 9:00:04 PM) R U N its maisa: because
(11/14/2007 9:00:17 PM) R U N its maisa: this is all she has known, and will know
(11/14/2007 9:00:21 PM) R U N its maisa: we were the lucky ones
(11/14/2007 9:00:26 PM) R U N its maisa: we got to him before he changed
(11/14/2007 9:00:41 PM) R U N its maisa: we spent time with the old him, which she never knew
(11/14/2007 9:01:08 PM) Ashraf Ali: so he changed? evolved? but how? what changed? I really honestly don't know. when I say I forgot everything, I meant it.
(11/14/2007 9:01:09 PM) R U N its maisa: wondering* easy*
(11/14/2007 9:01:43 PM) R U N its maisa: you didnt know him when we were freshmen
(11/14/2007 9:01:43 PM) Ashraf Ali: he sounds like he was the greatest guy.
(11/14/2007 9:01:47 PM) R U N its maisa: he was.
(11/14/2007 9:02:14 PM) R U N its maisa: and it hurts so much
(11/14/2007 9:02:19 PM) R U N its maisa: because he's not anymore
(11/14/2007 9:02:23 PM) R U N its maisa: he's a dick.
(11/14/2007 9:02:25 PM) R U N its maisa: and that's it.
(11/14/2007 9:11:18 PM) Ashraf Ali: I'm sorry, I was on the phone with Tauhid.
(11/14/2007 9:11:26 PM) R U N its maisa: hah.
(11/14/2007 9:11:26 PM) Ashraf Ali: He says sorry for his mom calling you
(11/14/2007 9:11:33 PM) R U N its maisa: whatever
(11/14/2007 9:11:36 PM) Ashraf Ali: okay ^_^
(11/14/2007 9:12:06 PM) Ashraf Ali: So he changed for the bad.
(11/14/2007 9:12:18 PM) R U N its maisa: yeah, he did.
(11/14/2007 9:13:12 PM) Unable to send message: The message is too large.
(11/14/2007 9:13:20 PM) Ashraf Ali: The thing is, what exact, like his trust broke down, but what else, he also blew you off numerous times,
(11/14/2007 9:13:21 PM) Ashraf Ali: he didn't come for when you needed him, he was being selfish, he failed to keep contact at times, he doesn't know when to leave you alone,
(11/14/2007 9:14:05 PM) R U N its maisa: the fact that every single one of those things hurt me so much
(11/14/2007 9:14:09 PM) R U N its maisa: and he doesnt get it.
(11/14/2007 9:15:00 PM) Ashraf Ali: sorry, I just need to understand, is there any more that I am missing
(11/14/2007 9:15:04 PM) Ashraf Ali: Please add them to the list.
(11/14/2007 9:16:31 PM) Ashraf Ali: Okay, I am presuming you are either thinking or I have everything down.
(11/14/2007 9:17:18 PM) R U N its maisa: he doesnt appreciate
(11/14/2007 9:17:23 PM) R U N its maisa: he takes everything for granted
(11/14/2007 9:17:46 PM) R U N its maisa: to pri, he said "why do you even bother to get mad at me? cus you know you'll be back"
(11/14/2007 9:18:28 PM) Ashraf Ali: ah so the fact that he assumes that everything will be alright and not even fixing the underlying issue is bad enough.
(11/14/2007 9:18:30 PM) Ashraf Ali: anything else?
(11/14/2007 9:19:14 PM) R U N its maisa: he just doesnt care.
(11/14/2007 9:20:30 PM) Ashraf Ali: ah okay
(11/14/2007 9:20:35 PM) Ashraf Ali: so I'm presuming this is all.
(11/14/2007 9:20:43 PM) Ashraf Ali: Btw understand that I am building a case against him.
(11/14/2007 9:20:48 PM) Ashraf Ali: So I have your permission?
(11/14/2007 9:20:54 PM) R U N its maisa: lol absolutely
(11/14/2007 9:21:23 PM) Ashraf Ali: Okay, perfect.
(11/14/2007 9:21:32 PM) Ashraf Ali: Please understand that I am neutral at all times.
(11/14/2007 9:21:40 PM) Ashraf Ali: So yeah, no bias whatsoever.
(11/14/2007 9:21:50 PM) R U N its maisa: okay.
(11/14/2007 9:22:30 PM) Ashraf Ali: I know I can fix this. Or at least help in the long run.
(11/14/2007 9:22:41 PM) Ashraf Ali: Btw, thank you very much for talking to me.
(11/14/2007 9:22:50 PM) R U N its maisa: of course
(11/14/2007 9:22:53 PM) R U N its maisa: thanks for listening
(11/14/2007 9:23:11 PM) Ashraf Ali: I have never been able to get solid proof or constructive text about what you guys feel against him.
(11/14/2007 9:23:13 PM) Ashraf Ali: So this helps quite a bit.
(11/14/2007 9:23:22 PM) Ashraf Ali: I will have an intervention with him in 9th period.
(11/14/2007 9:23:50 PM) R U N its maisa: hah. have fun with that.
(11/14/2007 9:24:17 PM) Ashraf Ali: I shall, you take care
(11/14/2007 9:24:20 PM) Ashraf Ali: I have barbour hw to do
(11/14/2007 9:24:21 PM) Ashraf Ali: take care
(11/14/2007 9:24:28 PM) R U N its maisa: good luck byee. thanks
(11/14/2007 9:24:45 PM) Ashraf Ali: your welcome love ^_^
(11/14/2007 9:25:41 PM) R U N its maisa left the room.