on *:text:!joke:#:{
var %x = $r(1,10)
if (%x == 1) { /notice $nick A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?". "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?" (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 2) { /notice $nick Why did the blonde buy some curtains for her computer? -- Because she went out to buy Windows! (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 3) { /notice $nick A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning. Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly. The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?" (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 4) { /notice $nick What do you call a blonde with half a brain? -- Gifted! (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 5) { /notice $nick Did you hear about the chavs who drove off the cliff? Good point: there was 4 chavs on board, Bad point: there was room for 5 (Coolqwazves) }
if (%x == 6) { /notice $nick A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?" (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 7) { /notice $nick A blind old man walks into the bar and orders a beer. When he gets his beer he asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good blonde joke. The bartender then says: Im a blonde girl with the black belt in karate. The two persons next to you are also blondes with the black belt and in the back is 4 more blondes with the black belt. Now are you sure u want to tell the joke? The old man replies: " No, i dont want to repeat the joke 6 times!" (The Axelman) } }
if (%x == 8) { /notice $nick A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them. The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!" (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 9) { /notice $nick 12Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? 4A: They can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons (The Axelman) }
if (%x == 10) { /notice $nick 12Q: Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? 4A: A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper (The Axelman) }
}