(1:51:33 AM) Ethan: Hopefully, you'll read this.
(1:51:39 AM) Ethan: I'm not mad at you
(1:51:42 AM) Ethan: I never have been.
(1:51:45 AM) Ethan: I'm mad at me
(1:51:52 AM) Ethan: why? because I have no redeeming qualities.
(1:51:54 AM) Ethan: I don't like me.
(1:51:59 AM) Ethan: I don't know why anyone WOULD like me.
(1:52:19 AM) Ethan: every day, you're the only person that could prove to me that maybe I'm not worthless.
(1:52:40 AM) Ethan: because I could actually make you happy.
(1:52:45 AM) Ethan: and you don't know how happy that made me.
(1:52:52 AM) Ethan: I know I have problems.
(1:53:39 AM) Ethan: but as long as I could talk to you then I could at least know that I'm good enough for SOMEONE to love.
(1:53:48 AM) Ethan: Not only that
(1:53:57 AM) Ethan: but good enough for someone I love to love back.
(1:54:14 AM) Ethan: and I know this sounds like I just need someone
(1:54:21 AM) Ethan: but it's not, you'll just have to trust me on that one
(1:54:32 AM) Ethan: well
(1:54:32 AM) Ethan: wai
(1:54:34 AM) Ethan: wait*
(1:54:35 AM) Ethan: lemme think here
(1:54:52 AM) Ethan: because
(1:55:01 AM) Ethan: you're amazing enough that I can truly love no matter what
(1:55:09 AM) Ethan: and everything about you is perfect
(1:55:38 AM) Ethan: do you realize how great loving the one person you've met in your whole live who's perfect and knowing that they love you back is?
(1:55:50 AM) Ethan: I know I'm terrible at showing my feelings
(1:55:53 AM) Ethan: or even being good to you
(1:56:24 AM) Ethan: but just the fact that you'd even care enough to try is what I live for.
(1:56:58 AM) Ethan: it's not that it's the only thing that matters to me in the sense that love drowns everything else out
(1:57:12 AM) Ethan: it's that before you I had NOTHING to live for
(1:57:22 AM) Ethan: sure I could grow up and whatnot, but who cares? it's just.. bleh
(1:57:55 AM) Ethan: not meaningful
(1:58:06 AM) Ethan: and essentially pointless to me
(1:58:07 AM) Ethan: but
(1:58:26 AM) Ethan: those same things aren't pointless with love
(1:58:51 AM) Ethan: I really hope you understand that. I'll be waiting. I hope I'm not so horrible that you can't talk to me