Doug's problem is simple: he wants this phone system to have all this grand functionality with no cognitive scheme: have a DID ported from SBC to SIP to analog then back to SIP ring to a PoE ATA that has to fight with their POS server for an IP every 3600 seconds thats connected to a UTI that pages every speaker in a 4 block radius for 37 minutes, then ring the fish phone queue for 1.1415179 second(s), then ring the hostess station at Magnolia forty-three trillion times with some special ring tone from disney.com after the nth ring, but not loud enough for the customers to hear, but loud enough for the deaf-mute cook to hear while he is scraping fish off a grill located between an A/C unit and a commercial dishwasher in the basement that both run 24x7, then go to some random voicemail extension twice, then page the operator so they can transfer the call to the auto attendant who says "press *5*1#9*#3##3 to flush the 3rd toilet in the women's restroom at Jimmy G's or press 0 and a half to place an order for crawfish croutons if your name starts with a V and you live in Perth, Australia..." - and then he turns around and bitches because its too freaking complicated to fit on a single piece of paper packed with 6 pixel font when the dial plan itself is 84 pages of regular expressions...