Conversation with Crystal Snider on Sat Sep 22 13:45:20 2007:
(12:45:21) Crystal Snider: Sean
(12:45:27) Crystal Snider: Sean's dad just died...
(12:45:30) Crystal Snider: ...
(12:45:50) Eric Peterson: that's awful. what happened?
(12:46:43) Crystal Snider: he went to the hospital because they thought he was having kidney problems but he wasnt
(12:46:53) Crystal Snider: gave him meds, went into cardiac arrest
(12:48:40) Eric Peterson: wow
(12:48:43) Eric Peterson: is his mother still around?
(12:48:51) Crystal Snider: well...
(12:48:53) Crystal Snider: yes
(12:49:00) Crystal Snider: but she isnt doing very well...
(12:49:10) Crystal Snider: she just had serious knee surgery
(12:49:55) Eric Peterson: that doesn't sound life-threatening, just emotionally terrible
(12:50:47) Crystal Snider: no, it isnt life threatening, she is just unable to walk and is out of it from pain meds
(12:50:52) Crystal Snider: so sean is sorta on his own
(12:51:20) Eric Peterson: any extended family? in particular grandparents on his father's side
(12:51:59) Crystal Snider: Nope. He has an aunt who lives really far away, but that is it. His parents had kids late in life :/
(12:52:08) Eric Peterson: ah
(13:00:36) Crystal Snider has gone away.
(13:00:36) Crystal Snider has become idle.
(13:29:48) Crystal Snider is no longer away.
(13:29:48) Crystal Snider is no longer idle.
(13:31:22) Crystal Snider: i dont know how to help
(13:31:43) Eric Peterson: it's not really something you can 'help' with. it's not a problem in a traditional sense
(13:31:46) Eric Peterson: the best you can do is be there
(13:32:03) Crystal Snider: the bad part is that I cant be THERE
(13:32:19) Crystal Snider: where he lives
(13:32:19) Eric Peterson: emotionally there is more important than there there
(13:32:20) Crystal Snider: I mean
(14:19:08) Crystal Snider has gone away.
(14:19:08) Crystal Snider has become idle.
(14:19:10) Crystal Snider is no longer away.
(14:19:10) Crystal Snider is no longer idle.
(14:22:01) Eric Peterson: all of mythos (ileah's muck) sends their condolences
(14:24:16) Crystal Snider: i will let him know :(
(14:32:30) Crystal Snider has gone away.
(14:32:30) Crystal Snider has become idle.
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(00:14:59) You feel a disturbance in the force...
(00:15:15) Crystal Snider: why is he so okay with this :/. I hate my parents and I'd STILL be upset about it
(00:15:18) Crystal Snider: -.-
(00:26:27) Eric Peterson: i don't know. everybody deals differently
(00:26:40) Crystal Snider: he's going to work tommorow
(00:26:43) Crystal Snider: hes acting normal
(00:26:45) Eric Peterson: sounds reasonable
(00:26:46) Crystal Snider: but im worried
(00:27:13) Crystal Snider: dont want him to hold it in until he explodes
(00:27:42) Eric Peterson: of course you don't, but sometimes that's what happens
(00:27:53) Eric Peterson: and it's certainly more damaging to tug and yank and pull
(00:28:03) Eric Peterson: just let him deal, be there when you can and when he wants you to be
(00:28:17) Crystal Snider: i guess I cant help but be worried
(00:28:24) Crystal Snider: because he wont talk to ANYone
(00:28:34) Crystal Snider: one of his friends called me, also worried
(00:29:18) Crystal Snider: i hope he's ok
(00:30:12) Eric Peterson: sounds like he's grieving plenty, frankly
(00:30:30) Crystal Snider: i guess its a guy thing :/
(00:31:11) Crystal Snider: i cried and cried and cried and needed my friends when my grandpa died
(00:31:15) Crystal Snider: let alone my parents
(00:31:17) Crystal Snider: ah well..
(00:31:23) Eric Peterson: it's that last part that's different
(00:31:47) Eric Peterson: and it's not like if he needs you he won't come get you, or at least make himself available
(00:31:56) Eric Peterson: but if he deliberately makes himself unavailable, then lay off
(00:32:04) Crystal Snider: He is acting macho
(00:32:43) Eric Peterson: no, he's dealing with it without you
(00:32:48) Eric Peterson: there's no issue of pride here on his part
(00:33:18) Crystal Snider: if you call pretending he is ok when you can tell he isnt dealing with it, then sure
(00:33:42) Eric Peterson: like i said, it sounds like he is grieving
(00:33:44) Eric Peterson: privately
(00:34:00) Crystal Snider: you dont think you'd be upset if your dad died?
(00:34:39) Eric Peterson: absolutely i would be upset
(00:34:57) Eric Peterson: you're missing the point. just because he's not being upset with you doesn't mean he's not upset
(00:35:18) Crystal Snider: he's not upset with anyone
(00:35:29) Eric Peterson: that changes nothing in what i said
(00:36:05) Crystal Snider: well I guess I just hope he doesnt hold it in and PRETEND to be ok. I hope he feels like he has support
(00:36:15) Crystal Snider: I dont know what more to do for him at this point
(00:36:32) Eric Peterson: then you've done everything you can
(00:36:47) Eric Peterson: he'll talk to you about it when he's ready to deal with it himself
(00:37:01) Crystal Snider: i suppose it is "girly" to cry a lot and want as many friends around you as possible
(00:37:31) Eric Peterson: i guess, though gender issues seem tangential to the point
(00:38:43) Crystal Snider: all his female friends are calling ME, but I wont tell them what happened because that is his thing to reveal or not reveal
(00:39:15) Crystal Snider: a few are worried and are like "well how is he" and I just have to say "honestly, I dont know, but continue to be there for him..
(00:40:59) Eric Peterson: sounds like a fine plan to me
(00:41:32) Crystal Snider: ah well. I guess I will still worry for him and his sanity. sigh
(00:42:58) Eric Peterson: he's going to be fine, and he's going to deal with it, and eventually he'll come to you and you'll talk and it and cry in each other's e-arms
(00:43:05) Eric Peterson: but in the meantime, just sit back and worry
(00:43:16) Eric Peterson: just don't... i don't know. break him
(00:43:24) Crystal Snider: well Im going out there for the funeral since he wants me to
(00:43:36) Crystal Snider: Im not even TALKING to him, to be honest with you
(00:43:53) Eric Peterson: if that's what he wants, then fantastic
(00:44:19) Crystal Snider: yeah.. he bought me a plane ticket 0_o
(00:44:41) Crystal Snider: and asked me to take it off work
(00:46:19) Crystal Snider: sometimes you are way too analytical heh
(00:46:39) Eric Peterson: lol, /i/'m analytical
(00:46:57) Crystal Snider: i guess it comes with math + nerd :D
(00:48:09) Crystal Snider: i wonder if being analytical rules your life, and if there really IS a heart in there
(00:48:15) Crystal Snider: like the tinman
(00:48:52) Crystal Snider: *bonk bonk*
(00:49:36) Eric Peterson: i don't even know what to say
(00:50:03) Crystal Snider: sing the song :p
(00:51:11) Crystal Snider: Do you have a warm fuzzy under all that math and compiter science and other advanced knowledge?
(00:53:59) Crystal Snider: man you need to get oiled
(00:55:29) Crystal Snider: *laffo*
(00:56:00) Eric Peterson: we can joke about me when you agree to take what i said seriously
(00:56:14) Crystal Snider: I do, Im not talking to him.
(00:56:38) Crystal Snider: and Im coming out... whether I want to or not now I guess (heh) cause he needs me
(00:56:44) Eric Peterson: yeah, but that's more de facto than actually listening to me
(00:56:45) Crystal Snider: I hope my new boss will let me off
(00:57:06) Eric Peterson: hopefully
(00:57:09) Crystal Snider: I dont know what you are looking for me to say..
(00:58:20) Eric Peterson: just 'okay' would be fine
(00:58:45) Crystal Snider: I cant help but worry about him especially when Other friends express concern
(00:58:51) Crystal Snider: even if I dont do anything about it :/
(00:59:08) Crystal Snider: thats what you do when you care about others, you worry about them...
(00:59:52) Eric Peterson: worrying is /fine/, worrying is human. just let him come to you
(01:00:00) Eric Peterson: okay?
(01:00:05) Crystal Snider: Oh I will, and I have been
(01:00:21) Crystal Snider: but it still bothers me he;s not more upset I guess is what I am trying to say
(01:01:10) Crystal Snider: I let him tell me about his dad, then I had to go help my mother
(01:01:15) Crystal Snider: and he hasnt talked to me since
(01:01:20) Crystal Snider: nor have I talked to him
(01:01:23) Crystal Snider: *shrug*
(01:02:24) Eric Peterson: brb
(01:08:19) Eric Peterson: anyway
(01:08:27) Crystal Snider: anyway
(01:08:38) Crystal Snider: would you like to hear a really weird thing that happened today?
nonsense