FACADE STAGEPLAY
Mon Jul 16 19 24 20 2007
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
(Andrew knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE
God... Trip!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Andrew!!
TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! It's been a while how's it going?
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
GRACE
Andrew,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!
TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing?
GRACE
I just asked him that...
TRIP
I can ask too!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
GRACE
Well, make yourself at home, come on in!
TRIP
Huh, I'll close the door.
GRACE
So, please, make yourself at home...
(Trip closes the front door.)
TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.
TRIP
Heh heh, Andrew, seeing you brings back good memories, -- (interrupted)
PHONE
** RING **
GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --
TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.
PHONE
** RING **
GRACE
Trip, no, I want --
TRIP
Grace, come on, don't be rude.
TRIP
It's probably just one your art gallery friends, it seems like they're always calling you.
PHONE
** RING **
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
PHONE
** RING **
ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **
ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!
ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **
ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,
GRACE
Oh, it's your parents! I'll get it --
TRIP
Grace, Grace, come on, I don't want to talk to them right now...
GRACE
I want to say hello --
TRIP
No no, come on, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...
ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...
TRIP
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.
GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --
TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't know 'black tie only' from... black bean chili.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Oh, Andrew, take a look at this photo I just put up from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago...
GRACE
(little sigh)
TRIP
Andrew, -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Andrew, -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Trip, darling, your obsession with that photo of yours is making our friend uncomfortable.
TRIP
(little sigh) Well this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.
GRACE
Trip, don't exaggerate... it was just a weekend getaway.
TRIP
uhh...
(Trip shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP
Probably true.
TRIP
Huh!
GRACE
(little sigh)
GRACE
(big sigh)
GRACE
Oh God, Andrew, this isn't much fun for you, is it?
TRIP
What?
GRACE
Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend.
TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...
GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --
TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing.
TRIP
We're -- we're -- we're not disagreeing.
TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus.
(Trip shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP
Heh... No doubt about it.
TRIP
Huh... I don't know about that...
GRACE
Trip, what is your fascination with that stupid toy...?
TRIP
I like it, I can carry it around.
GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, I can't help it, I'm forever buying new furniture and redecorating,
GRACE
I -- I really enjoy it --
TRIP
Yeah, it's in your blood, you grew up with this stuff.
GRACE
Andrew, now be honest with me, agree that this room just does not work!
TRIP
Grace, come on, what are you talking about?
GRACE
All day at work I design ads for decorative objects, like these sculptures,
GRACE
and then I think, I want to design them into my apartment --
TRIP
Oh yeah, yeah, everybody always says how much they love Grace's sculptures!
GRACE
but... now I can't take the sight of them! They're revolting!
TRIP
Oh come on! Jesus why can't you just be happy with them? They're fine!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Grace, everything's fine, no one is complaining about your decorating!
GRACE
No, he is just being courteous... this room is not --
TRIP
Uhh, Grace, come on, people like it, you're the only one --
GRACE
You know, Trip, if you hadn't convinced me to go into advertising, I could have painted that painting on the wall instead of buying it!
TRIP
You're never happy...
TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!
TRIP
Your... goddamn decorating...
TRIP
You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever satisfied with anything.
GRACE
(impatient sigh) Andrew, can you believe this?
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
GRACE
You and your damn parents...
GRACE
Sometimes I feel like our whole marriage is just for show! I don't know what you really feel!
TRIP
Oh, god...!
TRIP
Goddamn italy...
TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and distant! I do, I really try!
GRACE
Oh, yeah, yeah, right!
TRIP
Alright, you know what, Andrew,
TRIP
I'm going to ask you something.
GRACE
Trip --
TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.
TRIP
Andrew, yes or no...
TRIP
Each person in a marriage is supposed to try really hard to be _in sync_ with the other, right?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
I mean, when you're married, to make it good, you need to always be positive, and agreeable, and _together_, right?
TRIP
Yes or no.
TRIP
Look, don't bother answering, I don't need to hear it!
TRIP
Uhh, Grace, any time I talk about our wedding, or our engagement, you hate it, hate it! How do you think that makes me feel? What am I supposed to think, Grace?
GRACE
Oh, I can't believe...!
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get out of my sight!
GRACE
I can't take you anymore!
GRACE
Oh, God!!
GRACE
uhh!
GRACE
Andrew, I -- I'm sorry... this is a disaster...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Look, maybe you should just leave...
GRACE
Oh, God...
TRIP
What? I can't hear a goddamn word you're saying!
GRACE
Good!
GRACE
Andrew, (annoyed sigh) Trip is just so...
TRIP
Oh ho, so we're talking about me, are we?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is... you're not an artist.
GRACE
Uhh...!
TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.
GRACE
Andrew, uhh...
GRACE
Andrew, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn years.
GRACE
Andrew, what, is there something I should do?
GRACE
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.
GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!
TRIP
What, I'm not allowed to be angry?
GRACE
You tell me what to do, you don't listen.
TRIP
Andrew, I'm not telling her what to do, I'm trying to help her!
GRACE
Uhh...
GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.
GRACE
Andrew, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --
TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --
GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --
TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)
GRACE
Uhh...! God...!
GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.
GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!
TRIP
What...?
GRACE
Trip, it is such an act!
TRIP
Oh my God... Andrew, what... uhh...
TRIP
No, I want us to focus on Grace.
GRACE
You know, Trip, whenever I really try to talk honestly about things, you... you don't want to hear it!
TRIP
What?
GRACE
Andrew, I think I'm the only one who is trying to be the most honest here.
TRIP
Uhh...
TRIP
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both.
GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine...
TRIP
You think I'm not good enough...!
GRACE
I never said that! I'm saying there's more to you than all this...
TRIP
Let's talk some more about us both.
TRIP
Andrew, look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she's never satisfied.
GRACE
Trip, ... ugh ... I'm so sick of this.
TRIP
Well, heh, I -- I mean, we -- heh -- we -- we've got everything...
GRACE
Trip, you just don't... uhh.
TRIP
Andrew, what, is there something I should do?
GRACE
Let's keep the focus on us, our relationship.
GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.
TRIP
Afraid of my parents?! My parents are idiots.
GRACE
No, it's true...
TRIP
Look, let's talk about Grace now.
TRIP
Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a simpler lifestyle.
GRACE
What? Trip, you know what I --
TRIP
Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't live any other way.
GRACE
Okay, stop, I -- I can't do this anymore, goddammit!
GRACE
Andrew, I know what you're hinting at...
GRACE
about me...
GRACE
Do you really want the honest truth? Huh?
GRACE
Andrew, are you ready for that?
GRACE
Trip, huh?
TRIP
Yes...!
GRACE
Andrew, yes or no?
GRACE
See, Andrew, I've been listening carefully to what you've been saying tonight.
GRACE
You've been trying to push me.
GRACE
And I wonder, are -- are you really my friend...?
TRIP
Grace!
GRACE
Andrew, I've got to ask you -- yes or no...
GRACE
Do you really think that...
GRACE
and you don't even say 'yes' when I ask you if you want the truth...
GRACE
that I'm supposed to realize something about myself from all that?
GRACE
Was the little you've said tonight intended to mean something, or...
GRACE
Is it? I just want a yes or a no.
GRACE
This is not a trick question.
GRACE
No? Huh, well, I thought it did add up to something, actually.
GRACE
Alright... look... (big sigh)
GRACE
Andrew, Everything's fine, we're not... uhh... we're fine...
TRIP
Yeah... yeah.
GRACE
I -- I think it's okay if you... need to go...
GRACE
Look, Andrew, nothing's changed, we're fine... we'll see you out.
TRIP
Thanks for coming over... it, it -- it was fun.
GRACE
Come on, Andrew, the evening's over... there's nothing more to say...
TRIP
Uh, it's great you came over, but it's time to call it a night.
(Grace opens the front door.)
GRACE
So we'll... we'll call you later, or something.
TRIP
Andrew, please...
GRACE
Oh, Andrew, just go, please...
(Trip closes the front door.)