WHY DO MEN WAKE UP IN THE MORNING
WITH AN ERECTION?
You must be referring to nocturnal tumescence! Or do you mean Private Willie Is Playing Reveille, or perhaps Morning Glory? There are many names for this morning starter, but only one good explanation for its presence.
These erections are experienced in the REM (rapid eye movement) phase of sleep. REM sleep is more frequent just before waking up.
Erections can also happen at other times without any stimulus. There is no scientific reason why these spontaneous erections always seem to happen in the most embarrassing places (parties, holidays, movies, weddings, funerals).
Professor Leyner has written extensively on the subject. The noted scientific research journal Maximum Golf contained this exerpt:
Announcer B: If you’re just joining us, Michael Neubauer is still in bed—but we’ve got an interesting development here.
Announcer A: That’s an erection, Bobby. That’s a classic morning erection. You couldn’t diagram it any better than that. The corpora cavernosa and the corpus spongiosum are engorged with blood and rigid. Absolutely paradigmatic. What do you think?
Announcer B: I think you just have to give it a good whack here, Chris.
Announcer A: Apparently you’ve got the ear of Michael Neubauer, because that appears to be precisely what he’s going to do.
Announcer B: I really like what he’s trying right now. He’s running this frenetic montage of actresses, models, and athletes through his mind: We’ve got Renée Zellweger, Neve Campbell, Liv Tyler, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Britney Spears, Salma Hayek, Foxy Brown, Niki Taylor, Lil’ Kim, Melissa Joan Hart, Charlize Theron, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Zaha Hadid, Benazir Bhutto, Se Ri Pak, Karrie Webb, Serena Williams, Anna Kournikova, Jelena Dokic, Mary Pierce. Now he’s going way back: we’ve got some high school yearbook action; we’ve got some baby-sitter action. He’s just totally scouring the memory bank here—there’s one of his grandmother’s mah-jongg partners with the arm wattles. . . .
Announcer A: What are you trying to do in this situation?
Announcer B: You’re trying to get some erotic traction. You’re looking for that face or that body that just clicks, y’know, that you can fixate on, and then you try to get the voice, the incantatory exhortations, “Michael . . . oh yeah . . . oh Michael . . . oh my God!”
Announcer A: How do you like his mechanics right now, Bobby?
Announcer B: Excellent. He’s got a very good rhythm going right now.
Announcer A: Marvelous touch. You sense he has everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Announcer B: One caution here. You want to avoid the computer and the books over there—
Announcer A: I think we’re reaching critical mass, Bobby.
Announcer B: They don’t come much better than that, Chris. Absolutely marvelous shot!