Something

on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.]stats/Si):#:{
  var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    if ($nick !isop $.chan && $nick !ishop $.chan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me) {
      notice $nick $logo This is a staff command!
      halt
    }
    else {
      if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
        set %stats.display. $+ %i $&
          $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
        if ($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2) == -e) {
          set %stats.exp. $+ %i yes
          if (($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$4,$3),1) == <) || ($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$4,$3),1) == >)) {
            set %stats.sign. $+ %i $left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$4,$3),1) $mid($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$4,$3),2)
            set %Stats.nick. $+ %i $iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$5,$4)
          }
          else {
            set %Stats.nick. $+ %i $iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$4,$3)
          }
        }
        else {
          if (($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2),1) == <) || ($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2),1) == >)) {
            set %stats.sign. $+ %i $left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2),1) $mid($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2),2)
            set %Stats.nick. $+ %i $iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$4,$3)
          }
          else {
            set %Stats.nick. $+ %i $iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2)
          }
        }
        sockopen stats. $+ %i www.o-ss.net 80
        set %nick $+ stats. $+ %i $nick
      } 
    }
  }
}


on *:SOCKOPEN:Stats*: {
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /parsers/stats.php?user= $+ $($+(%,stats,.,nick,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) HTTP/1.1
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: www.o-ss.net
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
}
on *:SOCKREAD:Stats*: {
  var %sockread
  sockread %sockread
  if (*mining* Iswm %sockread) {
    set %stats.yes. $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) kindof
  }
  if (*overall* iswm %sockread) {
    set %stats.yes. $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) yes
  }
  if (($($+(%,stats,.,yes,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes) && (*end* !iswm %sockread)) {
    if (($($+(%,stats,.,sign,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2)) && ($gettok(%sockread,$iif($($+(%,stats,.,exp,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes,4,3),32) $left($($+(%,stats,.,sign,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2),1) $mid($($+(%,stats,.,sign,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2),2))) {
      Set %stats.msg. $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) $($+(%,stats,.,msg,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $c1($gettok(%sockread,1,32) $+ :) $c2($gettok(%sockread,$iif($($+(%,stats,.,exp,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes,4,3),32))
    }
    else {
      Set %stats.msg. $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) $($+(%,stats,.,msg,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $c1($gettok(%sockread,1,32) $+ :) $c2($gettok(%sockread,$iif($($+(%,stats,.,exp,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes,4,3),32))  
    }
  }
  if (($($+(%,stats,.,yes,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == kindof) && (*end* !iswm %sockread)) {
    if (($($+(%,stats,.,sign,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2)) && ($gettok(%sockread,$iif($($+(%,stats,.,exp,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes,4,3),32) $left($($+(%,stats,.,sign,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2),1) $mid($($+(%,stats,.,sign,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2),2))) {
      Set %stats.msg2. $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) $($+(%,stats,.,msg2,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $c1($gettok(%sockread,1,32) $+ :) $c2($gettok(%sockread,$iif($($+(%,stats,.,exp,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes,4,3),32))
    }
    else {
      Set %stats.msg2. $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) $($+(%,stats,.,msg2,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $c1($gettok(%sockread,1,32) $+ :) $c2($gettok(%sockread,$iif($($+(%,stats,.,exp,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) == yes,4,3),32))
    } 
  }
  if (*END* Iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,stats,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Stats For:) $c2($($+(%,stats,.,nick,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2))
    $($+(%,stats,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $($+(%,stats,.,msg,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2)
    $($+(%,stats,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $($+(%,stats,.,msg2,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2)
  }
}