Something

on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.]define/Si):#:{
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    if ($nick !isop $.chan && $nick !ishop $.chan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me) {
      notice $nick $logo This is a staff command!
      halt
    }
    else {
      var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
      set -u10 %define.display. $+ %i $&
        $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
      if (!$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-)) { $($+(%,define,.,display,.,%i),2) $logo $c1(You must provide a word!) | Halt }
      if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
        set -u10 %word. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2) 
        sockopen define. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 o-ss.net 80
      }
      Else {
        var %z = 1
        while (%z <= $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +1)) {
          if (%z > 3) {
            var %z = $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +2)
          }
          else {
            set -u10 %nick.define. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $nick
            set -u10 %word. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),%z,42)
            sockopen define. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z o-ss.net 80
            inc %z
          }
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
on *:SOCKOPEN:Define*: {
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /parsers/define.php?word= $+ $($+(%,Word,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) HTTP/1.1 
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: o-ss.net
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
}
on *:SOCKREAD:Define*: {
  var %sockread
  sockread %sockread
  if (*end* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,define,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Sorry no results for) $c2($($+(%,Word,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(were found.)
  }
  Elseif (*[DEFINE]* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,define,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Definition of) $c2($($+(%,Word,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $+ $c1(:) $gettok(%sockread,2-,32)
    sockclose $sockname
  }
}
on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.](spell|Spellcheck)/Si):#:{
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
    set -u10 %spell.display. $+ %i $&
      $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
    if (!$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-)) { $($+(%,define,.,display,.,%i),2) $logo $c1(You must provide a word!) | Halt }
    if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
      set -u10 %nick.spell. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $nick
      set -u10 %word. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3,$2) 
      sockopen spell. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 www.spellcheck.net 80
    }
    Else {
      var %z = 1
      while (%z <= $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +1)) {
        if (%z > 3) {
          var %z = $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +2)
        }
        else {
          set -u10 %nick.spell. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $nick
          set -u10 %word. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),%z,42)
          sockopen spell. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z www.spellcheck.net 80
          inc %z
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
on *:SOCKOPEN:spell*: {
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /cgi-bin/spell.exe?action=CHECKWORD&string= $+ $($+(%,Word,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) HTTP/1.1 
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: www.spellcheck.net
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
}
on *:SOCKREAD:spell*: {
  var %sockread
  sockread %sockread
  if (*is spelled correctly.* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,spell,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c2($($+(%,Word,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(Is spelled correctly.)
    sockclose $sockname
  }
  if (*</BLOCKQUOTE>* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,spell,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c2($($+(%,Word,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(Is misspelled, possible results:) $c2($($+(%,answers,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2))
    sockclose $sockname
  }
  Elseif (*<BR>* iswm %sockread) {
    if ((<font color=#990033> iswm %sockread) || (*is misspelled* iswm %sockread)) {
      halt
    }
    else {
      set -u10 %answers $+ . $+ $gettok($sockname,2,46) $+ . $+ $gettok($sockname,3,46) $($+(%,answers,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) $htmlfree(%sockread)
    }
  }
}
on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.]yahoo/Si):#:{
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    if ($nick !isop $.chan && $nick !ishop $.chan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me) {
      notice $nick $logo This is a staff command!
      halt
    }
    else {
      var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
      set -u10 %yahoo.display. $+ %i $&
        $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
      if (!$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-)) { $($+(%,define,.,display,.,%i),2) $logo $c1(You must provide a search item!) | Halt }
      if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
        set -u10 %nick.yahoo. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $nick
        set -u10 %yahoo. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),1,42),$chr(32),$chr(43))
        sockopen yahoo. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 www.search.yahoo.com 80
      }
      Else {
        var %z = 1
        while (%z <= $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +1)) {
          if (%z > 3) {
            var %z = $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +2)
          }
          else {
            set -u10 %nick.yahoo. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $nick
            set -u10 %yahoo. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),%z,42),$chr(32),+)
            sockopen yahoo. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z www.search.yahoo.com 80
            inc %z
          }
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
on *:SOCKOPEN:yahoo*: {
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /search?p= $+ $($+(%,yahoo,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) $+ &fr=yfp-t-501&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8 HTTP/1.1
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: www.search.yahoo.com
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
}
on *:SOCKREAD:yahoo*: {
  var %sockread
  sockread %sockread
  if (*We did not find results for:* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,yahoo,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Sorry no results for) $c2($($+(%,yahoo,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(were found.)
  }
  Elseif (*<em class=yschurl>* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,yahoo,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Yahoo results for) $c2($($+(%,yahoo,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $+ $c1(:) $c2($htmlfree(%sockread))
    sockclose $sockname
  }
}
on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.]google/Si):#:{
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    if ($nick !isop $.chan && $nick !ishop $.chan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me) {
      notice $nick $logo This is a staff command!
      halt
    }
    else {
      var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
      set -u10 %google.display. $+ %i $&
        $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
      if (!$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-)) { $($+(%,define,.,display,.,%i),2) $logo $c1(You must provide a search item!) | Halt }
      if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
        set -u10 %nick.google. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $nick
        set -u10 %google. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),1,42),$chr(32),$chr(43))
        sockopen google. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 www.google.co.uk 80
      }
      Else {
        var %z = 1
        while (%z <= $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +1)) {
          if (%z > 3) {
            var %z = $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +2)
          }
          else {
            set -u10 %nick.google. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $nick
            set -u10 %google. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),%z,42),$chr(32),$chr(43))
            sockopen google. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z www.google.co.uk 80
            inc %z
          }
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
  on *:SOCKOPEN:google*: {
    Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /search?hl=en&q= $+ $($+(%,google,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) $+ &btnI=I%27m+Feeling+Lucky HTTP/1.1
    Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: www.google.co.uk
    Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
  }
  on *:SOCKREAD:google*: {
    var %sockread
    sockread %sockread
    if (*did not match any documents.* iswm %sockread) {
      $($+(%,google,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Sorry no results for) $c2($($+(%,google,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(were found.)
    }
    Elseif (*location:* iswm %sockread) {
      $($+(%,google,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Im feeling lucky results for) $c2($($+(%,google,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $+ $c1(:) $c2($gettok(%sockread,2,32))
      sockclose $sockname
    }
  }
on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.]wiki/Si):#:{
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    if ($nick !isop $.chan && $nick !ishop $.chan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me) {
      notice $nick $logo This is a staff command!
      halt
    }
    else {
      var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
      set -u10 %wiki.display. $+ %i $&
        $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
      if (!$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-)) { $($+(%,define,.,display,.,%i),2) $logo $c1(You must provide a search item!) | Halt }
      if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
        set -u10 %nick.wiki. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $nick
        set -u10 %wiki. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),1,42),$chr(32),$chr(43))
        sockopen wiki. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 www.google.co.uk 80
      }
      Else {
        var %z = 1
        while (%z <= $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +1)) {
          if (%z > 3) {
            var %z = $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +2)
          }
          else {
            set -u10 %nick.Wiki. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $nick
            set -u10 %wiki. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),%z,42),$chr(32),+)
            sockopen wiki. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z www.google.co.uk 80
            inc %z
          }
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
on *:SOCKOPEN:wiki*: {
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /search?hl=en&q= $+ Wiki+ $+ $($+(%,wiki,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) $+ &btnI=I%27m+Feeling+Lucky HTTP/1.1
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: www.google.co.uk
  Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
}
on *:SOCKREAD:wiki*: {
  var %sockread
  sockread %sockread
  if (*did not match any documents.* iswm %sockread) {
    $($+(%,wiki,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Sorry no results for) $c2($($+(%,wiki,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(were found.)
  }
  Elseif (*location:* iswm %sockread) {
    if (*wiki* iswm %sockread) {
      $($+(%,wiki,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(wikipedia results for:) $c2($($+(%,wiki,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $+ $c1(:) $c2($gettok(%sockread,2,32))
      sockclose $sockname
    }
    else {
      $($+(%,wiki,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Sorry no results for) $c2($($+(%,wiki,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(were found.)
    }
  }
}
on $*:TEXT:$(/^(\Q $+ $me $+ \E,? )?[!@.]YouTube/Si):#:{
  if ($readini(Status.ini,$network,$chan) == DChan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me) { halt }
  else {
    if ($nick !isop $.chan && $nick !ishop $.chan && $remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me) {
      notice $nick $logo This is a staff command!
      halt
    }
    else {
      var %i = $rand(10000,99999)
      set -u10 %YouTube.display. $+ %i $&
        $iif($left($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$iif($nick ison $.chan,$2),$1),1) == @,$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) != $me && $readini(Status2.ini,$network,$chan),.notice $nick,msg $chan),.notice $nick)
      if (!$iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-)) { $($+(%,define,.,display,.,%i),2) $logo $c1(You must provide a search item!) | Halt }
      if ($chr(42) !isin $2-) {
        set -u10 %nick.youtube. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $nick
        set -u10 %YouTube. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),1,42),$chr(32),$chr(43))
        sockopen YouTube. $+ %i $+ . $+ 1 www.youtube.com 80
      }
      Else {
        var %z = 1
        while (%z <= $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +1)) {
          if (%z > 3) {
            var %z = $calc($count($1-,$chr(42)) +2)
          }
          else {
            set -u10 %YouTube.define. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $nick
            set -u10 %YouTube. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z $replace($gettok($iif($remove($1,$chr(44)) == $me,$3-,$2-),%z,42),$chr(32),$chr(43))
            sockopen YouTube. $+ %i $+ . $+ %z www.youtube.com 80
            inc %z
          }
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
  on *:SOCKOPEN:YouTube*: {
    Sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /results?search_query= $+ $($+(%,youtube,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2) $+ &search=Search HTTP/1.1
    Sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: www.youtube.com
    Sockwrite -nt $sockname $crlf
  }
  on *:SOCKREAD:YouTube*: {
    var %sockread
    sockread %sockread
    if (*No Videos found for* iswm %sockread) {
      $($+(%,YouTube,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(Sorry no results for) $c2($($+(%,YouTube,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $c1(were found.)
    }
    if (*<a class="newvtitlelink" href="* iswm %sockread) {
      $($+(%,YouTube,.,display,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46)),2) $logo $c1(YouTube Results For) $c2($($+(%,YouTube,.,$gettok($sockname,2,46),.,$gettok($sockname,3,46)),2)) $+ $c1(:) $c2($remove($replace($gettok(%sockread,3,32),href=",Http://Www.YouTube.com),$chr(34)))
      sockclose $sockname
    }
  }
alias htmlfree {  
  var %x, %i = $regsub($1-,/(^[^<]*>|<[^>]*>|<[^>]*$)/g,$null,%x), %x = $remove(%x, ) 
  return %x 
} 
alias c1 { return 10 $+ $1- }
alias c2 { return 04 $+ $1- }
Alias logo return { 10[04Terror10]04: }