Something

alias bs {
  if ($1 <= 30) return Very little Bullshit
  elseif ($1 > 30) && ($1 <= 59) return Moderate Percentage of Bullshit
  elseif ($1 > 60) && ($1 <= 89) return Large Content of Bullshit
  elseif ($1 > 90) && ($1 <= 99) return Almost Full of Bullshit
  else return Full of Bullshit!!!
}

on *:TEXT:!bs*:#:{
  var %bspercent $r(0,100)
  msg $chan I have Determined That The Statement $2- contains %bspercent $+ % Bullshit $+($chr(40),$bs(%bspercent),$chr(41)))  
}