Sue,
Be careful about seeking spiritual advice online, especially here where it essentially a bunch of college kids arguing over definitions and details. Seek a religious figure you trust that knows your situation and get their advice.
Marriage is this: (Eph 5)
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mysterybut I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
If one spouse goes into a marriage ceremony without even knowing what marriage is can he give himself in marriage? If one person thinks marriage isn't "till death do us part" are they getting married or are they just shacking up with benefits? If one person doesn't want kids is he accepting of the fruits of marriage? If one person plans on "loving, cherishing, and honouring" their spouse only when its convienent or they can get something out of it, are they getting married?
We were talking about a theological situation and yours is a personal situation. You can't get advice online. You need to seek someone there.
In your personal situation I would not ask are you free to divorce and remarry, that is expressly contrary to the bible. I would ask were you even married to begin with. But most of all I would talk to someone competent in person.