/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date:
Summer 1994^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HSpring 1995
*/
#include
#include
#include "tilt.h"
#include "win31.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
char make_prog_look_big[16000000000];
/*
Reference:
Internal memo #99281-95
from: William H. Gates III
to: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
William H. Gates III wrote:
"I have serious doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition.
It might prevent customers to think that they actually bought
something _good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition
to be 'HARD'.
Carry on,
God^H^H^HBill
"
*/
#define INSTALL = HARD
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if(first_time_installation)
{
make_5_gigabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
show_bsod();
if(still_not_crashed)
{
display_error_message();
fuck_up(user);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
crash_system(immediately);
}
}
/*
Reference:
Internal memo #99683-95
from: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
to: William H. Gates III
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote:
"Dear Sir,Since we have found that this last piece of code within
the 'if'-statement will never execute, we descided NOT to include
it in the final code. This way we will save tleast another 5
megabytes of consumer-diskspace!
Thank you for listening to us,
the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project *\
"
/*
if(still_not_crashed)
{
write_cheer();
destroy_computer();
finished();
}
/
create_general_protection_fault();
}