Something

Apart of life is living with the regrets that we have ourselves caused to occur. With the foresight of the future there is not one of us that can honestly say they wouldn’t have done things even slightly differently. There becomes a point though, were u look at all your regrets and wonder “what if”. Today I have looked though mistakes and regrets and I uncovered a shocking truth, I have said mean and harsh things to people and sure I regret them, but my biggest regrets are the things I have left unsaid. It’s that moment when I should have told you “I love you” or “Please don’t let me go”. For those maybe the defining moments that things would have been a lot different if said. Sure once something is said, it’s out there and cannot be taken back, but if it never if said, it is never known, and it becomes a regret that you live the rest of your life with. 

There’s defining moments in everyone’s life, they shape us, and they make us who we are. My life has always been full of the “what if moments”. I’m afraid these moments have come and gone, which I will never be able to make up. What if I tried that little harder at school, what if I didn’t hurt my friends and what if instead of yell at my mother I told her I loved her. My triumphs don’t define me as a person, all the things I left unsaid do. 

People define you by the things you do and say. Your actions are the only way people can learn about you. For a true definition of a person we need to look past these actions, and look inside, for the only real character of a person, can be found on the inside.

Love can be the sweetest beautiful emotion or it can be the deadliest trap. It can leave you feeling fulfilled and rich, or empty and alone. Most people believe that loving someone that doesn’t love you back is the worst pain love can offer, yet I know there is at least one worse pain of love.  Loving someone that loves you back with all of their heart unconditionally is in one word heaven. There is a point though were heaven becomes hell. Someone screws up, usually me, and they one thing you thought would last forever becomes as fragile as glass. The love is there but one wrong move and it will shatter to millions of tiny pieces. The worst pain of all is loving someone, and through your own ignorance and selfishness losing them. Living with the fact that you hurt them deeply, then acknowledging the fact that the fault is yours, and yours alone. When you know that the only way to cause the one you love from continuing to hurt anymore is to leave and no longer be apart of there life.