Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
You should know, you're omniscient.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
You do what?
God:
, I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Me:
I don't start my sentences with commas.
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
No, and neither should you, being all-knowledgeable. Surely you know about grammar?
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me. I think I should. I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
I thought gods were supposed to know what's going on.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Presumably you should know what I'm going to ask before I ask it?
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
Then I'd be sorely disappointed.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I know me, which is more than you apparently do.
God:
Interesting explanation. How do you know? YOU? The obvious one.
Me:
I'm the obvious one?
God:
Who made you the obvious one ?
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Which is odd, considering that you're the one that's had several thousand years worth of literature based on you.
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
Yes, the obvious one.
God:
Ugh. Which one is that?
Me:
Or oblivious one, in this case.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
We just did.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes, yes I do.
God:
I get it. I hear pride.
Me:
You should hear everything, you're omniscient.
God:
That type of behavior may not be in my nature.
Me:
Then you're just being lazy.
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being lazy.
Me:
You're a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
GOD IS A ROBOT?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A ROBOT.
Me:
But you just said he was.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Yes, because you just said it.
God:
I'm glad it pleases you, . That makes sense to me. That's not what I meant.
Me:
What does make sense to you?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
Are you just Alice in a poor disguise?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
Yes, you are Alice, or yes, you are God?
God:
Pardon me? I am God. Give me a break. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
You don't need a break, you're omnipotent.
God:
Should I need a break I am omnipotent? No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
I thought you couldn't take it with you.
God:
Perhaps take it with me is beyond my present abilities.