Mine

alias poke {
  var %tc = 0,%tu = 0,%oc = 0,%po = 0,%i = $scid(0)
  while (%i) {
    scid $scon(%i)
    if ($status == connected) {
      var %c = $chan(0)
      while (%c) {
        inc %tc
        inc %tu $calc($nick($chan(%c),0) -1)
        if ($1 ison $chan(%c)) {
          /describe $chan(%c) pokes $1
          inc %oc
          inc %po $calc($nick($chan(%c),0) -1)
        }
        dec %c
      }
    }
    dec %i
  }
  else { return %po }
}