Mine

alias stats {
  var %x = 1, %i = 1
  var %Ocount = 0, %Hcount = 0, %Vcount = 0, %chancount = 0, %infcount = 0, %usercount = 0
  while (%i <= $scon(0)) {
    scon %i {
      while ($chan(%x) <= $chan(0)) {
        if ($me isop $chan(%x)) { inc %Ocount | inc %Ousercount = $nick($chan(%x),0) }
        elseif ($me ishop $chan(%x)) { inc %Hcount | inc %Husercount = $nick($chan(%x),0) }
        elseif ($me isvoice $chan(%x)) { inc %Vcount | inc %Vusercount = $nick($chan(%x),0) }
        if ($me isop $chan(%x)) || ($me ishop $chan(%x)) inc %infcount $nick($chan(%x),0,$iif($me isop $chan(%x),rvho,rv)))
        if ($me isvoice $chan(%x)) inc %infcount $nick($chan(%x),0,r)
        inc %usercount $nick($chan(%x),0)
        inc %Chancount
        inc %x
      }
    }
    inc %i
    var %x = 1
  }
  scid -r
  msg $active 14I have: Op in4 %ocount $+ 14, Halfop in4 %hcount $+ 14, Voice in4 %Vcount $+ 14, and regular in4 $calc(%chancount - %Ocount - %Hcount - %Vcount) 14out of4 %chancount 14channels over4 $scid(0) 14networks. I control4 $+(%infcount,/,%usercount) 14Inferior mortals4 ( $+ $ceil($calc((%infcount / %usercount)*100)) $+ % $+ )
}