It said: "What is this great task for which I, Deep Thought, the
second greatest computer in the Universe of Time and Space have been
called into existence?"
Lunkwill and Fook glanced at each other in surprise.
"Your task, O Computer..." began Fook.
"No, wait a minute, this isn't right," said Lunkwill, worried. "We
distinctly designed this computer to be the greatest one ever and we're
not making do with second best. Deep Thought," he addressed the computer,
"are you not as we designed you to be, the greatest most powerful computer
in all time?"
"I described myself as the second greatest," intoned Deep Thought,
"and such I am."
Another worried look passed between the two programmers. Lunkwill
cleared his throat.
"There must be some mistake," he said, "are you not a greatest
computer than the Milliard Gargantubrain which can count all the atoms in
a star in a millisecond?"
"The Milliard Gargantubrain?" said Deep Thought with unconcealed
contempt. "A mere abacus - mention it not."
"And are you not," said Fook leaning anxiously forward, "a greater
analyst than the Googleplex Star Thinker in the Seventh Galaxy of Light
and Ingenuity which can calculate the trajectory of every single dust
particle throughout a five-week Dangrabad Beta sand blizzard?"
"A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask
this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big
Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff."
The two programmers sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Then
Lunkwill leaned forward again.
"But are you not," he said, "a more fiendish disputant than the Great
Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler of Ciceronicus 12, the Magic and
Indefatigable?"
"The Great Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler," said Deep
Thought thoroughly rolling the r's, "could talk all four legs off an
Arcturan MegaDonkey - but only I could persuade it to go for a walk
afterwards."
"Then what," asked Fook, "is the problem?"
"There is no problem," said Deep Thought with magnificent ringing
tones. "I am simply the second greatest computer in the Universe of Space
and Time."
"But the second?" insisted Lunkwill. "Why do you keep saying the
second? You're surely not thinking of the Multicorticoid Perspicutron
Titan Muller are you? Or the Pondermatic? Or the..."
Contemptuous lights flashed across the computer's console.
"I spare not a single unit of thought on these cybernetic
simpletons!" he boomed. "I speak of none but the computer that is to come
after me!"
Fook was losing patience. He pushed his notebook aside and muttered,
"I think this is getting needlessly messianic."
"You know nothing of future time," pronounced Deep Thought, "and yet
in my teeming circuitry I can navigate the infinite delta streams of
future probability and see that there must one day come a computer whose
merest operational parameters I am not worthy to calculate, but which it
will be my fate eventually to design."
Fook sighed heavily and glanced across to Lunkwill.
"Can we get on and ask the question?" he said.
Lunkwill motioned him to wait.
"What computer is this of which you speak?" he asked.
"I will speak of it no further in this present time," said Deep
Thought. "Now. Ask what else of me you will that I may function. Speak."
They shrugged at each other. Fook composed himself.
"O Deep Thought Computer," he said, "the task we have designed you to
perform is this. We want you to tell us..." he paused, "...the Answer!"
"The answer?" said Deep Thought. "The answer to what?"
"Life!" urged Fook.
"The Universe!" said Lunkwill.
"Everything!" they said in chorus.
Deep Thought paused for a moment's reflection.
"Tricky," he said finally.
"But can you do it?"
Again, a significant pause.
"Yes," said Deep Thought, "I can do it."
"There is an answer?" said Fook with breathless excitement."
"A simple answer?" added Lunkwill.
"Yes," said Deep Thought. "Life, the Universe, and Everything. There
is an answer. But," he added, "I'll have to think about it."