Mine

#!/usr/bin/perl
# MALAYTALKS TWO POINT IZZO (by ian)
# usage: /malay <string> or $malaytalk(string)
# fear the malay code:

use LWP::Simple;

my $help = 'Usage: /malay <string>';

$VERSION = 1.0;
%IRSSI = (
   authors     => "xixel+neuLOL",
   name        => "malay.pl",
   description => "show song",
   license     => "GNU GPLv2 or later",
   url         => "blah"
);

%malay = (
	'hehe' => 'lorrr',
	'what' => 'wat',
	'll' => 'l',
	'heh' => 'ahax',
	'the' => 'da',
	'me' => 'meh',
	'please' => 'pls',
	'are' => 'r',
	'you' => 'u',
	'im' => 'ims',
	'\'' => '`',
);

%randmalay = (
	'lol' => 'ahakx|ahakz',
	'haha' => 'kowkow|k0wk0w',
	'love' => 'lub|luv',
	'uck' => 'ux|uxor'
);

Irssi::command_bind('malay',
	sub {
		my ($args, $server, $item) = @_;

		if($args eq 'help') {
			print $help;
			return;
		}

		$data = $args;

		foreach $eng (keys %malay) {
			my $mal = $malay{$eng};
			$data =~ s/$eng/$mal/ig;
		}

		foreach $reng (keys %randmalay) {
			my $rmal = $randmalay{$reng};
			my @randvals = split(/\|/, $rmal);
			$rmal = $randvals[int(rand(@randvals))];
			$data =~ s/$reng/$rmal/ig;
		}

		print $data;
	}
);