Untitled

#Script by cythrawll and honker from irc.cythnet.com
#Should be compatible for Linux systems and Xchat 2.0.8 and above
Xchat::register("cyth's epenis script","1.4","","");
Xchat::hook_command("epenis","epenis");

use Math::Complex;
my $home;
if( defined($ENV{HOME}) ) {
        $home = $ENV{HOME};
} else {
        die "\$HOME is not set.\n";
}

my $penisfile = $home . "/.epenis.txt";

sub epenis {
        my($os,$up,$in,$big,$cm,$bigcm);
        $os = get_os();
        $up = get_up();
        $big = get_big();
        if (!defined($big) || $up > $big){
                set_big($up);
                $big = $up;
        }
        $ever = sprintf("%.2f",sqrt(0.0005 * $big));
        $in = sprintf("%.2f",sqrt(0.0005 * $up));
        $cm = sprintf("%.2f",$in * 2.540);
        $bigcm = sprintf("%.2f",$ever * 2.540);
        Xchat::command("say Based on the uptime of my \002$os\002 box, my peniz is \002$in\002 inches ($cm cm) erect! Biggest erection ever was \002$ever\02 inches ($bigcm cm)!");
        return Xchat::EAT_ALL;
}

sub get_os {
  my ($version);
  open(VERSION, "uname -sr|");
  $version = <VERSION>;
  chomp $version;
  close VERSION;
  return $version;
}

sub get_up {
  open(UPTIME, "</proc/uptime") or die Xchat::print("ERROR: could not find \'uptime'\ in your path");
  @foo = <UPTIME>;
  my @uptime = split /\s+/, $foo[0];
  close UPTIME;
  return $uptime[0];
}

sub get_big {

        if ( -e $penisfile ) {
                open(IN, "<$penisfile") or die Xchat::print("cannot open file $penisfile: $!");
                my $big = <IN>;
                chomp $big;
                close IN;
                return $big;
        }

        return 0;
}

sub set_big {
        my($big) = @_;
        open(OUT, ">$penisfile") or die Xchat::print("cannot open file $penisfile: $!");
        print OUT "$big\n";
        close OUT;
}