June 30th, 1834
I had grown weary of that little town. There was nothing for me there, and nobody cared much for me. I had to leave. I stepped outside onto the frothy snow and bust a gut looking at the clown of a cow I had owned for three years. "I'm sorry Gary but time's have changed, I'm gonna have to leave you behind." The cow, as you would expect, was completely shocked. I couldn't leave him there, he would surely freeze. Something had to be done. Holding my integrity in one hand, and the cows nose in the other, I pulled as hard as I could. Not once in my life had I ever felt so alive; the grainy cold drifted throughout my body as my muscles clenched, slowly becoming more apparent. After about 5 minutes had gone by, I gave up. Why was the cow heavy, what was his reason for weighing so much? The world was such a mysterious place then. I slowly curled my hand into a fist. "Babs, you gotta go now," I stated gently, "this isn't preschool and I'm not your mommy." Gary made a vicious snorting sound and decided to start walking. Things have to happen sooner or later, I thought to myself.
June 35th, 1834
Babs and I were two peas in a pod. When he cried, I cried. When he slept, I slept. Thank god he's a cow, otherwise things might not have worked out. Love is a complicated thing, I learned this. When you can't choose the world you live in, you have to satisfy yourself. That's when things got tricky. Why did he pick me of all people? Did I have any unique qualities? His nose must either be strong or probably insane! Thoughts like these make my head feel warm and heavy, like a sack of heated potatoes. Did he even notice everyone leaving when they did? I try so hard to forget about that. The memories are my enemy, and my worst nightmare. I stopped walking and looked around. "Oh no!" I shouted really loud. Gary was gone and I had not known. I ran as fast as I could backwards-- and this was the opposite of the direction I was just walking. He was lying on the ground snoring really softly. I released my sighs and plopped down onto his meaty side with a big thump. "Don't do this to me." I raised my right foot and looked at the sole. How long ago had I cleaned my feet? It was an alluring shade of yellow and blue. Touching it, I was thrust into a world of despair. "Why must I go on like this?!" I yelled at nobody in particular. I stopped forcing my back up and laid down. My feet felt like they did when I was just a little boy, cold. I had never felt so alone in my life.
June 36th 1834
An amazing thing happened to me today. While walking down the neverending road of despair, I happened upon a small town with people inside. They were all just like me. Did they know anything I didn't? I bet they did. But what they knew though was probably things that had little importance. I look at all the big pictures, making sure to consider everything that's probably important. You can't spend your life thinking about how you want to spend your life. If that's what smart people do, I don't want to be smart. I don't think being smart is something someone can even be. Knowledge isn't valuable to me, especially now that I've got a cow as my sole companion. "Don't you like this place, Babs?" He stopped for a moment, thought about something, and turned to me with a strange look of expectation. I can't really help anyone, so why should I have to be sad about it. I'm who I am, and that's it. Thinking about things I can't do and how things could be if I could do them doesn't help anyone. I can't simply ask people for work in a town that doesn't know me. What if they don't like the way I look? What if they reject me and tell others to watch out for me? I'd become a total laughing stock. There's nothing I hate more in the world than being looked down upon. I raised my fists into the air and shouted at the top of my lungs the following: "I'm the best! Watch out!"