man... self realization is a bitch... i think i'm kind of a dick... and i would like to change that.
the heart of the matter is; i appreciate when people are straightforward with me and talk without sugar coating things. i'd like to say that i'm really good at taking the potential criticisms and never get defensive, but that's false. sometimes i'm better at it than other times, but... yeah.
so... being that type of person, or wanting to be the type of person who can handle blunt truths, i tend to act that way toward others. with often shit results. maybe i'm just stupid, but it took talking to someone else about this, to point out that sugar coating things is often the most efficient way to address problems and issues.
which seemed counter intuitive to me, because if you're not direct, you have to spend time to get to the guts. but... if you present things in a more digestible fashion, people are more likely to work with you to a conclusion of sorts. they aren't put on the defensive, and communication goes more smoothly.
pity it took me this long to realize that... and my habits are so ingrained it will take a lot of work to get beyond them, but... as they say in g.i. joe, knowing is half the battle.
so yeah, my name's chris, and i'm an asshole. i don't want to be.