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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: hey

Stranger: are you good at giving advice?

You: yeah, sure

You: what's the problem?

Stranger: the problem is kind of complex tbh

Stranger: it's a relationship deal

You: yeah

You: i'm listening

Stranger: oh ok

Stranger: well, it started out as a hookup kind of

Stranger: like 2 months ago

You: yeah

Stranger: thought it was a one time deal, but he didn't think so

Stranger: got my number and texted me like every day or couple of days wanting to hang out

Stranger: and we did, had fun kind of

Stranger: but it was awkward without

Stranger: it was just hard to build off of a hookup

Stranger: for me at least

You: yeah, i get you

Stranger: so i called it

Stranger: and then a couple of weeks went by

Stranger: and we didn't talk at all really

Stranger: well, actually

Stranger: like a week after he texted me wanting to try again and i agreed

Stranger: and then it just never happened

Stranger: then it was his birthday, he had this huge thing at his house and invited some of my really good friends

Stranger: then we didn't talk for a couple of weeks

You: yeah

Stranger: do you want me to keep going?

You: yeah sure

You: just letting you know i'm still here

You: haha

Stranger: oh ok haha

Stranger: i just feel like idk

You: nah it's cool

Stranger: i'll try to keep it lively hah

Stranger: ok so i was kind of mad about that

Stranger: i went to chicago to visit my friend

Stranger: and told her all about it

Stranger: so she accidentally on purpose texted him

Stranger: and then kind of talked

Stranger: and he said again that he wanted to see me

Stranger: like not quite a week goes by

Stranger: and one of his family members dies in a car accident

You: ouch, bad timing

Stranger: which is how his dad died when he was little so it probably had an extra effect on him

Stranger: yeah it wasn't good

Stranger: so i texted him in sympathy, we talked about it

Stranger: he ended with something like thanks for caring you're one of the only ones

Stranger: a couple of days later, i texted him just to check up on him

Stranger: and he seemed like, idk, pretty down

Stranger: but asked if we could hang out

Stranger: so we did last night

Stranger: but it was the most awkward thing ever

Stranger: because i'm just not sure what this even is

Stranger: we were with his friends

Stranger: and they left us alone at one point

Stranger: and we just chilled together, but neither of us mentioned anything about what had happened

Stranger: any of it

You: this all does seem really complicated, i can see why you're struggling with it

Stranger: it felt like it was guys night or something and i was the odd man out

Stranger: yeah i just dunno

Stranger: i didn't say that much because

Stranger: well it would take a lot of time to really say what i needed to say

You: yeah

Stranger: and might complicate things more

You: i get you

Stranger: plus, i didnt want to upset him after everything

You: yeah of course

Stranger: but when they left us alone, he was like, i don't know why they wanted us to be alone

You: i mean with anything like this you're treading on eggshells at the best of times, with the complicated relationship on top of it too? i don't envy that

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: it's just

Stranger: odd really

Stranger: well to add to that

Stranger: at the end of this week, i'm going back to school

Stranger: which is 3 hours away

Stranger: so we won't see each other for awhile and it can't really turn into anything

You: well

You: i mean with hookups and stuff

You: you can never really be sure how much the other person is expecting to get out of it?

You: you know

Stranger: yes

Stranger: i do now haha

You: like you'll get people saying they just want a night of fun and then it's like.. well no, they didn't really

You: some people think that's how to kick something off

Stranger: it complicates things so much

You: or sometimes they do think they just want a one off and it turns into something more for them

Stranger: at least for us

You: either way it's a hard way to kick something off because i mean, what are the chances you'll have anything in common?

Stranger: exactly

You: but then i guess you can have loads in common with someone and no chemistry at all

You: so if you get one and not the other sometimes you can build on it i guess?

Stranger: mm i guess

You: obviously it's not always worth the effort though

Stranger: like i'm just confused because on the one hand, he's like yeah i dunno why they're leaving us alone

Stranger: doesn't talk about anything that happened

You: do you reckon he asked them too?

You: leave you alone i mean

Stranger: no i don't think so

Stranger: i'm not sure

Stranger: i really don't know haha

You: so what do you think you want? kind of ignoring his feelings, do you want a thing with him or would you call it off at this point without the pressure?

Stranger: if he did though, watching some "top gear" whilst commenting wasn't really a great plan on his part

Stranger: i want

Stranger: well first, i want him to be emotionally stable

Stranger: before anything happens

You: yeah

Stranger: and he's not too much as far as i can tell

Stranger: he's down

Stranger: so i can't tell if i'm just like a temporary

Stranger: maybe she'll make me happy

Stranger: kind of person

Stranger: like relive old times

You: i get you

Stranger: like, no he didn't try anything last night

Stranger: but i still felt like he might like me like that

You: these kind of things are hard to stop once they start, i had an on and off thing with my ex that went on for fucking years, it's an easy thing to get sucked into.. and yeah, it was this whole "my grandad has died, i need comforting thing" and i felt so guilty that i kind of kept getting drawn back into it

You: looking back, i think we'd have both been better off without the other

Stranger: i think if we could just be like occasional friends

Stranger: maybe throw in a benefit here or there

Stranger: it would be perfection

You: i don't want to sound like a jerk but maybe the school thing is a good excuse?

Stranger: no i think you're right on that

Stranger: i'll miss him as a person though

Stranger: it's hard to explain

You: like if i were in your position i could imagine saying that because of all that stuff it'd be too hard to carry on something proper so we'll still see each other as friends every so often but there won't be enough time to build it into something bigger so you don't want him holding out for you but you want to be friends and be there for him while he's upset, all that bullshit

You: i totally get you

Stranger: but?

You: it's the same as with my ex, i felt like.. i wished we'd never got together in the first place because it meant i lost his friendship

You: we could never go back quite to how it was

You: it's a real regret for me now though

You: but that was something that was going on for years so i think you can still fix yours

Stranger: i just don't know what to do to fix it

Stranger: like, i want to hang out with him again

Stranger: but i just want it to be us

Stranger: and i want to tell him how i felt about everything

Stranger: and what i see happening

Stranger: but i don't know if it's the right time

You: i think you'll need to wait until he's a bit more settled to do that or he just won't take it well

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: we don't have more time though

You: yeah

You: it's a really difficult situation isn't it

Stranger: i hate leaving things hanging

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: like

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: haha

Stranger: i just felt like he still liked me like that last night

Stranger: he'd do little things

Stranger: looked at me a lot, smiled, laughed

You: yeah

Stranger: like idk

Stranger: teased me kind of

Stranger: i just feel like

Stranger: we really don't know how to be anything else

Stranger: so it's default

You: yeah

You: i understand that

Stranger: at the same time, i never sat next to him

Stranger: and he never invited me to

Stranger: but we hugged

Stranger: and he walked me out to my car

Stranger: and like idk

Stranger: he said he wanted to do something tonight

You: so it sounds like he likes you but doesn't want to push it

Stranger: which i found strange, as it was so awkward last night

Stranger: but we didn't at all

Stranger: i didn't contact him, he didn't contact me

Stranger: i'm just so confused

Stranger: and i can't ask him about it

You: i don't know, if he's just recently suffered a loss he's probably acting funny because of that too

Stranger: true

Stranger: that among other things

Stranger: he's been working like everyday

Stranger: so i'm sure he's feeling kind of drained

You: yeah, must be

Stranger: i know it can't happen

Stranger: but i feel like

Stranger: hah

Stranger: i want to just go back to old times for like an hour or two and cuddle

You: i know that feeling if it makes you feel any better, i'm sure he'd like that too though

Stranger: can't do it though can i

You: probably not to be honest

Stranger: what would you do?

Stranger: should i even bother texting him?

Stranger: i want to be there for him but not thereee for him

You: do you think there's a way you can keep it friendly without it turning into something else?

You: i mean if you think you can then sure but i'm guessing you can't

Stranger: i feel like it would be hard and/or awkward

Stranger: haha

You: i think the school thing is probably the best way then

You: just kind of being less and less in contact so he doesn't get too upset

You: seems like the gentlest way

Stranger: should i talk to him before i leave?

Stranger: should i stop texting him?

Stranger: see here's another thing

Stranger: back when we were doing our thing, he would always text me first

Stranger: i hate texting and he knows that

Stranger: but after everything i started initiating

Stranger: so i just

Stranger: really don't know, i feel like if i stop he'll think i don't want to be around him at all

Stranger: like it was a few weeks ago

Stranger: could i say something to him like

Stranger: i know there's a lot we need to talk about

Stranger: but right now i just want to be friends

Stranger: ?

You: yeah i think so

You: he must understand that you're going to be busy once you're back at school and everything, he's probably already expecting something

You: it's just really bad timing for you

You: he'd probably agree though, much as he won't be happy about it right away, it'll be the best thing for both of you

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: if we were to do anything we'd both regret it later

You: i think so too, yeah

You: it sounds like there's already an attachment there and it won't help either of you to deepen that

You: certainly not now anyway

Stranger: maybe it would be better if i didn't say much

Stranger: i wish i could but it's like

Stranger: i can't say too much, but i can't say nothing, either

You: i guess you just give him as much as he wants

You: like what you said earlier

You: try that and if he wants more of an explaination, i'm sure he'll ask

You: but if he's satisfied with that then that's it

Stranger: ok

You: just a "we'll talk about it when we can"

You: you know?

Stranger: yeah

You: it's a really shitty situation to be in though, i feel for you both

Stranger: i'm just bummed about the whole thing

Stranger: ha thanks

Stranger: i appreciate all of this

Stranger: i really do

You: no problem, i'm glad you're the first person i've spoken to on here not trying to show me a cock

Stranger: haha

Stranger: yeah no chance of that

You: :P

Stranger: should probably get some sleep though

You: yeah, good plan

Stranger: so tomorrow should i text him?

You: i think so yeah

Stranger: or should i wait

Stranger: ok

You: i think the sooner you get it all done the better

Stranger: just a hey how are you kind of thing

You: especially if you think you might need a while to plan what you'll say and what not

Stranger: or should i cut to the chase

Stranger: yeah

You: nah i'd try and chat a little first

You: i think

Stranger: ok

Stranger: i think you're right

You: obviously don't draw it out forever either though

You: that'll be shit for you too :P

Stranger: haha

Stranger: damned if i do, damned if i don't

Stranger: i think it would be easier to say it over text

Stranger: but in person is way more effective

You: yeah

You: i kind of hate texting

Stranger: as do i

You: i think it might be more comfortable for both of you though at first

Stranger: ok

You: these kind of things in person, you think you've planned out what you'll say and everything but you're there and you kind of get.. sidetracked?

You: and then it just doesn't happen

You: you get to hide behind your phone this way

You: haha

Stranger: or you just feel like you shouldn't

You: yeah

Stranger: haha

Stranger: yeah guess i will be

Stranger: that's how i felt last night

Stranger: god

You: i've been there

Stranger: just the longest pauses for part of it

Stranger: and then these weak attempts at small talk

Stranger: hate it

Stranger: i feel for you

Stranger: ok

You: good luck then, i hope i helped

Stranger: haha i think my hour is up

Stranger: thanks

Stranger: you definitely did

Stranger: have a lovely life x

You: you too

You: x