Hey man, I've been thinking a lot about what happened last night. I'm not sure why, but my guard was down & I behaved a little differently than I normally do. I don't regret what happened last night, as it was bound to happen at some point. I'm pretty sure I know how you feel about me, and up until this point I was pretty sure I knew how I felt about you. You are the guy that I would normally go for. You are kind to me but not overbearing. You have had a rough past and know what it feels like to want to escape, but you have gotten through that phase in your life and I look up to you for that reason. I'm not sure what it is about you guys, but something draws me to you. Perhaps it's because you guys all have something in common & that you make me believe that you care/cared about me. You feel safe & I feel comfortable around you. I say you remind me of Brandon because he was the same way. I connected with him because he knew what it felt to be alone, bullied, and to want to end it all. It is a pattern I go though with certain people. I'm not sure if these people find me or if I find them but somehow we end up together and the cycle repeats itself. This is something I am trying to break. Remember a while back when I started hanging out with Griffin a lot & some people started to think that him and I were dating? Well we were hanging out a lot because we get along well and can connect creatively. This was before you and I really started talking and I have somehow managed to develop a liking for the guy. He just seems completely different than what I am used to. I have never come to know someone like him before. It's scary because this feeling I get when I'm around him seems almost foreign. He makes me feel like I am 14 again and it's refreshing because I never thought I would feel that way again because I haven't since first meeting my ex, Tyler. I know that I have been kind of sending mixed messages & I apologize for that. I must admit that there is something there between us, but I can't have everything & I have to break the pattern. I truly believe that I should see how things play out with Griffin. He may be the one who can bring me out of the place I fell into. With his help, I am learning to trust again & it amazes me that each time I think he is going to run, he just runs closer to me. I hope you and I can still remain good friends. I love spending time with you, but I understand if you need some time to yourself. I'm sorry for not letting you know all this sooner, I think I was afraid of losing you or worse, hurting you. I will always be here for you if you ever need anything, but at this point, I think we should just remain friends. Take care. xx