Good evening to all the wonderful people gathered here. Some of you may know me. Most of you will not. But as John's best man, best friend, and unofficial counselor for many years I know him quite well. Now, I've known him since those years long ago when he first realized that he was a gay man and that he couldn't lie to himself any more. I've seen him make some bad choices, and some amazing ones. I've seen him date a man who somehow managed to LOOK like he smelled bad, a man who went absolutely crazy after eight o clock at night, and a man who still, to this day, tries to get with him. But finally, thankfully, amazingly, he has settled on a guy who's kind, sweet, understanding, who gives John his due, loves him with all his heart, and most of all, listens to him. He gives John his all and jumps wholeheartedly into his life, and John gives the same right on back. So, I drink to the most heartwarming couple I've known in my (age) years of life, to John and Kyle. May their summers be long, their winters short, and their smiles endless.
*walks off the podium, then turns around and walks back*
Oh, and "before you drunk dial, you must babysit it all over me."
*walks off straight faced*