All pastes #2023977 Raw Edit

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#2023977 ·published 2010-12-19 23:23 UTC
rendered paste body
on $*:text:/!(\S+)/S:#:$bartender($regml(1))
alias bartender {
  var %c msg # Please choose between:,%d describe #,%e $1
  goto $1
  :bar | return %c !Wine, !Vodka, !Beer, !Whiskey, !Rum, !Cocktails, !Sodas, !Smoothies, !Milk, !Water, !Juices, or !Food
  :cafe | return Welcome to the Koopa cafe. For TV type !Shows or !Movies For music type !Music. For food or drinks type !food or !bar
  :food | return %c !Sandwiches, !Platters, !Panini, !Pizza, !Desserts, or !Snacks   
  :beer | return %c !Guiness, !StPauliGirl, !KilliansIrishRed, !Heineken, !DoEquis, !Miller, !MillerLite, !MillerGenuineDraft, !RollingRock, !Yuenling, !Molson, !Corona, !Coors, !CoorsLite, !AllagashWhite !Budweiser, or !BudLight
  :wine | return %c !CabernetSavignon, !Champagne, !SparklingWine, !SparklingCider, !Riesling, !Chardonnay, !Sauvignon, !PinotNoir, !Merlot, !Shiraz, !Syrah, or !Zinfandel
  :whiskey | return %c !Charbay, !McCarthys, !Notch, !OldPotrero, !PeregrineRock, !StGeorge, !Stranahans, !TempleRye, !Wasmuds, or !WoodstoneCreek
  :Fanta | return %c !FantaStrawberry, !FantaOrange, !FantaOrangeZero, !FantaGrape, !FantaPeach, !FantaGrapefruit, !FantaApple, or !FantaPineapple
  :Margarita | return %c !ClassicMargarita, !CatalinaMargarita, !FrozenMargarita, !GreenIguanaMargarita, !MidoriMargarita, !PeachtreeMargarita, !PricklyPearMargarita, !RosasPomegranateMargarita, !StrawberryMargarita, or !TurquoiseMargarita
  :Daiquiri | return %c !ClassicDaiquiri, !StrawberryDaiquiri,!BananaDaquiri, !BlueberryDaquiri, !ChocolateCoveredStrawberryDaquiri, !DauqiriBlossom, !ChambordDaquiri, or !FlordiaDaquiri
  :Smoothies | return %c !StrawberryBananaSmoothie, !BlueberryBananaSmoothie, !RasperberryBananaSmoothie, !PeachMangoSmoothie, or !MangoSmoothie
  :cocktails | return %c !ArnoldPalmer, !Martini, !RumandCoke !Margarita, !WhiteRussian, !BlackRussian, !Bloodwyne, !MidoriLimedrop, !BubbleGumKamikaze, !ElectricScrewdriver, !SourApplePussycat, !BlueValium, !PeachZimaSprite, !FrothyLemonade, !JagerBomb, !Daiquiri, !Mudslide, !SexontheBeach, !CordialDaisy, !BlueberryTequilaSour, !PearSourball, !LongIslandIcedTea, !BloodyMary, or !MousersSuperUltraMegaUltimateMajorlyAwesomeCoctail 
  :Martini | return %c !BlueMartini, !SourAppleMartini, !VegasLemonDrop, !CosmopolitanMartini, !RedAppleMartini, !PurpleHooterMartini, !AstroPop, !SurferMartini, !CaramelAppleMartini, !MidnightExpresso, !AlmondJoyMartini, !GodivaMartini, !MintMartini, !SmokyMartini, !VesperMartini, or !LavaLampMartini
  :rum | return %c !Bacardi, !CaptainMorgan, or !Malibu
  :vodka | return %c !Absolute, !Belvedere, !GreyGoose, !Imperia, !Seagrams, !Skyy, !Smirnoff, or !specialbrew
  :sodas | return %c !CocaCola, !Pepsi, !Fanta, !MoutainDew, !DrPepper, or !RootBeer
  :CocaCola | return %c !Coke, !NewCoke, !CaffineFreeCoke, !CokeCherry, !CokeLime, !CokeVanilla, !CokeCitra, !CokeBlackCherryVanilla, !CokeBlak, !CokeLemon, !CokeRaspberry, !DietCoke, !CokeC2, !CokeZero, !CokeLightSango, !DietCokePlus, !CokeOrange, !DietCokeBlackCherryVanilla, DietCokeCitra, or !DietCokeVanilla
  :Pepsi | return %c !NormalPepsi, !CrystalPepsi, !PepsiBlue, !Pepselseifree, !PepsiTwist, !PepsiNatural, !PepsiWildCherry, !PepsiVanilla, !DietPepsi, !JazzDietPepsi, !PepsiMax, !PepsiOne, !PepsiKaffe, or !PepsiKona
  :MountainDew | return %c !MtnDew, !DietMtnDew, !Caffeine-FreeMtnDew, !Caffeine-FreeDietMtnDew, !MtnDewCodeRed, !DietMtnDewCodeRed, !MtnDewLiveWire, !MtnDewBajaBlast, !MtnDewMDX, !DewIced, !MtnDewVoltage, !MtnDewThinIceFreeze, !MtnDewThrowback, !MtnDewCherryFusion, !MtnDewDistortion, !MountainDewWhiteOut, or !MountainDewTyphoon
  :juices | return %c !Lemonade, !Limeade, !AppleJuice, !OrangeJuice, !StrawberryKiwiwJuice, !MangoJuice, !PineappleJuice, !StrawberryJuice, !TangerineJuice, !PomegranateJuice, !CranberryJuice, or !GrapeJuice
  :Lemonade | return %c !NormalLemonade, !StrawberyLemonade, !KiwiLemonade, !MandarinLemonade, !BlackCherryLemonade, !MangoLemonade, !PineapplePassionLemonade, or !RaspberryPinkLemonade
  :Limeade | return %c !NormalLimeade, !MintLimeade, !CherryLimeade, or !BlackberryLimeade
  :DrPepper | return %c !NormalDrPepper, !DietDrPepper, !DrPepperCherry, !DietDrPepperCherry, !Caffine-FreeDrPepper, !Caffine-FreeDietDrPepper, !CherryVanillaDrPepper, or !CherryVanillaDietDrPepper
  :RootBeer | return %c !AWRootBeer, !BarqsRootBeer, !IBCRootBeer, !MugRootBeer, !StewartsRootBeer, or !VirgilsRootBeer
  :Fries | return %c !LargeFries, !MedFries, !SmallFries, !SteakFries, or !CurlyFries
  :chocolate | return %c !WhiteChocolate, !DarkChocolate, !CaramelChoco, !AlmondChoco, !NormalChoco
  :chips | return %c !NormalChips, !SaltVinegarChips, !SourCreamAndOnionChips, and !BBQChips
  :Sandwiches | return %c !HamAndCheese, !Ham, !Turkey, !TurkeyBacon, !Bacon, !Beef, !PrimeBeef, and !Pork
  :Platters | return %c !RiceAndBeans, !RiceBeansAndFish, !RiceBeansAndChicken, or !RiceBeansAndShrimp
  :Panini | return %c !Italian or !HamCheesePanini 
  :Pizza | return %c !Cheese, !Pepperoni, !Sausage, !Pineapple, !CanadianBacon, !Olives, !AllToppingspizza, !KoopaDeluxe, !AllButCheese
  :Desserts | return %c !IceCream, !Gelato, !Pudding, or !Flan
  :Snacks | return %c !Chocolate, !Toblerone, !Chips, or !Fries
  :icecream | return %c !ChocoIceCream, !StrawbIceCream, !VanillaIceCream, !PremiumChocoBar, !NeopolitanIceCreamBar, !RockyRoad, !StarbucksIceCream, !ChocoChip, !CoconutIceCream, !BananaIceCream, or !MintChipIceCream
  :starbucksicecream | return %c !FrappucinoIceCream, !FrappMochaIceCream
  :coors | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Coors
  :ArnoldPalmer | return %d serves $nick an Arnold Palmer
  :BlueMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Blue Martini
  :SourAppleMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Sour Apple Martini
  :VegasLemonDrop | return %d fixes $nick a Vegas Lemon Drop
  :CosmopolitanMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Cosmopolitan Martini
  :RedAppleMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Red Apple Martini
  :PurpleHooterMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Purple Hooter Martini
  :AstroPop | return %d fixes $nick an Astro Pop
  :SurferMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Surfer Martini
  :CaramelAppleMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Caramel Apple Martini
  :MidnightExpresso | return %d fixes $nick a Midnight Expresso
  :AlmondJoyMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Almond Joy Martini
  :GodivaMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Godiva Martini
  :MintMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Mint Martini
  :LavaLampMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Lava Lamp Martini
  :SmokyMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Smoky Martini
  :VesperMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Vesper Martini
  :RumandCoke | return %d fixes $nick a Rum & Coke
  :ClassicMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Classic Margarita
  :CatalinaMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Catalina Margarita
  :FrozenMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Frozen Margarita
  :GreenIguanaMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Green Iguana Margarita
  :MidoriMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Midori Margarita
  :PeachtreeMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Peachtree Margarita
  :PricklyPearMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Prickly Pear Margarita
  :RosasPomegranateMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Rosa's Pomegranate Margarita
  :StrawberryMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Strawberry Margarita
  :TurquoiseMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Turquoise Margarita
  :WhiteRussian | return %d fixes $nick a White Russian
  :BlackRussian | return %d fixes $nick a Black Russian
  :Bloodwyne | return %d serves $nick a goblet filled with two parts blood mixed in with one part red wine
  :MidoriLimedrop | return %d fixes $nick a Midori Limedrop
  :BubbleGumKamikaze | return %d fixes $nick a Bubble Gum Kamikaze
  :ElectricScrewdriver | return %d fixes $nick an Electric Screwdriver
  :SourApplePussycat | return %d fixes $nick a Sour Apple Pussycat
  :BlueValium | return %d fixes $nick a Blue Valium
  :PeachZimaSprite | return %d fixes $nick a Peach Zima Sprite
  :FrothyLemonade | return %d fixes $nick a Frothy Lemonade
  :JagerBomb | return %d fixes $nick a Jager Bomb
  :ClassicDaiquiri | return %d fixes $nick a Classic Daiquiri
  :StrawberryDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Strawberry Daiquiri
  :BananaDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Banana Daiquiri
  :BlueberryDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Blueberry Daiquiri
  :ChocolateCoveredStrawberryDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Chocolate Covered Strawberry Daiquiri
  :FloridaDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Florida Daiquiri
  :ChambordDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Chambord Daiquiri
  :DaiquriBlossom | return %d fixes $nick a Daiquiri Blossom
  :Mudslide | return %d fixes $nick a Mudslide
  :SexontheBeach | return %d fixes $nick a Sex on the Beach
  :CordialDaisy | return %d fixes $nick a Cordial Daisy
  :BlueberryTequilaSour | return %d fixes $nick a Blueberry Tequila Sour
  :PearSourball | return %d fixes $nick a Pear Sourball
  :LongIslandIcedTea | return %d fixes $nick a Long Island Iced Tea
  :Guiness | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Guiness
  :StPauliGirl | return %d gives $nick a bottle of St. Paul Girl
  :KilliansIrishRed | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Killan's Irish Red
  :Heineken | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Heineken
  :DosEquis | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Dos Equis
  :Miller | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Miller
  :MillerLite | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Miller Lite
  :MillerGenuineDraft | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft
  :RollingRock | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Rolling Rock
  :Yuenling | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Yuenling
  :Molson | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Molson
  :Corona | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Corona
  :CoorsLite | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Coors Lite
  :Budweiser | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Budweiser
  :BudLight | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Budlite
  :AllagashWhite | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Allagash White
  :CabernetSavignon | return %d gives $nick a glass of Cabernet Savignon
  :SparklingWine | return %d gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Wine
  :SparklingCider | return %d gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Cider
  :Riesling | return %d gives $nick a glass of Riesling
  :Chardonnay | return %d gives $Nick a glass of Chardonnay
  :Champagne | return %d pops the cork and gives $nick a glass of champagne
  :Sauvignon | return %d gives $nick a glass of Sauvignon
  :PinotNoir | return %d gives $nick a glass of Pinot Noir
  :Merlot | return %d gives $nick a glass of Merlot
  :Shiraz | return %d gives $nick a glass of Shiraz
  :Syrah | return %d gives $Nick a glass of Syrah
  :Zinfandel | return %d gives $nick a glass of Zinafandel
  :Charbay | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Charbay
  :McCarthys | return %d gives $nick a bottle of McCarthy's
  :Notch | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Notch
  :OldPotrero | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Old Potrero
  :PeregrineRock | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Peregrine Rock
  :StGeorge | return %d gives $nick a bottle of St. George
  :Stranahans | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Stranahan's
  :TempleRye | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Templeton Rye
  :Wasmuds | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Wasmud's
  :WoodstoneCreek | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Woodstone Creek
  :Absolut3 | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Absolut
  :Belvedere | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Belvedere
  :GreyGoose | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Grey Goose
  :Imperia | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Imperia
  :Seagrams | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Seagram's
  :Skyy | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Sky
  :Specialbrew | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Special brew
  :Smirnoff | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Smirnoff
  :Bacardi | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Bacardi
  :CaptainMorgan | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Captain Morgan
  :Malibu | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Malibu
  :Coke | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke
  :NewCoke | return %d serves $nick a glass of New Coke
  :CaffineFreeCoke | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffeine-Free Coke
  :CokeCherry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Cherry
  :CokeLime | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke with Lime
  :CokeVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Vanilla
  :CokeCitra | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Citra
  :CokeBlackCherryVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Black Cherry Vanilla
  :CokeBlak | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Blak
  :CokeLemon | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke with Lemon
  :CokeRaspberry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Raspberry
  :DietCoke | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke
  :CokeC2 | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke C2
  :CokeZero | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Zero
  :CokeLightSango | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Light Sango
  :DietCokePlus | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Plus
  :CokeOrange | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Orange
  :DietCokeBlackCherryVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Black Cherry Vanilla
  :DietCokeCitra | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Citra
  :DietCokeVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Vanilla
  :NormalPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Normal Pepsi
  :CrystalPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Crystal Pepsi
  :PepsiBlue | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Blue
  :Pepselseifree | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Free
  :PepsiTwist | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Twist
  :PepsiNatural | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Natural
  :PepsiWildCherry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Wild Cherry
  :PepsiVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Vanilla
  :DietPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Pepsi
  :JazzDietPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Jazz Diet Pepsi
  :PepsiMax | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Max
  :PepsiOne | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi One
  :PepsiKaffe | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Kaffe
  :PepsiKona | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Kona
  :FantaStrawberry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Strawberry
  :FantaOrange | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Orange
  :FantaZero | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Orange Zero
  :FantaGrape | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Grape
  :FantaPeach | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Peach
  :FantaGrapefruit | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Grapefruit
  :FantaApple | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Apple
  :FantaPineapple | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Pineapple
  :MtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew
  :DietMtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Mountain Dew
  :Caffeine-FreeMtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffeine-Free Mountain Dew
  :Caffeine-FreeDietMtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffeine-Free Diet Mountain Dew
  :MtnDewCodeRed | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Code Red
  :DietMtnDewCodeRed | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Mountain Dew Code Red
  :MtnDewLiveWire | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Live Wire
  :MtnDewBajaBlast | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Baja
  :MtnDewMDX | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew MDX
  :DewIced | return %d serves $nick a glass of Dew Iced
  :MtnDewVoltage | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Voltage
  :MtnDewThinIceFreeze | return %d serves $nick a Mountain Dew Thin Ice Freeze
  :MtnDewThrowback | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Throwback
  :MtnDewCherryFusion | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Cherry Fusion
  :MtnDewDistortion | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Distortion
  :MtnDewWhiteOut | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew White Out
  :MtnDewTyphoon | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Typhooni
  :NormalDrPepper: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Normal Dr. Pepper
  :DietDrPepper | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper
  :DrPepperCherry: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Dr. Pepper Cherry
  :DietDrPepperCherry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry
  :Caffine-FreeDrPepper | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffine-Free Dr. Pepper
  :Caffine-FreeDietDrPepper | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffine-Free Diet Dr. Pepper
  :CherryVanillaDrPepper | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
  :CherryVanillaDietDrPepper | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper
  :NormalLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Normal Lemonade
  :StrawberryLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Strawberry Lemonade
  :KiwiLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Kiwi Lemonade
  :MandarinLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mandarin Lemonade
  :BlackCherryLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Black Cherry Lemonade
  :MangoLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mango Lemonade
  :PineapplePassionLemonade | return %d servers $nick a glass of Pineapple Passion Lemonade
  :RaspberryPinkLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Raspberry Pink Lemonade
  :NormalLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Limeade
  :MintLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mint Limeade
  :CherryLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cherry Limeade
  :BlackberryLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Blackberry Limeade
  :AppleJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Apple Juice
  :OrangeJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Orange Juice
  :StrawberryKiwiJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Strawberry Kiwi Juice
  :MangoJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mango Juice
  :PineappleJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pineapple Juice
  :StrawberryJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Strawberry Juice
  :PomegranateJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pomegranate Juice
  :CranberryJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cranberry Juice
  :TangerineJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Tangerine Juice
  :GrapeJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Grape Juice
  :Milk | return %d serves $nick a tall glass of cold milk
  :Water | return %d serves $nick a glass of ice cold water
  :StrawberryBananaSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Strawberry Banana Smoothie
  :BlueberryBananaSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Blueberry Banana Smoothie
  :RasperberryBananaSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Rasperberry Banana Smoothie
  :PeachMangoSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Peach Mango Smoothie
  :MangoSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Mango Smoothie
  :BloodyMary | return %d fixes $nick a Bloody Mary
  :MousersSuperUltraMegaUltimateMajorlyAwesomeCoctail | return %d fixes $nick a Mouser's Super Ultra Mega Ultimate Majorly Awesome Coctail
  :AWRootBeer | return %d serves $nick a glass of A&W Root Beer
  :BarqsRootBeer | return %d serves $nick a glass of Barq's Root Beer
  :IBCRootBeer | return %d serves $nick a glass of IBC Root Beer
  :MugRootBeer | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mug Root Beer
  :StewartsRootBeer | return %d serves $nick a glass of Stewart's Root Beer
  :VirgilsRootBeer | return %d serves $nick a glass of Virgil's Root Beer
  :Booze | return %d forces some booze down $nick 's throat
  :coffee | return %c !blackcoffee, !frappucinno, !mocha, !icedmocha, !javamocha, !caramelmocha, !latte, !cappuccino, !blackcoffeestrength
  :blackcoffeestrength | return %c 1 1 2 2 3 3 4 4 5 5 6 6 7 7 8 8 9 9 14 10 15 9001
  :blackcoffee3 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes sorta light
  :blackcoffee2 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes like !milk
  :blackcoffee1 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes like !water
  :blackcoffee4 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes nice and lukewarm
  :blackcoffee5 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes normal  
  :blackcoffee6 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes normal; sorta bitter.
  :blackcoffee7 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes strong
  :blackcoffee8 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; it tastes STRONG
  :blackcoffee9 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee;4 HOLY CRAP THIS IS STRONG!
  :blackcoffee10 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee;4 WTFOMG THIS IS RLY RLY RLY BITTER
  :blackcoffee9001 | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of black coffee; $nick dies out of bitterness
  :mocha | return %d serves $nick a nice steaming hot cup of mocha coffee
  :icedmocha | return %d serves $nick a nice freezing cold cup of Iced mocha
  :javamocha | return %d serves $nick a nice hot cup of Java Mocha
  :caramelmocha | return %d serves $nick a nice hot cup of Caramel Mocha
  :latte | return %d serves $nick a nice hot latte
  :cappuccino | return %d serves $nick a nice hot cappucinno
  :tea | return %c !Liptonicedteasweetened !Liptonicedteasunsweetened !Nesteaicedteasweetened !Nesteaicedteasunsweetened !Bouldo !ArizonaGreenTea !Arizonaicedteasweetened !Arizonaicedteaunsweetened !camomiletea !lemonhoneytea
  :Hamandcheese | return %d serves $nick a Ham and Cheese Sandwich
  :ham | return %d serves $nick a Ham Sandwich
  :turkey | return %d serves $nick a Turkey Sandwich
  :turkeybacon | return %d serves $nick a Turkey and Bacon sandwich
  :bacon | return %d serves $nick a Bacon Sandwich
  :beef | return %d serves $nick a Beef Sandwich
  :primebeef | return %d serves $nick a Grade A Prime Beef sandwich
  :pork | return %d serves $nick a Pulled Pork Sandwich
  :riceandbeans | return %d serves $nick a Rice and Beans Platter
  :ricebeansandfish | return %d serves $nick a Rice, Beans, and Fish platter
  :ricebeansandchicken | return %d serves $nick a Rice, Beans, and Chicken Platter
  :ricebeansandshrimp | return %d serves $nick a Rice, Beans, and Shrimp Platter
  :italian | return %d serves $nick an Italian Panini
  :hamcheesepanini | return %d serves $nick a Ham and Cheese Panini
  :cheese | return %d serves $nick a slice of Cheese Pizza
  :pepperoni | return %d serves $nick a slice of Pepperoni Pizza
  :Sausage | return %d serves $nick a slice of Sausage Pizza
  :pineapple | return %d serves $nick a slice of Cheese and Pineapple Pizza
  :canadianbacon | return %d serves $nick a slice of Canadian Bacon Pizza
  :olives | return %d serves $nick a slice of Black Olive Pizza
  :alltoppingspizza | return %d serves $nick a slice of Pizza with All Toppings
  :KoopaDeluxe | return %d serves $nick a slice of Koopa's Specialty Pizza
  :allbutcheese | return %d serves $nick a slice of Pizza with All Toppings but Cheese
  :gelato | return %d serves $nick some Neopolitan Gelato
  :chocoicecream | return %d serves $nick some Chocolate Ice Cream
  :strawbicecream | return %d serves $nick some Strawberry Ice Cream
  :vanillaicecream | return %d serves $nick some Vanilla Ice Cream
  :premiumchocobar | return %d serves $nick a Premium Chocolate Bar
  :neopolitanicecreambar | return %d serves $nick a Neopolitan Ice Cream Bar
  :rockyroad | return %d serves $nick some Rocky Road Ice Cream
  :Frappucinoicecream | return %d serves $nick some Frappucino Ice Cream
  :Frappmochaicecream | return %d serves $nick some Frappacino/Mocha Ice Cream
  :chocochip | return %d serves $nick some Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
  :coconuticecream | return %d serves $nick a Coconut Ice Cream Bar
  :bananaicecream | return %d serves $nick a Banana Ice Cream Bar
  :mintchipicecream | return %d serves $nick some Mint Chip Ice Cream
  :pudding | return %d serves $nick some Pudding
  :flan | return %d serves $nick some Flan
  :whitechocolate | return %d serves $nick a White Chocolate Bar
  :darkchocolate | return %d serves $nick a Dark Chocolate Bar
  :caramelchoco | return %d serves $nick a Caramel Chocolate Bar
  :almondchoco | return %d serves $nick a Almond Chocolate Bar
  :normalchoco | return %d serves $nick a Chocolate Bar
  :toblerone | return %d serves $nick a Toblerone Bar
  :normalchips | return %d serves $nick a bag of Chips
  :saltvinegarchips | return %d serves $nick a bag of Salt and Vinegar Chips
  :sourcreamandonionchips | return %d serves $nick a bag of Sour Cream and Onion  hips
  :BBQchips | return %d serves $nick a bag of BBQ Chips
  :largefries | return %d serves $nick a pack of Large Fries
  :medfries | return %d serves $nick a pack of Medium-Sized Fries
  :smallfries | return %d serves $nick a pack of Small Fries
  :steakfries | return %d serves $nick a pack of Steak Fries 
  :curlyfries | return %d serves $nick a pack of Curly Fries
  :pretzels | return %c !pretzelbites, !smallpretzels, !largePretzel
  :pretzelbites | return %c !hotdogpretzelbites, !cheesepretzelbites, !jalapenohotdogpretzelbites
  :smallpretzels | return %c !pretzelsticks, !pretzelloops, !pretzelsquares
  :largepretzels | return %c !normalpretzel, !saltpretzel, !garlicpretzel
  :hotdogpretzelbites | return %d serves $nick a pack of hot Dog pretzel bites
  :cheesepretzelbites | return %d serves $nick a pack of cheesey pretzel bites
  :jalapenohotdogpretzelbites | return %d serves $nick a pack of Jalapeno hot Dog pretzel bites
  :pretzelsticks | return %d serves $nick a pack of pretzel sticks
  :pretzelloops | return %d serves $nick a pack of pretzel's
  :pretzelsquares | return %d serves $nick a pack of pretzel squares
  :normalpretzel | return %d serves $nick a large pretzel
  :saltpretzel | return %d serves $nick a large salt pretzel
  :garlicpretzel | return %d serves $nick a large garlic pretzel
  :scones | return %c !normalscone , !blueberryscone , !cinnamonscone
  :normalscone | return %d serves $nick a scone
  :blueberryscone | return %d serves $nick a blueberry scone
  :cinnamonscone | return %d serves $nick a cinnamon scone
  :taco | return %c !beeftaco !steaktaco !chickentaco !tonguemeattaco !alpastortaco !dorados
  :beeftaco | return %d serves nick a Beef taco.
  :steaktaco | return %d serves nick a Steak taco.
  :chickentaco | return %d serves nick a Chicken taco.
  :tonguemeattaco | return %d serves nick a Beef Tongue taco.
  :alpastortaco | return %d serves nick an Al Pastor Beef taco.
  :dorados | return %c !beefdorado !steakdorado !tonguemeatdorado !alpastordorado
  :beefdorado | return %d serves nick a Beef dorado.
  :steakdorado | return %d serves nick a Steak dorado.
  :tonguemeatdorado | return %d serves nick a Beef Tongue dorado.
  :alpastordorado | return %d serves nick an Al Pastor Beef dorado.
  :realmilk | return %d serves $nick a heaping cup of 1,4H1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M1,5M1,4M
  :error | reseterror
}