Mine

alias c1 { return $+(14,$1-) }
alias c2 { return $+(07,$1-) }

on *:JOIN:#pest: {
  if (pegasus !ison $chan) {
    if ($nick == $me) || ($nick == Zeus) {
      halt
    }
    else {
      if ($len($nick) > 12) {
        notice $nick $c1(Usernames cannot be longer than) $c2(12) $c1(characters) $c2(-) $c1(Current characters used:) $c2($len($nick)) $c1(-) $c1(Please change your nick then type:) $c2(/hop) $c1(to be re-evaluated)
      }
      else {
        set $+(%,cmb.,%cmbcount,.nick1) $nick
        set $+(%,cmb.,%cmbcount,.chan) $chan
        set $+(%,cmb.,%cmbcount,.nick) $iif(` iswm $eval($+(%,cmb.,%cmbcount,.nick1),2),$replace($+(%,cmb.,%cmbcount,.nick1),$chr(96),$chr(95)),$eval($+(%,cmb.,%cmbcount,.nick1),2))   
        cmb $nick
      }
    }
  }
  else halt

}
alias cmb {
  sockopen $+(cmb.,%cmbcount) vulcan.ueuo.com 80
  inc %cmbcount
}

on *:SOCKOPEN:cmb.*: {
  if ($sockerr) { .msg $eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2) $c1(Socket Error on Port) $c2($sockerr) $c1(-) $c2($eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2) $+ :) $c1(Please type) $c2(/hop) $c1(in 1 minute) | halt }
  else {
    VAR %path = /geniestats.php?rsname= $+ $eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2)
    sockwrite -n $sockname GET %path HTTP/1.1
    sockwrite -n $sockname Host: vulcan.ueuo.com
    sockwrite -t $sockname $crlf
  }
}
on *:SOCKREAD:cmb.*: {
  if ($sockerr) { .msg $eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2) $c1(Socket Error on Port) $c2($sockerr) $c1(-) $c2($eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2) $+ :) $c1(Please type) $c2(/hop) $c1(in 1 minute) | halt }
  else {
    sockread %tmp
    if ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Attack\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.att) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
    elseif ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Defence\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.def) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
    elseif ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Strength\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.str) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
    elseif ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Hitpoints\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.hp) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
    elseif ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Ranged\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.r) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
    elseif ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Prayer\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.p) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
    elseif ($regex(%tmp,/Genie:Magic\|[^|]*\|([^|]*)\|[^|]*/ig)) set $+(%,$sockname,.m) $iif($regml(1),$regml(1),0)
  }
}


ON *:SOCKCLOSE:cmb.*: {
  set $+(%,$sockname,.ranger) $round($calc(0.4875 * $eval($+(%,$sockname,.r),2) + 0.250 * ($eval($+(%,$sockname,.hp),2) + $eval($+(%,$sockname,.def),2)) + 0.125 * $eval($+(%,$sockname,.p),2)),2)
  set $+(%,$sockname,.mage) $round($calc(0.4875 * $eval($+(%,$sockname,.m),2) + 0.250 * ($eval($+(%,$sockname,.hp),2) + $eval($+(%,$sockname,.def),2)) + 0.125 * $eval($+(%,$sockname,.p),2)),2)
  set $+(%,$sockname,.melee) $round($calc(0.325 * ( $eval($+(%,$sockname,.att),2) + $eval($+(%,$sockname,.str),2) ) + 0.250 * ( $eval($+(%,$sockname,.hp),2) + $eval($+(%,$sockname,.def),2)) + 0.125 * $eval($+(%,$sockname,.p),2)),2)

  $iif($eval($+(%,$sockname,.ranger),2) > $eval($+(%,$sockname,.mage),2), set $+(%,$sockname,.combat) $eval($+(%,$sockname,.ranger),2), set $+(%,$sockname,.combat) $eval($+(%,$sockname,.mage),2))
  $iif($eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2) > $eval($+(%,$sockname,.melee),2), set $+(%,$sockname,.combat) $eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2), set $+(%,$sockname,.combat) $eval($+(%,$sockname,.melee),2))

  if ( $eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2) >= 99.5 ) {
    mode $eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2) +v $eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2)
    .notice $eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2) Don't want to be banned from $c2($eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2)) $+ ? Read the rules by typing: !rules
    inc %voiced 1
    inc %used 1
    .write -c last.txt $eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2) 
    .write last.txt $iif(!$eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2),N/A,$eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2))
    .write last.txt $iif(!$eval($+(%,$sockname,.str),2),N/A,$eval($+(%,$sockname,.str),2))
    .write last.txt $iif(!$eval($+(%,$sockname,.r),2),N/A,$eval($+(%,$sockname,.r),2))
    unset %tmp $+(%,$sockname,.*)
  }
  else {
    inc %used 1
    .msg $eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2) $c1(Rsn:) $c2($eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2)) $c1($chr(124) Combat:) $c2($iif(!$eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2),N/A,$eval($+(%,$sockname,.combat),2))) $c1(Strength:) $c2($iif(!$eval($+(%,$sockname,.str),2),N/A,$eval($+(%,$sockname,.str),2))) $c1(Range:) $c2($iif(!$eval($+(%,$sockname,.r),2),N/A,$eval($+(%,$sockname,.r),2))) 
    .notice $eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2) The nickname $eval($+(%,$sockname,.nick),2) will not be voiced in $eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2) because you do not meet the requirement of: 100+ Cmb. If you feel you have received this message in error, please contact a(n) $eval($+(%,$sockname,.chan),2) operator.
    unset %tmp $+(%,$sockname,.*)
  }
}


on $*:TEXT:/^[@!]last/Si:#pest: {
  if (pegasus !ison $chan) { 
    var %send = $iif(($left($1,1) == @) && (($nick isop #) || ($nick ishop #)),.msg $chan,.notice $nick)
    %send $c1(Last RSN:) $c2($read(last.txt,1)) $c1($chr(124)) Cmb: $c2($read(last.txt,2)) $c1($chr(124)) Strength: $c2($read(last.txt,3)) $c1($chr(124)) Range: $c2($read(last.txt,4))
  }
  else halt
}

on *:TEXT:!joincount:#pest: {
  if (pegasus !ison $chan) {
    .msg # $c2($chr(40)) $+ $c1(PcScript) $+ $c2($chr(41)) $+ : $c1(Since 8/3/2006 I have voiced) $c2(%voiced) $c1(people out of) $c2(%used) $c1(total) $c2($chr(40)) $+ $c1($round($calc(%voiced / %used *100),2)) $+ $chr(37) $+ $c2($chr(41))
  }
  else halt
}