| | - addition
006
As for me, it's about |the same as| the neighbourhood I've always lived in <-- [or did you mean it's close? but from the bike ride, I think not]
it's the other way, closer to| the| natural order of things
as it might be by outsiders like Oshino's say, that the difference often becomes the root of the problems. <-- [Is there... a word missing? Because I'm not quite sure what this is saying even after reading it a few times...]
coming back at the former cram school <-- at = to
The cushion of rear seat was one taken as-is from Senjougahara's place. <-- of = used as a?
as back in the evening <-- back = earlier? [maybe]
we crawled \inside the slot \through the same hole in the wire netting <-- [Isn't having both a bit redundant?]
Oshino's wear <-- wear = garb? [maybe; in any case, wear is not usually used as a noun alone like that, i.e. without sportswear, evening wear, etc.]
That was my| field/area of| university study <-- [perhaps]
brushes my appearance up <-- brushes up my appearance
you and me <-- me = I [because I think he *would* actually use correct grammar rather than be colloquial]
iffy propriety <-- iffy = questionable? [I didn't quite see him as someone who would use iffy is all]
strewing salt on a young lady's head <-- {Just for myself - what is this ._.}
a bit of overreaction to her <-- to = from? for?
your integrity's getting better <-- {I think this is a story question - is he indirectly answering the question just asked in the previous sentence? That's she's being more honest in her expressions or something?}
Senjougahara trying to peek on me during the shower <-- {OFC she would!}
disappears in the darkness of the building <-- in = into
can you really go that easy at it <-- be that easygoing about it?
outside in the midnight <-- outside at midnight, or in the middle of the night
it's a darn obvious notion I want to get it done asap as an adult. <-- notion, that as an adult, I
asap <-- ASAP
Oshino shrugs without as much as turning <-- so much as
Your's Shinobu-chan <-- Your's = Your [already possessive]
It's just our young lady wavering on her own volition. <-- should be "of" her own volition, but I'm not sure what the sentence is talking about so... After reading the rest: volition implies more free choice in a decision, do you mean more like wavering in her strength of will?
putting it like that was what she had wanted wasn't nice <-- like = as if [otherwise prompts the initial misreading "putting it like that/ was what she had wanted/ wasn't nice" (which doesn't make any sense) or at least I had to read it several time before the way it was intended to be read clicked]
New Years wishing <-- Year's
broad-swinging bunch <-- broad-swinging?
coral colony of humanity <-- coral colony?
she had found the resolve <-- "the?" her, maybe?
Desks and chairs were all dragged off to the blackboard <-- up to? or maybe "in front of" After reading: As she was thrown "to the farthest point of the room - the blackboard" perhaps "dragged away from the blackboard"
making up an essential altar <-- is that "essentially" (might as well have been) or essential as in necessary? (if the latter an = the; if the former "essentially making up an altar")
so orderly the room didn't look like it's got readied in a hurry within half a day <-- it had been hurriedly/hastily readied/prepared within ("only"?) half a day
gave the room a fading lighting <-- lighting =light. suggest "flickering" or somesuch for flames instead of fading, illuminated instead of gave?
a border thing <-- thing?
all wounded up <-- wound up (next two occurence as well)
In the course of action completely different <-- The development/progression of action/events was completely different
Myself being a non-religious guy <-- suggest "Even with me being" to flow slightly better with the last part of the sentence
modern youths who won't tell kami <-- can't?
won't it be better without me here <-- wouldn't
Because the case just might occur. <-- I know it's building off of "just in case" but... situation?
at least I think it was not meant to shield Senjougahara <-- for shielding Senjougahara
to commit suicide due tomorrow <-- due tomorrow? perhaps by?
while the suicider is alive <-- ** Not a word, but not sure how to reword >.<
bandy <-- usually bandy is back and forth so she can't really do it by herself?
So I'll cancel that decision. <-- The reward is that she won't? Or what does she mean?
And the bandying thing was in the premise. <-- premise?
a monkey-like cunning; You <-- you
You're acting/ it/ like I said
did I even once get myself likened to a dog <-- What's he... asking (incredulity she would go so far?)
usual one-man stun gun pretence <-- **
then an even worse insult comes up as an effect <-- worse insult results/ is the result
wine out of the sacrifices <-- from among
Oshino watched her do <-- do so
still facing front <-- forward
his back away from - shouldn't it be back to?
the way to do so may be completely different, but that was the same for me and Hanekawa <-- that = it
that means how vital it is for him <-- means=shows?
Nothing will work then. <-- would
No wonder if they wither soon <-- It would be no wonder if they sputtered out soon (wither doesn't... really work for torches)
You will, answer, my questions. <-- commas deliberate I presume?
"July\,\ seventh."
downcase pose <-- downcast
Then I learn that Oshino only meant that question to have a meaning. <-- meant for only that question to be important? **
That was no mood where you could keep silent. <-- That referring to his tone of questioning? Or this mood that's been built up?
stopped so low as to ruin the family <-- stooped
Even worse than she got her weight stolen? <-- getting her weight stolen
Her strength of wariness. <-- perhaps heightened wariness
Blood went down his forehead and he squirmed. <-- flowed? (just more... descriptive than "went")
That was a scene not just Oshino could have figured out--but to Senjougahara that had consequences. <-- what is "that" referring to exactly - him figuring it out (hence her answering) or the scene
It was destroyed--despite it was destroyed, still, and again, the breakdown is going on. <-- it being destroyed
"She never learned better--not even felt ashamed." <-- never even felt ashamed or not even to feel ashamed
maybe things would not go down to this at least? <-- things would not have. something more action than "go" - tumbled?
Maybe it wouldn't fall in ruin. <-- actually I think the "in ruin" (several occurences) should probably be "into"
Then that was--your feelings, young lady <-- those were
Her whole body trembling <-- her
Can't identify. "I can't see-anything." -- (two dashes?)
Although it's your skill <-- Although = As if? skill = talent? [not learned]
vector of gravity was at work <-- vector? {*draws the physics diagram of a ball in her head* lol yes, but, there's got to be a better way to say it...}
Wonder if something good had happened. <-- {Had happened... where?}
as she--was flung even harder <-- flung? wasn't she already stationary/pinned?
From my point, Oshino put on a pantomime <-- point of view
"Are you alright?" Oshino asks Senjougahara <-- all right
twisting his cheek creepily <-- cheek = face
"Wait," went a voice out of Oshino's shadow. <-- went = came
007
Time series. **
as improbable to happen around as it was <-- have around/be lying around
everyone once knew her by the name <-- by the name?
with a nine lethal outcomes out of ten probability. <-- a probability of nine lethal outcomes out of ten
Although I was at Senjougahara's place and could see her Senjougahara naked in much detail, and saw a faint surgery scar on her back, and probably paid it some attention, but it would be rather cruel to demand that much of me. ** -her before Senjougahara (I don't quite get how the last phrase fits in with the flow of thought. I think I know what it means, but as it is worded now... there's a disconnect somewhere.)
at least the keynote was "leave 'em hanging" <-- add "but" in front? keynote?
Then, three years into the grade school. <-- into middle school
but everything was already over during \her \middle school
With something really bad happens, they seal their memories of it away, as the dramas and stuff reinstate too often. **
he is surprisingly clumsy <-- clumsy? referring to what? or rather how does that contrast easy-going?
that, if anything, shows Senjougahara's sympathy <-- sympathy?
If she was through painful times <-- was = went?
008
I pushed myself up and then standing <-- standing = stood