Hello, please read the following with an objective perspective, and evaluate yourself as only you can.
I'll start with something simple: I'm here to find the best candidate for a meaningful, mutual and fun relationship. Coming from "The Best Place on Earth" (google it, lol) to Shanghai feels like a significant downgrade in nearly everything. I'm here in Shanghai for x years, mainly to learn Hanyu (汉语). That said, I'll cut straight to the points.
Things about me you might have interests in:
-I was raised in Vancouver, Canada (obviously a citizen)
-Personal liquid assets are roughly ~600,000 RMB(1 CAD = 6 RMB)
-Family's soon-to-be-inherited liquid assets are roughly ~27,000,000 RMB in several properties
-Personal income was ~336,000 RMB a year before coming here
-Primary house is 4bdrm, 6bthrm, 3 floors incl. bsmt, ~7500sqft(livable space; not deceptive like in Shanghai) on a ~10000sqft lot; to convert to sqm just divide by ~10.6 then add 10-30% deception factor
-5 cars; only 2 & 3 are in my name:
1. 2007 Mercedes 500SL, 2. 2009 Toyota FJ Cruiser, 3. 2000 Acura 3.5RL, 4. 1998 Honda Accord, 5. 1989 GMC Van
-I like playing golf
-I can fly 2-8 seater planes in Canada
-I love scuba diving in the Caribbean and have certs for it; Sanya wasn't that great
-I've done a fair bit of travelling; not a huge fan of it, but not necessarily strictly opposed either
-Went to university but dropped out after just over a year to pursue personal & joint business ventures; might go back and complete in the near future
-Parents are originally Shanghainese so I have a bit of family and a bunch of good acquaintances here, like high ranking police and administrators; I help them when I can if they need serious English
-I hold doors open for people
-I'm a fan of personal hygiene
Hopefully, to save time for both you and I, you'll also read this paragraph. Because no healthy, mutual relationship can exist solely on material wealth, I'll give a short executive summary of what I'm like personality-wise. First, I'm a strong proponent of reason and flexibility. And, since I'm open-minded, I'd like to think I'm open to virtually anything. Flexibility? People say I come off as stubborn at times for not believing them and their old wives' tales but I don't go out of my way to be thickheaded. I have been known to be a "flexible giver" in the past. I also believe in mature communication & conflict resolution. I've been witness to countless pointless arguments, horror stories, and bad endings that were the result of a simple misunderstanding, or from simply failing to communicate maturely.
Now that I've put some of my cards on the table, the hard part begins.
**
What am I looking for in a woman? First, based on the amount of personal chemistry, several levels exist:
Tier one would be a girlfriend good enough to be exclusive, that has the potential to reach marriage - this is obviously the cream of the crop, the rarest of the rares, and the main reason why I'm slaving away typing this up. I hope I'm not wrong in thinking the possibility of finding one is worth investing in.
Tier two, three, etc. needs not an explanation in this increasingly lengthy piece.
Most people (especially Chinese, from my observations) marry into tier two or three situations most probably due to ignorance, impatience, pressure, lack of foresight or plain laziness (and they pay for it later). Nothing explicitly wrong with that, but I figure since I'm still relatively young I have enough time to look for #1.
You'll hopefully want to be #1. Being #1 is the hardest, but reaps the most benefits. It's not the kind of work that involves carrying bricks, planting fields, or knowing about the LHC in Europe. It's a different kind of hard work to become a solid conversationalist, an impressive industrialist, or a graceful dignitary, etc. People would be proud to know you. All great men have grit, tenacity, influence, and leadership. All great women have these traits too, though they can be more subtle. This might all sound like it's from a fairy tale and otherwise detached from reality, but bear in mind that there's nothing unreasonable or unrealistic with self-improvement. Indeed, in order to persevere, hope, and aim high is what humanity is all about. To move forward in time, to have the freedom to make our own choices, to apply our knowledge and skills for a positive change in the world while shaping lives for the better, is that not what everyone seeks to do? and is that not what makes us uniquely human? This is waist-deep in the philosophy of progress, change, and
As much as I hate to make lists that categorize and appear to demean, I also live in the real world. So you need to have at least some (all) of the following to qualify for a date:
-relatively high self-esteem; In china, most parents don't emphasize this in their kids, for whatever reason
-relatively good looking; C'mon, I'll need to be able to brag to my friends back home, just like you'll brag with your friends here
-you have to be mentally stable
-quick learner when motivated
-you know your way around Shanghai, at least until I do
-know basic international dating etiquette or common sense
-bill of good health
-speak enough English (preferably not waiting for me to get better at mandarin) to facilitate "real" communication
-flexible giver; I think I just realized this is just a euphemistic buzzword that means "unequivocally trusting and supportive of a man's ideas"-sounds slightly misogynistic when i put it that way
-not dangerously ill-tempered
I've worked with image consultants and runway model agencies in the past, so I'm not accustomed to, er, rotund figures. It's not really being vain or shallow, despite all the people probably thinking that right now. It takes hard work and knowledge understand how to exercise and eat properly and frequently in order to stay fit, lean, and healthy. Before the self-righteous, feel-good, do-nothing excuse-makers chime in with easy-to-digest bull about genetics or metabolism, I can confidently say that no medical doctor or scientific institution has ever conclusively drawn a link to either of these two scapegoats. But hey, it makes some people feel good about themselves so it's not a big issue. Therefore, calling a person vain or shallow just because they care about appearance probably arises out of ignorance, bandwagoning, and insecurity. Everyone(except blind couples, though they should) cares about appearance to a degree, and I'm not really going overboard.
Superstition is just not for me, or for any woman-to-be.
Don't be surprised to find that the important stuff lies in these paragraphs, and not necessarily the point-form lists. Information like how on the first date, I don't want it to be a strict interview process (though that'd be cool if you were really impressive and funny). Since we're both young (or not), the emphasis can still be on having fun and enjoying life, so relax. Also, common sense dictates that I should mention I'm pretty good at seeing through whether someone just in it for the money or greencard... which, in my opinion, they'd be better off looking for some more middle-aged and braindead like them. A pro stands to gain what, 200-1000 RMB tops, from a single person? What I'm offering is for a woman to escape her potentially boring fate to live and experience things outside of China, to truly understand the concept of freedom & civil liberties (which defacto don't exist in China), the only catch is she has to earn it, want it, and deserve it. Those are the only requirements since, frankly, I don't care about your past; I only look forward, for a better future.
In short, the best woman is the one that will help motivate and help me to achieve more than I would otherwise, and vice versa.
Anyone who really scrutinizes what I've posted or been to the really blinging neighbourhoods will know that I'm definitely not the richest guy, nor do I come from the richest family, but barely considered above-average where I come from. I'm can come off as frugal because I try not to make bad investments, or waste money. We don't do a lot of pointless spending, which is the main reason why we even have what we have, instead of 10 cars and mountains of other rapidly-depreciating and soon-to-be-worthless assets/junk.
With these final words, I hope that everyone who reads this can take something from it and become a better person. Regardless of one's goals in life, we're on the same planet after all, thus the more people that subscribe to mutual respect and tolerance, the better the world will be. It's not just a western or foreign tenet to act in the spirit of fraternity, and to be in the pursuit of happiness, but a distinctly and advancedly human one for all to apply.
p.s. If anyone has reacted negatively to what I've wrote, whether out of ignorance or bias, because I've offended you or unintentionally touched a sensitive area, please keep in mind that it is not in my best interest to pointlessly incense others and that I've nothing to gain from it. I'm not a judgmental person, nor do I discriminate and look down on others. All I can ask for is the favour to be returned, and not leave with spiteful thoughts, whether it's caused by bigotry, prejudice, xenophobia, or otherwise.