I'm at work. It is soooooo cold and windy today. Yesterday was 60 I think and today is 18 with a wind chill of -15. I'm staying here in my office unless I absolutely have to go out. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Good thing I keep emergency food here.I can't think of much really. I was thinking that I am interested in hearing more details of why you are thinking of getting a "Real Job"-LOL. And all that. You know though, if you get a real job, you might not be able to come see me-takes awhile for that vacation time and all to accrue. What else am I thinking. Well, still thinking that I wish you'd call or let me call. I sooooo want to hear your voice. That could be your Christmas present to me-aren't I cheap???!! I'm not holding my breath here though-sigh!!!And I have just started planning going to Southern California this summer. My 18yo has a last hurrah type of thing for his National Vice President type thing he does. I could tell that he really wanted some family there-kind of a big deal with honors and such. And sooooo-going to take the other kids and stay a few days extra. I have to start trying to save the money and plan and such. I am excited-I'll get to see my old stomping ground per say and maybe even a few old friends?! When I lived in California, one of my best friends was named David. We were close friends and some people where we both worked thought that there was more going on with us, but there wasn't. I don't know really. I think we felt really close and when you are good friends with someone of the opposite sex, I think there may always be that underlying possibility, but idk. He was a great friend though-Jewish. Went to his parents on some Jewish holiday and had potato latkes. I don't know if I spelled that right. My other friends that I hope to maybe see are the family I lived with. Martha and her daughter Cheryl and maybe her son Brian. I think Brian moved to Chicago though. He called me once from there. Brian was a good friend too. Odd family-but then what family isn't maybe a little odd. Martha was sweet and probably overly kind. Her ex husband Richard was a guy who liked younger guys-boys really. He went to Thailand and Mexico frequently to feed his addiction to younger guy gay sex. Cheryl and Martha were both really really big ladies. Cheryl was so beautiful though and smart. She could speak Spanish fluently and it was probably a good thing as she only dated Mexican guys who recently crossed the border. We were pretty good friends until I'd say one of her boyfriends tried something with me one night and I told him to get lost pretty much. I told Cheryl about it and the greasy guy told her that it was a misunderstanding and she didn't believe him, but didn't break it off. She was more mad at me really-like I would of wanted him-ew! Brian was a recovering sex addict (so many types of recovery out there in the land of fruits and nuts). Actually, he was pretty cool and good to me. There was always an understanding between us that something more might happen between us if I ever gave the go ahead. I didn't really think of him that way and didn't get a big head-he was a sex addict after all-LOL. We were close though. He drove me to the mountains once as a surprise because I made a comment that you couldn't really see the stars much in L.A. You can see them nicely in the mountains though. And there was snow in the mountains. I didn't really miss the snow though-LOL. There was also this guy in our apartment building-Walter. He was an actor and even now I see him on TV and in commercials and such. I talked to him one day in the laundry area. And then shortly after that he invited me over to watch a football game-because I am so into football (not). And that is when I found out that he liked me a little more or I should say differently than I was thinking of him (and nothing much happened with him btw). He called me a bit when I moved home. And I am realizing that I am telling you "Men stories" maybe to make you jealous-idk. For me really, just remembering getting attention and not even really realizing at the time that I was getting attention. Weird like. And from what I tell you, I don't want you to start thinking that I am like this incredibly beautiful woman or that I think I am. I think that I am attractive enough. I've been told by several guys that what really attracted them to me was the fact that I am just open, compassionate and loving. And that I sometimes let my vulnerability show. And two guys said it was because I just seem to be in this happy world by myself-sort of oblivious sometimes to what is going on around me. What does that mean really-that I am ditzy-like. Don't know if that is a complement or not really. Have you ever noticed that people that you really like-well once you get to know them and like them and love them-you don't notice physical imperfections so much. Well-maybe that is just me and how I think. And so I am sharing more stories from my past with you. Hope it's not too boring. I was thinking of just deleting it all, but maybe you'll have some time when you are extremely bored and want to read these ramblings of a wistful woman. I love you David muy mucho!!! I think that's right. Why am I writing all this, idk idk idk. Memories-they mean allot to me, I suppose. Mwwaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, (K) (L)-I don't want another boy toy baby!!!!! Just you!!! <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL