Sent: November-10-08 2:51 PM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Canadian Jokes
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Canadian Jokes
PM
Subject: Canadian Jokes
CANADIAN JOKE # 1
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his
arm.Hisfriend Doug stops him and asks, 'Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?'
'I got it for my wife, eh.' answers Bob.
'Oh!' exclaims Doug, 'Good trade.'
CANADIAN JOKE #2
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon
and asked
'Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?'
'Sure it's easy.' replied the neurosurgeon. 'All I have to do is cut
out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie..'
He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation.
However,the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient'sbrain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain.
He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the
patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him 'I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentallycut out 2/3 of your brain.'
The patient replied 'Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?'
CANADIAN JOKE #3
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were
pulling the pins and throwing them back.
CANADIAN JOKE #4
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as
they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each
of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started
shaking it over the pint, yelling, 'SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!'
CANADIAN JOKE #5
A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for
some pepper.
'Black pepper, or white pepper?' asked the concierge.
'Toilette pepper!' yelled the Quebecer.
CANADIAN JOKE #6
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident.
They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of
them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the
toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished,
the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
'Well,' said the American, 'I remember the crash, and then there was
a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were
standing at the gates of heaven. St.Peter approached us and said
that we were all too
young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to
earth.
So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next
thing
I knew I was back here.'
'That's amazing!' said the one of the doctors, 'But what happened to
the other two?'
'Last I saw them,' replied the American, 'the Scot was haggling over
the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay
his.'