Mine

alias statsclear { unset %stats.* | sockclose $sockname }
alias rsstats {
  if ($sock(stats).status != $null) { notice $nick The stats script is currently in use | halt }
  set %stats.nick $nick
  set %stats.send notice $nick 
  set %stats.name $replace($1,$chr(32),+) 
  set %stat.color1 $chr(3) $+ 14 
  set %stat.color2 $chr(3) $+ 7
  set %stats.channel $chan  
  sockopen stats vulcan.ueuo.com 80
}
on *:sockopen:stats:{
  sockwrite -n $sockname GET /geniestats.php?rsname= $+ %stats.name HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -n $sockname Host: vulcan.ueuo.com
  sockwrite -n $sockname Connection: Close
  sockwrite -t $sockname $crlf
}

on *:sockread:stats:{
  if ($sockerr) {
    %stats.send Socket Error - Try later | statsclear
  }
  else {
    var %tmp
    sockread &tmp
    bwrite $sockname $+ . $+ %stats.name -1 -1 &tmp
    bread $sockname $+ . $+ %stats.name -1 -1 &read
    if ($bfind(&read,1,<b>Personal).text) { mode %stats.channel +v %stats.nick }
    else { echo -a %stats.name doesn't appear on the stats for any.. stats.. yer >_> | statsclear }
  }
}