(defconst emacs-threats
'["because you deserve a brk today."
"the definitive fritterware."
"... it's not just a way of life, it's a text editor!"
"the only text editor known to get indigestion."
"is that a Lisp interpreter in your editor, or are you just happy to see me?"
"no job too big... no job."
"the Swiss Army of Editors."
"Lovecraft was an optimist."
"indefensible, reprehensible, and fully extensible."
"where Turing-completeness is only the beginning..."
"Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated and byte-compiled."
"because extension languages should come with the editor built in."
"if it payed rent for disk space, you'd be rich."
"a compelling argument for pencil and paper."
"it's like swatting a fly with a supernova."
"the only text-editing software to require its own heat sink."
"featuring the world's first municipal garbage collector!"
"the road to Hell is paved with extensibility."
"a learning curve you can use as a plumb line."
"there's a reason it comes with a built-in psychotherapist."
"it's not slow --- it's stately."
"is that a text-editor you've got there, or is it Montana?"
"more than just a Lisp interpreter, a text editor as well!"
"freely redistributable; void where prohibited by law."
"(setq software-quality (/ 1 number-of-authors))"
"because idle RAM is the Devil's playground."
"a Lisp interpreter masquerading as ... a Lisp interpreter!"
"anything free is worth what you paid for it."
"ballast for RAM."
"more boundary conditions than the Middle East."
"you'll understand when you're older, dear."
"the prosecution rests its case."
"don't cry -- it won't help."
"because one operating system isn't enough."
"well, why *shouldn't* you pay property taxes on your editor?"
"a real time environment for simulating molasses-based life forms."
"if SIGINT doesn't work, try a tranquilizer."
"an inspiring example of form following function... to Hell."
"because editing your files should be a traumatic experience."
"or perhaps you'd prefer Russian Roulette, after all?"
"it's all fun and games, until somebody tries to edit a file."
"impress your (remaining) friends and neighbors."
"ed :: 20-megaton hydrogen bomb : firecracker"
"because Hell was full."
"where editing text is like playing Paganini on a glass harmonica."
"the answer to the world surplus of CPU cycles."
"don't try this at home, kids."
"everything *and* the kitchen sink."
"why choose between a word processor and a Lisp interpreter when you could have neither instead?"]
"Facts about Emacs that you and your loved ones should be aware of.")
(defun emacs-threat-of-the-day (&optional prefix)
"A Cautionary Tale."
(interactive)
(let ((threat (threat-of-the-day emacs-threats
(or prefix "Emacs: "))))
(if (interactive-p)
(message threat)
threat)))