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Amanda Palmer - Dear Daily Mail
Saturday, July 13th, 2013 at 3:00:31am UTC 

  1. Dear Daily Mail,
  2. It has come to my recent attention,
  3. That my recent appearance at Glastonbury Festival's
  4. Kindly received a mention,
  5. I was doing a number of things on that stage
  6. Up to and including singing songs - like you do!
  7. But you chose to ignore that and instead you published
  8. A feature review of my boob
  9.  
  10. Dear Daily Mail,
  11. There's a thing called a search engine - use it
  12. If you Googled my tits in advance you'd have found
  13. That your photos are hardly exclusive,
  14. In addition you state that my breast had escaped
  15. From my bra like a thief on the run,
  16. How do you know that it wasn't attempting
  17. To just take in the rare British sun?
  18.  
  19. Dear Daily Mail,
  20. It's so sad what you tabloids are doing,
  21. Your focus on debasing womens' appearances
  22. Devolves our species of humans,
  23. But a rag is a rag, and far be it from me,
  24. To go censoring anyone-- oh no,
  25. It appears that my entire body is currently
  26. Trying to escape this kimono!
  27.  
  28. Dear Daily Mail,
  29. You misogynist pile of twats,
  30. I'm tired of these baby bumps, vag flashes, muffintops,
  31. Where are the news-worthy cocks?
  32. When Iggy, or Jagger, or Bowie, go shirtless
  33. The news barely causes a ripple,
  34. Blah blah blah feminist, blah blah blah gender shit,
  35. Blah blah blah OH MY GOD NIPPLE
  36.  
  37. Dear Daily Mail,
  38. You will never write about this night,
  39. I know that because I've addressed you directly
  40. I've made myself no fun to fight,
  41. But thanks to the internet people all over the world
  42. Can enjoy this discourse,
  43. And commune with a roomful of people in London
  44. Who aren't drinking Kool-Aid like yours
  45.  
  46. And though there be millions of people who accept
  47. The cultural bar where you have it at it,
  48. There are plenty of others who are perfectly willing
  49. To see breasts in their natural habitat
  50. I keenly anticipate your highly literate
  51. Coverage of upcoming tours
  52. Dear Daily Mail,
  53. Up Yours.

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