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- YoGPod episode 1 - Snowscast
- Friday, May 11th, 2012 at 2:38:32am MDT
- *Yogscast music* Hello, and welcome to Yogscast.
- Xephos: Lomadia, Can you say You are listening to the YoGPod with Xephos and Honeydew?
- Lomadia: Does it have to be called YoGPod?
- Xephs: Yes...
- Lomadia: Hello, and welcome to the Yog.... oh shit! The Yogs... Yogpod.. Pod Yog? What was it?
- Honeydew: Brilliant.
- Xephos: That'll do...
- *Yogscast music*
- Honeydew: You are listening to the YoGPod.
- *Music ends*
- Honeydew: Hellos. I'm back. Hope everything is uh.. good.. where.. where you are.
- Xephos: I'm fine, how was the walk in the snow?
- Honeydew: It was a bit slippery out there. It was, it was scary.
- Xephos: Did you have any adventures?
- Honeydew: I just bought lots of stuff to drink - water, one small bottle of coke, some milkshake, some Avena.
- Xephos: I kinda like to record a snowy yogscast. I think we should....
- Honeydew: Snowcast!
- Xephos: Yeah, snowcast.
- Honeydew: Snowsgscast... Snogscast.
- Xephos: Snogscast? That would be something completely different.
- Honeydew: There's like 4 fucking threads on the front page of GBS (General Bullshit. See: Something Awful forums) about snow. And of course everyone complain Oh, you call that snow? Oh, That only happens once a year where you are... Where we are.. oh... oh.. fuss about nothing. Oh oh ye woo ehh aaa
- Xephos: A lot of people just sort of get on with it, don't they? You know, and..
- Honeydew: It's snowing, deal with it.
- Xephos: In Canada, and Finland, you know, snow is like part of, you know, their way of life, but the fact is that..
- Honeydew: Part of their culture.
- Xephos: In England, we don't actually have any proper facilities to deal with snow, you know, we don't have really any snow trucks that go out and like salt the roads and stuff.
- Honeydew: Because.. Because it snows so rarely we don't have the infrastructure to deal with snow on a daily basis, because it doesn't happen on a daily basis.
- Xephos: No, it's probably like one day every year....
- Honeydew: So of course we get caught out.
- Xephos: Well, I don't know whether we get caught out as much as we know it's gonna happen we just accept that everything's just gonna shut down for a whole day.
- Honeydew: The inevitability...
- Xephos: Yeah...
- Honeydew: It's cheaper, probably, to just write off like three days a year rather then put all of those millions, or tens of millions or hundreds of millions into, you know, shoring up our infrastructure against snow. It's just not fucking worth it. You'd rather just, you know, say Okay, the entire workforce of England can have a fucking day off, fuck it.
- Xephos: I love the fact that like certain old people say things when it snows that like Yeah, Global Warming. Hahaha and stuff like this when Global Warming doesn't actually mean hotter, well, it does mean hotter temperatures, but it also means more extremities. Hotter summers, but colder winters, potentially.
- Honeydew: You don't make any sense. You're illogical, you're not thinking this through, are you?
- Xephos: No, but Global Warming...
- Honeydew: You just bought into this, this false misinformation that's being spread around saying Oow, the world's in trouble, oowoowoo we've got to stop using CFCs, and oowoowoowoo
- Xephos: CFCs are pretty much completely stopped being used by the way now.
- Honeydew: Not by me. I have to order my deodorant from fucking Iraq, have it shipped over here, it costs me eight pounds a bottle of deodorant just so that I can stick two fingers up to Brussel, and to Al Gore.
- Xephos: Brussel?
- Hondeydew: Fuck you Brussels. Brussels, sorry, plural. And Al Gores. Plural, yeah.
- Xephos: Brussel sprout. Fuck you, Brussel!
- Hondeydew: Fuck you, Russell.. Brand.. Russell's brand. Fuck you.
- Xephos: Russell Brand?
- Hondeydew: Al Gores. Als and Gores.
- Xephos: Als Gores.
- Hondeydew: What's the Al actually short for? Is it Allen or Alfred?
- Xephos: Albert.
- Hondeydew: Or Albert?
- Xephos: I think it's Albert.
- Hondeydew: Albert. Albert Gore.
- Xephos: Albakerky Bore. Gore. Bore?
- Hondeydew: Alonzo. He's actually Latino.
- Xephos: Alonzo Bore? Gore. He sounds like a racing driver.
- Hondeydew: He's surname isn't really Gore. It's Himaneth.
- Xephos: What?
- Hondeydew: Hhheemaneth. Jimmanez. No, Jimmanez, but it's pronounced Himaneth.
- Xephos: Why are you saying it so quickly?
- Hondeydew: Himaneth.
- Xephos: You ss...
- Hondeydew: Everyone who speaks Spanish talks quickly. Because they know that other people who only have the barest grasp of Spanish won't understand what they're saying when they talk quickly.
- Xephos: Yeah, but it's probably the same thing with us now. We're talking rather quickly and we probably don't appreciate other people who don't speak English as their first language.
- Hondeydew: I got a Chinese guy here who knows, he he plays WoW(See World of Warcraft) for me and like farms and stuff, I have him like.
- Xephos: Oh, put him on.
- Hondeydew: Okay, I'll just get him.
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Hello!
- Xephos: Hello. What's your name?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Uh, my name is Swun Ji.
- Honeydew: I got to be careful, actually. There's these people who have this Chinese restaurant like a couple of doors up, they might hear me.
- Xephos: I don't think that's the biggest worry here. Seeing how I'm putting it on the internet.
- Hondeydew: Oh shit.
- Xephos: Swen Ji? Can you put him back on again?
- Hondeydew: Okay, I'll just go and get him. . [Honeydew fakes footsteps] ... Can you hear my footsteps as I walk away?
- Xephos: Yeah, yeah.
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Hello!
- Xephos: Hello. Ummm. So you're Honeydew's.. You work for Honeydew, is that right?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Ya, that is right.
- Xephos: Do you, umm. What's your .. What would you consider your main job to be? Is it gold farming?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Fluffing.
- Xephos: Oh, right, okay. So your from China originally. Does it snow in China at all?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Not really.
- Hondeydew: I can't do the accent, I can't do the accent.. it's terrible. I can't even do the stereotypical.. fucking... you know, old northern comedian Chinese accent. I can't even do that
- Xephos: What do you mean? That was beautiful. That was perfect.
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Not really.
- Hondeydew: I mean, how do you... what the fuck?
- Xephos: It's fine. That's fine. Uh.. Can I have a..
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) R(L)eally. Not really. Really?
- Honeydew: I can't, I can't do it.
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) HELLO!
- Xephos: Do you perhaps make food? Do you make Chinese food? What kind of food..
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) I make fish and chip.
- Xephos: Just the one chip?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Fishes and chip, ya.
- Honeydew: Ya?! What's ya?! What's ya? Where'd the ya come from?! That's German...
- Xephos: Ya? Goodness me. Well, it's been very enjoyable talking to you.
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Thank you very much.
- Xephos: Could you possibly say goodbye to the viewers of the Yogscast?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Hello!
- Xephos: No. Goodbye.
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Good bly...
- Xephos: Oh god..
- Honeydew: Awful. Absolutely awful. Awful.
- Xephos: Awful. Awful.
- Honeydew: Awful. I feel embarrassed. I feel ashamed. I feel dirty.
- * Yogscast music * Honeydew: You're listening to the YoGPod.
- Xephos: Do you think we can get Shang Ji to read out some famous works of fiction?
- Honeydew: Umm.. Only if it's got like a low reading age. Because he doesn't know an awful lot of English.
- Xephos: What, like 'Spot The Dog'?
- Honeydew: So.. No. Was it 'Green Eggs and Ham' that was written using less than 50 words? 50 different words of the English language.
- Xephos: Uhh.. What? Eggs, green, ham, hat, cat..?
- Honeydew: Yeah... I'll just find it on Wikipedia. I'm fairly certain he made it as.. You know, like a challenge. Uhh..
- Xephos: Dr. Seuss..
- Honeydew: Vocabulary text consists of just 50 different words of which 49 are.. monosyllabic. I can't even pronounce that. I don't know.. They've only got one syllable.
- Xephos: Can Wang Shi pronounce it?
- Chinese Guy (Hondeydew): (In a Chinese accent) Monosivallic!
- Honeydew: No, he can't.
- Xephos: Momosybalic.....
- Honeydew: The 50 word are: a, am, and, anywhere, are, be, boat, box, car, could
- Xephos: Alright, Alright.. Getting the idea...
- Honeydew: could, dark, do, eat, eggs, fox, goat
- Xephos: 50? It's quite a lot of words.
- Honeydew: good, green, ham, here, house, I, if, in, let
- Xephos: Stop it!
- Honeydew: like, may, me
- Xephos: How long is this book?
- Honeydew: mouse, not, on, or, rain, Sam, say, see, so, thank, that, the, them, there, they, train, tree, try
- Xephos: It's almost like a book already. Just reading that out...
- Honeydew: will, with, would, you
- Honeydew: I would not, could not, in a box.
- I could not, would not, with a fox.
- I will not eat them with a mouse.
- I will not eat them in a house.
- I will not eat them here or there.
- I will not eat them anywhere.
- I do not like green eggs and ham.
- I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
- Xephos: Does that mean 'Sam I am' as in 'I am Sam'?
- Honeydew: It's like will.i.am. The famous Um.. singer and.. artist.
- Xephos: William?
- Honeydew: From the Black Eyed Peas. No, he's called will.i.am.
- Xephos: So when he says I do not like them, Sam I am is Sam-I-am the person he's talking to? or..
- Honeydew: Yeah, Sam-I-am is called Sam-I-am. Much like will.i.am is called will.i.am.
- Xephos: Do you reckon the name William originally came from people saying Will I am?
- Honeydew: Yes. And in the future a lot of people will be called Sam-I-am.
- Xephos: Do you reckon more people will be called..
- Honeydew: Louise-I-am!
- Xephos: Yeah, like Honeydew-I-am.
- Honeydew: Simon-I-am. Will.i.am-I-am.
- Xephos: Craig-I-am.
- Honeydew: Dave-I-am. Oh man, off on a tangent here, but to discover the Fallout 3 has a Republic of Dave.. I was so happy with that.
- Xephos: The Republic of Dave? Goodness.
- Honeydew: The Republic of Dave. With president Dave.
- Xephos: That sounds incredible.
- Honeydew: It is. It absolutely is. It's in the very North East of the map. And it's just like a shitty little farm. With like 7 people there. And that's he's 'Republic'.
- Xephos: Don't you need to have a certain amount of people in order to have a republic? Like, a certain amount of people on the senate or whatever.
- Honeydew: I don't know. Ask the cunt Danny Wallace about it.
- Xephos: Who?
- Honeydew: He wrote 'The Yes Man', starring Will Carrey. He's a British comedian
- Xephos: Jim Carrey.
- Honeydew: And he.. he... Who did he use to live with?
- Xephos: Did you just say Will Carrey?
- Honeydew: Jim Carrey. Did I say Will Carrey? I'm sorry. I got will.i.am on the brain.
- Xephos: will.i.am Carrey? 'Yes Man'? That film that has just came out? I've seen it, it's actually, it was ok. I thought it was quite funny.
- Honeydew: Oh, is it? Is it?
- Xephos: yeah..
- Honeydew: I mean, Jim Carrey has already starred in a movie where he had to tell the true for 24 hours. And now he's in a movie where he has to say yes to everything for 24 hours or whatever. What's the next fucking movie he's gonna be in? You know, every time someone asks him for anal sex he has to like agree with it? Or something. What a pile of shit.
- Xephos: People were saying it's kinda similar to like 'Liar Liar' in a kind of many ways. But people are saying that that new one with Brad Pitt in it...
- Honeydew: Oh let me guess. He's got like a little son or a little daughter, and he like distanced himself from him. You know, his relationship isn't going so well because, you know, his career has come first and so like a magical pixie grants a wish or curses him or some shit. Awww.... It's awful!
- Xephos: Uh, no. What happens is he like.. well.. yeah. He basically got himself in a situation where he has to say yes to everything and..
- Honeydew: And he goes on a journey and he grows as a person. Doesn't he? He grows as a person.
- Xephos: There are some horrible bits. But it's generally ok. So the other film that I was talking about was 'The Strange Life of Benjamin Button or something.
- Honeydew: Oh right, yeah.
- Xephos: This kid is born.. and he's like old and weird... And then he grows up, right? But as he grows up he sort of become younger. Now what I had a problem with was, with the story, was the he was born as like a little baby but really old baby. But then he grew up
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