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TSA screening transcript
Sunday, November 14th, 2010 at 7:36:31am UTC 

  1. Transcript of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7txGwoITSj4 , TSA Screening, Terminal 2, SAN, Nov. 13, 2010 - part 1
  2.  
  3. See http://johnnyedge.blogspot.com/2010/11/these-events-took-place-roughly-between.html for context.
  4.  
  5. John: I was just getting a bit out for you.
  6.  
  7. Appreciate that.
  8.  
  9. John: No problem.
  10.  
  11. What's the deal with the shoes, are we still taking them off?
  12.  
  13. TSA Lady 1: Always and forever.
  14.  
  15. Uugh.
  16.  
  17. Watch your step there.
  18.  
  19. Shoes? 
  20.  
  21. TSA Lady 1: Anything in here you need to take out?
  22.  
  23. John: Um, my belt going to be alright?
  24.  
  25. TSA Lady 1: Both remove the belt, and --
  26. 1:00
  27. anything out of your pockets, and step over to this lady right over there.
  28.  
  29. John: Alright.
  30.  
  31. TSA Lady 1: Anything in your pockets at all, paper, everything needs to come out.
  32.  
  33. John: Paper?
  34.  
  35. TSA Lady 1: Paper needs to come out, otherwise they'll cut you down.
  36.  
  37. TSA Lady 1: There you go.
  38.  
  39. TSA Lady 1: Hi.
  40.  
  41. John: Hello?
  42.  
  43. TSA Lady 1: Have a nice day.
  44.  
  45. 1:21
  46. -----
  47. 1:46
  48.  
  49. TSA Man 1: Whose bag?
  50.  
  51. TSA Man 1: Whose bag is this, sir?  This yours?
  52.  
  53. John: Nope.
  54.  
  55. TSA Man 1: OK, we're running this one.
  56.  
  57. 2:00
  58.  
  59. TSA Man 2: ?? your property is on this side?
  60.  
  61. John: That's it right there, actually.
  62.  
  63. TSA Man 2: We're going to go over here please.
  64.  
  65. John: Um, I need to wait for my bag, actually.
  66.  
  67. TSA Man 2: Oh, OK.  I thought that was it.
  68.  
  69. TSA Man 1: We'll start with your backpack.
  70.  
  71. John: Oh, alright. Backpack?
  72.  
  73. TSA Man 1: Yeah.
  74. 2:27
  75. -----
  76. 2:43
  77.  
  78. TSA Man 1: And this one, right here.
  79.  
  80. TSA Man 2: We're going to go back here, please.
  81.  
  82. TSA Man 2: Yeah, had a problem with the passagener I was patting down, so I backed out.  He was being obnoxious.
  83.  
  84. 3:00
  85.  
  86. TSA Man 1: Howbout over here.
  87.  
  88. John: Alright.
  89.  
  90. TSA Man 1: Do you have anything in your pockets?
  91.  
  92. John: I don't think so, they had me take them all out.
  93.  
  94. TSA Man 1: No belt, no nothing.
  95.  
  96. John: Nope, no belt, no nothing.
  97.  
  98. TSA Man 1: Uh, do you have any external or internal implants that I need to
  99. be aware of?
  100.  
  101. John: No.
  102.  
  103. TSA Man 1: I'm going to be doing a standard pat down on you today,
  104. using my hands, going like this, on your body,
  105.  
  106. John: Uh huh.
  107.  
  108. TSA Man 1: Also, we're going to be doing a groin check.  That means
  109. I'm going to place my hand on your hip, my other hand on your inner
  110. thigh slowly go up and slide down.
  111.  
  112. John: OK.
  113.  
  114. TSA Man 1: I'm going to do that two times in the front and two times
  115. in the back.
  116.  
  117. John: Alright.
  118.  
  119. TSA Man 1: And, if you'd like a private screening, we can make that
  120. available for you, also.
  121.  
  122. John: We can do that out here, but if you touch my junk, I'm going to
  123. have you arrested.
  124.  
  125. TSA Man 1: Actually, uh ... we're going to have a supervior over here because of your statement.
  126.  
  127. 4:00
  128.  
  129. John: OK.
  130.  
  131. TSA Man 1: Supervisor!
  132.  
  133. 4:01
  134. ----
  135. 4:24
  136.  
  137. TSA Supervisor: What do you want? Can you wait a little more?
  138.  
  139. TSA Man 1: I have, uh
  140.  
  141. TSA Supervisor: You have an issue?
  142.  
  143. TSA Man 1: issue.
  144.  
  145. TSA Supervisor: You have an issue. OK, there are three things going on
  146. gentlemen? If you don't mind.  One sec.
  147.  
  148. 4:32
  149. ----
  150. 4:43
  151.  
  152. TSA Man 1: Uhhuh. We have an issue here.
  153.  
  154. TSA Supervisor: Thank you, we're gone.
  155.  
  156. 4:45
  157. ----
  158. 4:52
  159.  
  160. TSA Supervisor: Thank you.
  161.  
  162. TSA Man 1: Gentleman brought to my attention that if touch his
  163. ... area he's going to have me arrested.  We're having a problem here.
  164.  
  165. TSA Supervisor: Oh, OK.  So then we're going to get a different
  166. officer, uh, you're a couple of choices here.
  167.  
  168. John: OK.
  169.  
  170. TSA Supervisor: Someone is going to pat you down and they will be
  171. raising their hand up your inner theigh until they can reach the
  172. bottom of your torso, if .. you're not comfortable with that we can
  173. escort you back out and you don't have to fly today.
  174.  
  175. John: OK, I don't understand how a sexual assult can be made a
  176. condition of my flying.
  177.  
  178. TSA Supervisor: This is not, this is not considered a sexual assult --
  179.  
  180. John: It would be if you wern't the government.
  181.  
  182. TSA Supervisor: This is considered an administrative search and we are
  183. authorized to do it. You have submitted yourself to it by coming
  184. through the checkpoint.
  185.  
  186. John: Well, there's a whole bunch a people who din went through and
  187. didn't submit themselves to it.
  188.  
  189. TSA Supervisor: Everybody has submitted themselves, I've submitted
  190. myself, Rob has, we have all submitted ourselves.
  191.  
  192. John: Well if you enjoy being touched by other people that's fine; I'd like
  193. only my wife, and maybe my doctor to touch me there.
  194.  
  195. TSA Supervisor: Well, in that case, uh, we'll we'll get a manager
  196. involved, you go ahead and have a seat and stand by.
  197.  
  198. John: Sure.  Alright. 
  199.  
  200. TSA Man 1: OK.
  201.  
  202. 5:47
  203. ----
  204. 7:50
  205.  
  206. John: Get a lot of people opt'ing out of these machines?
  207.  
  208. TSA Man 1: No.
  209.  
  210. John: Really?
  211.  
  212. 7:53
  213. ----
  214. 7:58
  215.  
  216. TSA Man 1: Only thing that'll happen is, you're jepordizing your
  217. flight, and that's all.
  218.  
  219. John: If that's what it takes, that's fine.  I won't think that, uh --
  220. having to submit to being uh, sexually molested should be a condition
  221. of flying.
  222.  
  223. TSA Man 1: I think security outweighs a lot of things.  But we'll have
  224. the law enforcement --
  225.  
  226. John: I, I disagree.
  227.  
  228. TSA Man 1: and you're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to
  229. mine.
  230.  
  231. John: I agree.
  232.  
  233. 8:21
  234. ----
  235. 8:30
  236.  
  237. John: Yeah, it's, it's nothing personal.
  238.  
  239. TSA Man 1: It's OK.  Upon buying the ticket, you gave up a lot of your rights.
  240.  
  241. John: Well, I think arguably the governemnt took them away after 9/11.
  242.  
  243. 8:42
  244. ----
  245. 8:50
  246.  
  247. TSA Lady 2: The cop's going to be with you in a second.
  248.  
  249. TSA Man 1: OK.
  250.  
  251. John: Alright.
  252. 8:52
  253. ----
  254. 9:25
  255.  
  256. John: Yeah?
  257.  
  258. John: I'm not letting them feel me up as a condition to get on the plane, I'll turn around and walk out of here if that's what it comes to.
  259.  
  260. Policeman: Yes, that's your option here.  Just get out.
  261.  
  262. John: I understand, I understand what my option is.
  263.  
  264. Policeman: OK, great.  I just want you to understand.
  265.  
  266. John: I mean, I mean, there's plenty of people walking through a metal detector who arn't being felt up; --
  267.  
  268. Policeman: -- unless --
  269.  
  270. John: I'm happy to submit to that level of screening.
  271.  
  272. Policeman: That's up to you, buddy, but, so, uh, anyways.
  273.  
  274. John: I'll pay you back for the ticket, I mean.
  275.  
  276. John's father-in-law: I'm not worried about that!
  277.  
  278. John: Well, ... I'm worried about what's going on here and I'm not
  279. going to --
  280.  
  281. John's father-in-law: Did you walk through the thing?
  282.  
  283. John: They wouldn't let me.  I'm not walk -- I'm not going through the
  284. X-ray machine, I'm happy to use the metal detector like everybody else.
  285.  
  286. John: I mean, 80% of these people are going through the metal detector
  287. and not being felt up; I don't see why I should be any different.
  288.  
  289. John: I'm, I'm happy to walk out of here. 
  290.  
  291. John: Well, somebody's got to.
  292.  
  293. John's father-in-law: Not necessarily have to be you. 
  294.  
  295. John: You guys are free to go catch it, like I said, I'll pay you back
  296. for the ticket, I'll hazard the cost of the ticket if that's what this
  297. comes to.
  298.  
  299. John: Hold this reciept. And you're her dad, I know.
  300.  
  301. John: I'm not letting these guys touch me where only my wife and my
  302. doctor are allowed to.
  303.  
  304. John: It's not about ... it's about.
  305.  
  306. John: What the're doing here would be illegal if they wern't the government.
  307.  
  308. John's father-in-law: I do not understand .. that's all the same thing.
  309.  
  310. John: And it would, it would be -- Well, you wouldn't be touching my junk.
  311.  
  312. John: And on the street, you would have to have some kind of reasonable suspcion, to even start ?? kind of level.
  313.  
  314. John's father-in-law: So what's the alternative right now?  A private
  315. screening, or what?
  316.  
  317. John: No, iff the're going to feel me up, I want everybody ...

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